Indiana Jones...
...and the Kingdom of the Crystal Suck
My review follows. SPOILERS POSSIBLE HEREIN. If you haven't seen it, don't read on.
This is your only warning.
No, really, I said it was your only warning.
Wait, that was two warnings. Does this sentence make three?
THREE warnings? Wow, I am getting soft. Anywho...
This wasn't as bad as 'Temple of Suck', but it certainly was no 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' or 'Last Crusade'.
(although, in IJATLC, tell me it wouldn't have been a WAY better ending if Sean Connery had ended up as the grail guard at the end, no? no?)
So, they worked Roswell remotely in to the mix, which was cool, and there were some decent action sequences, but the highlight of the movie for me, honestly, was Shia LeBouf taking it in the nuts a number of times in a row.
I found the characterization to be shallow, the motivations of the villianesse to be poorly motivated, and the plot to feel awfully contrived and rushed.
Some points:
1) In the event of impending nuclear testing, find a refrigerator. You'll be fine.
2) Giant ants don't like magnets.
3) Speaking of magnets, magents in Indy's world are very selective (ie - pulling crowbars out of someones hand, but not affecting their belt buckle or boot eyelets)
4) Falling down multiple 200' waterfalls is easy, possibly even fun. All the damage and injury will be absorbed by the vehicle you are in, and your weak flesh need not fear.
There was a really good part of the movie, fwiw. It is this:
Harrison Ford is the baddest bad-ass of all time. (He was actually the #1 part of the movie)
Discuss.
My review follows. SPOILERS POSSIBLE HEREIN. If you haven't seen it, don't read on.
This is your only warning.
No, really, I said it was your only warning.
Wait, that was two warnings. Does this sentence make three?
THREE warnings? Wow, I am getting soft. Anywho...
This wasn't as bad as 'Temple of Suck', but it certainly was no 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' or 'Last Crusade'.
(although, in IJATLC, tell me it wouldn't have been a WAY better ending if Sean Connery had ended up as the grail guard at the end, no? no?)
So, they worked Roswell remotely in to the mix, which was cool, and there were some decent action sequences, but the highlight of the movie for me, honestly, was Shia LeBouf taking it in the nuts a number of times in a row.
I found the characterization to be shallow, the motivations of the villianesse to be poorly motivated, and the plot to feel awfully contrived and rushed.
Some points:
1) In the event of impending nuclear testing, find a refrigerator. You'll be fine.
2) Giant ants don't like magnets.
3) Speaking of magnets, magents in Indy's world are very selective (ie - pulling crowbars out of someones hand, but not affecting their belt buckle or boot eyelets)
4) Falling down multiple 200' waterfalls is easy, possibly even fun. All the damage and injury will be absorbed by the vehicle you are in, and your weak flesh need not fear.
There was a really good part of the movie, fwiw. It is this:
Harrison Ford is the baddest bad-ass of all time. (He was actually the #1 part of the movie)
Discuss.