Concrit Post 11

[hmd_meme]

How's My Driving?

∞ comment with all the journals you RP with (and the communities they're from).
∞ reply to other people's comments (anon or logged in) with constructive criticism
∞ learn from the suggestions and profit!

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Comments

[perfectrecord]

Active at damned:
Manfred von Karma (Ace Attorney): perfectrecord

Homeless/fountainofcod/dear_mun/various IC memes:
Mike Meekins (Ace Attorney): dork_at_duty
Lucca (Chrono Trigger): guns_n_glasses
And several others listed on my all-purpose crit post (anon enabled/IP logging disabled/all comments screened)

As always, I am most interested in characterization/ICness and writing style.

I am aware of the following issues but am open to feedback on how to overcome them:

* Activity level (face it, I will never be an IC comment spammer, but an average of one post per week isn't acceptable either, even with an RL job, and ESPECIALLY since I just have the one active character =P )
* Verbosity/tl;dr-ness (I have been trying to cut down on extraneous verbiage and adverbs, but there is still much room for improvement, and I know I need to pay better attention to this)
* OOC confidence (again, this is something I have been working on, but I do worry about erring in the opposite direction, of seeing too... IDK, arrogant? =/ I hope I haven't been coming across that way, but if I do, please let me know... that's a far worse sin to me than coming across as insecure ^^;; )
* Keeping track of other folks' threads, which ties into activity level (unfortunately, this means that I am largely unqualified to give crit to other people here, unless I directly threaded with you in the past month... otherwise, whatever I said to you before still stands, and if I don't reply, I apologize, and it doesn't mean that I'm ignoring you or think you suck or anything like that... it just means that I am not qualified to offer crit ^^;; Sorry about that)

[perfectrecord]

Going anon for this just because I feel more comfortable, but: You're constantly putting yourself down. You need to stop that, because it's making people not want to thread with you. You're even doing that here: you're not unqualified to give concrit. So, just...don't put yourself down in everything you write. That's the biggest thing you can do to improve. ♥

[itsabere]

I have to say that I agree with this. You're a good person, but it gets kind of uncomfortable to watch you flagellate yourself over your RPing skills. A bit of confidence goes a long way; not only is it more attractive to others, but it may also go a long way to improve your own perspective on yourself. It's like what they say sometimes about laughing and smiling - even if you don’t feel like doing it, giving it a go can cheer you up.

[perfectrecord]

*Nodnod* Well, what I'm worried about is that I could get carried away and err on the opposite extreme and become one of those people that the RP world hates more than anything else. =/ You know, the fabled players who think they are just all that and don't live up to their claims. If the RP ranting comms have taught me anything, it's that self-confident players of any skill level carry a stigma, even if it's not warranted nor fair. =/ (Yes, I am aware that I need to take them with a grain of salt, but... XD; )

So, you're saying that... if I dare to show more confidence (whether I actually feel it or not), it won't count against me here? >.> I know that no one expects me to ever have the kind of ballsy attitude that my muse does, LOL. XD I guess there has to be a balance, a fine line there. I'll keep trying, then... and, um... what if, say, I did Jen's challenge of writing that list of positive things, even if I didn't actually believe them... would that still count?

And thank you. ^__^

[perfectrecord]

Ahhhh, hrmm... I've been trying, I really have been, but I didn't realize it was still that bad. =/ Some days have just been much harder than others (especially the past week for some reason), but believe me, I have been trying. As I said to Re below, a lot of it is that I don't want to run the risk of getting carried away and erring too much in the opposite direction. Not to mention that it feels rather foreign to me... I should still just go ahead and try to ignore that... as Re said, to just "fake it" for now?

And... thank you. <333

[extantlaw]

Dood, the day I see you being arrogant will be the same day that Satan needs central heating. But you should be proud of your writing, you're damn good at it from all I have seen. And I know you're a smart cookie OOCly too since that's mostly how we've encountered each other.

I can't offer crit on Damned as I don't stalk it but really I have yet to see you do anything that would warrant INTERVENTION of any sort.

[perfectrecord]

Oh, I have the propensity for it, believe it or not (or else I wouldn't be able to fathom playing a character like von Karma XD ), but I try to keep it under wraps. I'm just worried that I could get too carried away and become one of those obnoxious people who think they are the shit. XD

And... thank you! ;o; Your writing is awesome from what I've seen (both Justice/Edgeworth and von Karma at the DR), so coming from you... yeah. *_* *Blushes un-Manfred-like*

No worries! I've been pretty fail at stalking my own game of late, let alone other games. =/ But... I have a little more free time these days, so that may change. X3

Oh... well, if you DO want intervention fodder... I was joking with someone about how his ttly sekrit hobbies include watching cheesy soap operas and Jerry Springer... >.> There you go! XD

[llamaramauk]

Mine... collects coins.

