oh shit
shit shit. what do i want? why am i so anit-relationship anti-boyfriend. he's perfect and its right there but i think its just all to much and his "hey hun" and needing to touch and hold me 24/7 are pretty much driving me away! idn i know he's like signing the lease etc and moving out there but i want to stay NO STOP I DONT WANT YOU THERE. and i dont know why! idn what i want. and i dont want to hurt him or disappoint my famliy and his GRRRRRRRr heather :( why are u so lame. im going to give this even more time.... idn
i suck.
i really dont want to be tied down. i want to be my own independant self....
but BAH! where did the heather of last week go? i hope she comes back and this is all a bad combo of all my pres. meds for junk and hm...
dear heather: figure out what you want think less and stop rushing yourself because this relationship is rushed as it is
OH and on top of it my dad thinks jake should just move in with me. NO NO NO i want my own life i am not ready for this huge hard core shit well i am ready i just really dont want it i want to just be free !!!!!!!!!!!!! hm
lol ok so basically my relationship is going perfectly and ih ave no reason except for the fact that he is moving 3hrs away for me 2 months into our relationship ( ok 3 months ) and im fraeking out about that but i've thought alot and it has to be more htan just that i just have to figure out what is wrong with me!
p.s. on a happy note... i am employed for at least 25 hours a week when i go back to school so my sched. will pretty much be gym 8-10 school 10-3 work 5-10 gym 10-12 everyday.... weekends are up in the air competitions and such..... haha me and ellen have decided homework has no room in our lives...which very well is a problemo!
god i love ellen. and her and RJ's peanuts too actually (current food )
oh and i miss colleen, and alex, and pam, and joce and partying even if she pisses me off.
who knows where amy has gone in my life
or tori.... but w/e
im ready to go to school and have all this decision making drama over
i suck.
i really dont want to be tied down. i want to be my own independant self....
but BAH! where did the heather of last week go? i hope she comes back and this is all a bad combo of all my pres. meds for junk and hm...
dear heather: figure out what you want think less and stop rushing yourself because this relationship is rushed as it is
OH and on top of it my dad thinks jake should just move in with me. NO NO NO i want my own life i am not ready for this huge hard core shit well i am ready i just really dont want it i want to just be free !!!!!!!!!!!!! hm
lol ok so basically my relationship is going perfectly and ih ave no reason except for the fact that he is moving 3hrs away for me 2 months into our relationship ( ok 3 months ) and im fraeking out about that but i've thought alot and it has to be more htan just that i just have to figure out what is wrong with me!
p.s. on a happy note... i am employed for at least 25 hours a week when i go back to school so my sched. will pretty much be gym 8-10 school 10-3 work 5-10 gym 10-12 everyday.... weekends are up in the air competitions and such..... haha me and ellen have decided homework has no room in our lives...which very well is a problemo!
god i love ellen. and her and RJ's peanuts too actually (current food )
oh and i miss colleen, and alex, and pam, and joce and partying even if she pisses me off.
who knows where amy has gone in my life
or tori.... but w/e
im ready to go to school and have all this decision making drama over