lost
I feel like i have just lost the world from under my feet. you were my whole life my drive. i wanted to be like you in so many ways. i don't blame you for going i just hate myself because i wasnt able to be there for you. i was busy and now i am on the other side of the continent. i know you will be happy where you are going. i know it also is not that far away. i had so many visions and dreams of us finishing highschool together. you were and still are closer then blood to me. i will never meet any one like you again. i love you with all my heart and i dont know if you will ever read this. i still have friends in school but it wont be the same. they dont think like we do and i cant go and be fully me. you are the closest chick friend i have. i feel like i am loosing you. life is going to consist of school, work and then the random after school activity. it has lost meaning and the hope that your mom will be nice and let us hang. i think i now know fully how isaac felt. i will never be jealous of him and above everything i respect you and him. i will never go away and i will always be there for you no matter what. there are going to be days that i come down just to visit you but it will be harder for me seeing as i dont know how my dad will take that. my new alibi my become that i am spending the nite at colbys or i may just have to do a major fessing up to the rents i dont know. i know all this is for the best but i will always feel like i lost part of myself.