(no subject)
i wish i was the kind of person who could just do things that caught my attention without even thinking twice about it.
but most of the time, i get these great, exciting ideas, or someone presents me with an idea that sounds perfect at first...but then i think about it too much and end up not taking the opportunity.
and its not always my fault. like, the wales thing, i just couldn't really do that with my financial aid situation and that sucks because i really was considering that.
but like, today, when i met with my co-op advisor, she told me about this co-op opportunity in charleston, sc at the medical university of south carolina in the cardiothoracic surgery and research unit. it sounds like a great opportunity, and i would love to apply for it. but then i start thinking about how i kind of wanted to change my co-op rotation to the fall, and how i don't want to go away for 6 months where i don't know anyone and i'll be in an apartment by myself and i wouldn't meet anyone and i'd be homesick and what if i didn't like the job, my friends wouldn't even be there to make the nights more fun. and if my friends go on spring break trip somewhere i wouldn't even be able to go. and all these negative thoughts just go through my head. i've already started talking myself out of it after only knowing about it for 1/2 hour. but i really do think it would be great. why do i do this to myself? i have so much self-doubt. that's my problem. deep down, i know i would do fine, and probably have a great time. but my head is just a mess of worries.
i guess i might ask for more info. i might as well apply, then i can decide if its worth it or not.
but most of the time, i get these great, exciting ideas, or someone presents me with an idea that sounds perfect at first...but then i think about it too much and end up not taking the opportunity.
and its not always my fault. like, the wales thing, i just couldn't really do that with my financial aid situation and that sucks because i really was considering that.
but like, today, when i met with my co-op advisor, she told me about this co-op opportunity in charleston, sc at the medical university of south carolina in the cardiothoracic surgery and research unit. it sounds like a great opportunity, and i would love to apply for it. but then i start thinking about how i kind of wanted to change my co-op rotation to the fall, and how i don't want to go away for 6 months where i don't know anyone and i'll be in an apartment by myself and i wouldn't meet anyone and i'd be homesick and what if i didn't like the job, my friends wouldn't even be there to make the nights more fun. and if my friends go on spring break trip somewhere i wouldn't even be able to go. and all these negative thoughts just go through my head. i've already started talking myself out of it after only knowing about it for 1/2 hour. but i really do think it would be great. why do i do this to myself? i have so much self-doubt. that's my problem. deep down, i know i would do fine, and probably have a great time. but my head is just a mess of worries.
i guess i might ask for more info. i might as well apply, then i can decide if its worth it or not.