(no subject)
Just realized that I don't have an icon that suits my mood. This is as close as it gets, at the moment.
Is there such a thing as too much freedom? I made it a point to not put down roots in Ottawa, thinking that even if I was going to live here for 4 years, I wouldn't stay any longer than that. And that's still true, I think. I like the people I've worked with here, and I love my friends, and the city has a good atmosphere, but the winters are just too long.
Except now... now that I've lived in England, and travelled more in the last 8 months than I ever have in my life (London, Oxford, Newcastle-Under-Lyme, Wales, Dublin, Paris, Luzern, Venice, Florence, Rome, Amsterdam, Brussles), I don't know if I could ever settle down somewhere. I thought I had that, once, but now that dream has burnt itself down to ash and blown away in the wind. The hole where that dream was, and the stability that it promised - love, family, home - is still painful. It'll probably be painful for a long time. But there's nothing to be gained from missing something you never had, is there?
So I guess I'll keep wandering.
Is there such a thing as too much freedom? I made it a point to not put down roots in Ottawa, thinking that even if I was going to live here for 4 years, I wouldn't stay any longer than that. And that's still true, I think. I like the people I've worked with here, and I love my friends, and the city has a good atmosphere, but the winters are just too long.
Except now... now that I've lived in England, and travelled more in the last 8 months than I ever have in my life (London, Oxford, Newcastle-Under-Lyme, Wales, Dublin, Paris, Luzern, Venice, Florence, Rome, Amsterdam, Brussles), I don't know if I could ever settle down somewhere. I thought I had that, once, but now that dream has burnt itself down to ash and blown away in the wind. The hole where that dream was, and the stability that it promised - love, family, home - is still painful. It'll probably be painful for a long time. But there's nothing to be gained from missing something you never had, is there?
So I guess I'll keep wandering.