Immersed
Sometimes I must come across like a complete fangirl, the way I seem to focus wholly on one title, and specifically one character, at a time.
I've always been like that, though. It seems I am more content and productive when I have a singular focus; I'm honestly happiest when I have something to obsess over. If I do not, then there is practically no excitement in my life, and I live it dragging myself towards the next day, with blank thoughts. Perhaps that's what I enjoy about fandoms, the opportunity to have something to delve into. The only downside is I tend to like dead titles, or the underappreciated background characters nobody else likes. So I often end up fangirling alone, which stifles the fire until I usually shut up about it.
Yet outside of fandoms and characters, I live immersed in one area as well. It's like I devote 110% of myself to an activity or goal, or else give nothing at all. If I start writing something, I write. If I'm inspired to create a new piece of artwork, it gets my devote attention until it's done. If I'm working, I'm a 9-5 zombie. (If I'm mad at someone, watch the fuck out!) Because if I fail to finish it, if I lose that sense of urgency, take a break, or allow myself to become overwhelmed by too many things at once-than that's it! Nothing ever gets completed, no matter gets settled. I've set too many things to the backburner in this way, and there they still sit collecting dust.
I've always been afraid people think I'm a fickle flip-flop. People I know have even joked that it was "sad" how fast I went through favorites, but that is unfair. Just because I am not currently immersed in it, does not mean I no longer love it or consider it my favorite. It just means I'm not working on something requiring its outspoken presence.
I do envy folks that have a clear enough focus to work on multiple tasks at once; people who can freelance writing and churn out story after story, article after article, or commission after commission. I might take myself too seriously, put too much of myself into one endeavor. Probably why I'll never have a career at this, or be popular within any one fandom.
Anyway, I apologize if you see a lot of Eduardo Dorado Jr. (Young Justice) around at the moment. I'm trying to finish his introspective fanfic, and if I let him go-if I stop equating his personality into every song I hear, stop sketching him, stop putting myself in his shoes-then that damn story will never get finished.
But... obsess much? I guess I do.
I've always been like that, though. It seems I am more content and productive when I have a singular focus; I'm honestly happiest when I have something to obsess over. If I do not, then there is practically no excitement in my life, and I live it dragging myself towards the next day, with blank thoughts. Perhaps that's what I enjoy about fandoms, the opportunity to have something to delve into. The only downside is I tend to like dead titles, or the underappreciated background characters nobody else likes. So I often end up fangirling alone, which stifles the fire until I usually shut up about it.
Yet outside of fandoms and characters, I live immersed in one area as well. It's like I devote 110% of myself to an activity or goal, or else give nothing at all. If I start writing something, I write. If I'm inspired to create a new piece of artwork, it gets my devote attention until it's done. If I'm working, I'm a 9-5 zombie. (If I'm mad at someone, watch the fuck out!) Because if I fail to finish it, if I lose that sense of urgency, take a break, or allow myself to become overwhelmed by too many things at once-than that's it! Nothing ever gets completed, no matter gets settled. I've set too many things to the backburner in this way, and there they still sit collecting dust.
I've always been afraid people think I'm a fickle flip-flop. People I know have even joked that it was "sad" how fast I went through favorites, but that is unfair. Just because I am not currently immersed in it, does not mean I no longer love it or consider it my favorite. It just means I'm not working on something requiring its outspoken presence.
I do envy folks that have a clear enough focus to work on multiple tasks at once; people who can freelance writing and churn out story after story, article after article, or commission after commission. I might take myself too seriously, put too much of myself into one endeavor. Probably why I'll never have a career at this, or be popular within any one fandom.
Anyway, I apologize if you see a lot of Eduardo Dorado Jr. (Young Justice) around at the moment. I'm trying to finish his introspective fanfic, and if I let him go-if I stop equating his personality into every song I hear, stop sketching him, stop putting myself in his shoes-then that damn story will never get finished.
But... obsess much? I guess I do.