Yeah. IDEK, man. It just came up in a log and stuck with him XD I think mine probably likes candid camera shows XD

[lady_angelina]

...How strange is it that I can actually SEE that? >.> The coin collecting, that is. Like, only coins in mint, uncirculated condition are worth keeping... all others, if they contain a single microscopic scratch, are worthless. XD (Um, yeah... my SO collects coins, which is how I know about this. XD )

And LOL, "Candid Camera." XD He'd probably gloat to himself, Hah! Look at that utter foolishness. I would never act in such a manner.

Also... it looks like PWDR hasn't been posted to in over a week. =/ Is the entry in a locked post?

[extantlaw]

Yes, that is it exactly XD And also he's always struck me as someone who appreciates artistic beauty and the act of creation... hence the choice of LJ name for mine as it relates to Miles.

And oh! It was on Dear Mun! Here: http://community.livejournal.com/dear_mun/13263242.html

(Crit welcome! I am lurking here: http://hmd-meme.livejournal.com/5024.html?thread=6032800#t6032800)

[lady_angelina]

Thanks for the links! :D (And commented on your HMD thread! \o/ It wasn't real crit, but... that was because, frankly, I couldn't see anything to crit on. XD; *Bows to der meister* And... LOL, I'm almost tempted to have my vK threadcrash the one with yours and Ran's, just for the WTFery of having three versions of him interact... XD But nah... I'm not nearly as quick a tagger as either of you, and besides, why ruin what is a perfectly good thread in its own right? :3 )

*Nodnod* I've always seen him as more of a pragmatist than an artist, but I definitely see him as being able to appreciate high quality works of art and music (as I touched on here in his personalized torture session XD; ).

[extantlaw]

Hah hah! LOL that's just PERFECT (excuse the pun!)

And yes he's a strange mix to me of artistic appreciation and philistine. But yours at least plays the violin! Mine has no such artistic tendencies himself... except in regard to the sculpting of Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth. Apart from the coin collection, mine's talents pretty much are confined to the realms of riding, shooting, hunting and the like. Oh and academic fencing, although that particular art is one in which Miles exceeded him... WHOOPS (my VK bears a scar on his cheek from his University days, Miles bears none).

Late reply is so late, sorry D:

[lady_angelina]

Heeeeee, thanks. <3333 It's still ongoing (both I and the NPC mod have been busy in RL), but just about finished... and all in all, I'm pretty happy with the thread. ^___^ (Not gonna lie, it helps immensely to have an NPC mod who is an excellent player such as the one handling my thread.)

Actually, the violin playing is kind of, sort of canon. >.> On the cover art for one of the soundtracks, it shows von Karma playing a violin. Yeah, I know it doesn't look quite like him (i.e. Where's his cravat? And he looks somewhat younger in this picture), but that's definitely him.

I can totally see him doing all of those things... precision shooting and maybe even archery, especially.

No worries!

[extantlaw]

Oh I see - yes I have that CD XD I generally treat anything not immediately in the games but coming from Capcom's direction as "take-it-or-leave-it canon", because mostly it's just too cracktastic and confusing and often blatantly contradicts game canon. I take bits and pieces from it as I see fit, basically - and I am glad to see other people use bits of it too. Fun, isn't it? Hee!

[lady_angelina]

Indeed, it is! X3

In this case, it didn't contradict how I view him, so I figured it worked well enough to use. :3 For that matter, I can also see him as a very graceful dancer, even if he does it rarely (like at formal gala events that he's required to attend and such).

On the other hand... the "Case Files" manga series that Capcom recently published? Pure crack and definitely full of contradictions. XD;;;;;;; (Although, in the Miles Edgeworth one, there is an awwwwwful lot of fan service, in the form of showing Miles topless in a few scenes (including a shower one), and one where he's, um... sitting on the john. >.>;;;;; There's one story in it where Franziska's cake is stolen, and it's implied that vK likes cake (which I, um, really don't think he does, unless it's five-star gourmet quality -- certainly not the storebought one that Winston Payne had offered Fran =/ ).

[llamaramauk]

Oh! And by the way, I had my Manny out to play at the DR this week and he was playing with one of YOUR Manny's buds, among others!