Concrit Post 3

Jan 09, 2009 19:34

How's My Driving?

∞ comment with all the journals you RP with (and the communities they're from).
∞ reply to other people's comments (anon or logged in) with constructive criticism
∞ learn from the suggestions and profit!

► play nice! flaming will not be tolerated, and threads with such will be deleted. Save the wank for rp_anon_memeroleplaysecrets► IP addresses are not ( Read more... )

!concrit

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hanyaaan January 10 2009, 00:51:42 UTC
discedo
- Kinomoto Sakura (hanyaaan)
- twinFai (touchofgossamr) to neverseperated) (yes, it is spelled wrong. I know)
- TRC!Subaru (neverseparated)

polychromatic
- Azmaria Hendric (pracao)
- twinFai (gracedfall)

super_powers
- Fai "Menyanthes" (iluflowers)

toujourshotel
- Chrona (disturbar)

ms_elegante (I haven't been very active recently, but I hope to change that.)
- Kamui (viagem
- twinFai (misfortunfavors)

Concrit is wonderful and all of my journals have tagged crit posts, so if you would rather talk to me there, please don't hesitate!

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envisioned January 10 2009, 01:00:09 UTC
You know what I think of your characters, babe.

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hanyaaan January 10 2009, 01:01:58 UTC
That they're all horrible, OOC-riddled failures of the originals? ;3; And you know I love your Kamui to smidges~ ♥ ty bb :'3

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pissedkitty January 10 2009, 01:05:33 UTC
fff yeah right <3 o/\o

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hanyaaan January 10 2009, 01:06:10 UTC
I think my biggest problem with the way you play Real!Fay is the same reason other people have stated in the past. He's too soft. He mumbles, he stutters, and it almost seems like he doesn't know what he wants. In the chapters you see him in, he makes one thing clear: He knows what he wants. It's a sacrifice, but he doesn't look back. I've seen him say similar things, but rarely do I see that side of him. When he's around Yuui, he's quiet, softspoken, and he doesn't have any sort of real drive. I see the potential there to make him great, but in the meantime, he needs work. He should be more focused and determined, and a little less afraid and paralyzed by his worry.

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hanyaaan January 10 2009, 01:32:48 UTC
Hm, thank you for reminding me of that! I realize that I play him more quiet and soft spoken than how others portray him and sometimes, I admit, I start walking that line that divides quiet and out right wimp.

The way I see it, in my portrayal of him, is that although he is determined about protecting Yuui and making sure that his brother's happiness is secure, he also went through a lot of trauma when he was younger. Looking at how Yuui turned out to be, it's pretty obvious that he still has a few good issues to pound out. I keep looking back at their arc together and note how determined and strong he was when he choose Yuui over himself, giving his life to Yuui, but also that Yuui too, in the beginning was also determined as well to reach Fai and leave their prison. When Yuui left with Ashura he was hardly very outspoken and barely even smiled.

Now, I know Yuui =/= Fai, but they do share a lot of traits together (being twins and all). When they're together (based on my own assumptions from what we are given in canon) they are ( ... )

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hanyaaan January 10 2009, 02:03:21 UTC
I do see where you're tying to go with it, but don't make the fatal mistake of making him just like Yuui once he's in Ashura. I know that working with Fay is a wildcard, and there's a lot of headcanon involved, which makes every portrayal vastly different from the others. I know he's a Clamp character, which automatically makes him a candidate for excessive angst, and that's another line you definitely have to be careful with.

My best suggestion to you is to re-read the chapters that focus on his arc. Watch his speech patterns and expressions and apply that to what you're doig in your posts and tags; this goes doubly so with characters he talks to a lot, like Yuui and Kamui.

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hanyaaan January 10 2009, 02:07:01 UTC
Yes, you are very right. I've been trying to work on not crossing those lines and I'll continue to do so as the future comes.

:3 Mhm, I will! Thank you again for taking the time out to help me, anon ♥

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precto January 10 2009, 01:35:13 UTC
I pretty much lurve Azmaria.

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hanyaaan January 10 2009, 01:38:49 UTC
AND AZU LURVES YOU TOO 'A'

...l-lol but for realz, thanks ;3; I love playing her, especially with you guys~ It's so much fun ♥

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precto January 10 2009, 01:44:01 UTC
YOU'VE DEDUCED MY IDENTITY THAT QUICKLY?

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hanyaaan January 10 2009, 01:46:54 UTC
IT WASN'T HARD, LET ME ASSURE YOU ♥

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skybound_love January 10 2009, 01:45:18 UTC
The most adorable CLAMP characters ever, played to perfection. Especially difficult with Fai, with how little we get of him. It's hard playing kids.

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hanyaaan January 10 2009, 01:48:57 UTC
;A; It is very hard, but really enjoyable when you get positive results knowing you're doing an okay good job~!

>A< Thank you! I'll continue to do my best!

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hanyaaan January 10 2009, 03:04:17 UTC
Seconding all that the anon said about your Fai.

And adding that your Sakura sounds too calm and almost old. She's a young girl full of energy and enthusiasm and happiness, but I don't see that reflected in the way you play her.

Your Subaru seems to have the same problem as your Fai. You're overdoing his soft-spoken, polite side, and forgetting that he's got a spine.

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hanyaaan January 10 2009, 03:11:28 UTC
Does she? I thought I was playing her pretty perky, but maybe what you're seeing is the effects the environment has on her? She's trying to be positive and upbeat about her situation, even if she misses home and her family. Even so, I'll work on that! o/

He does have a spine, I know, but from how I see it he'd rather solve problems and issues without violence and threats, like Kamui does. It isn't often, but there were a few times where he became a bit enraged at X!Seishirou when he found out how much he hurt his brother. Subaru is just as protective over Kamui as Kamui is over Subaru, even if he isn't as...bold about it.

But yeah, I do think you have a valid point and I will try my best to ease up a bit on those parts of him. Thank you for your input!

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