... I hate this

[hlisterkal]

Most days I'm fine with everything thats happened... and others I hate to wake up in the morning... I guess there's only so many days that you can pretend and actually fight off what your true feelings are. I hate to think about my past... I hate to think about Travis, I hate to think about what we had planned, and sometimes I can help it. I'm sitting here crying like a fucking baby who just had its leg ripped off and I can barely see the fucking screen. I think the part that hurts the most is knowing that after whats gone down in the past couple weeks, that even in the future, there is no way that we can even be friends, not just a call to see how you're doing, or to call the person thats been in your life since day one to tell them that you graduated college, or you got a promotion, or you're getting married, or having a kid... I dunno, I guess I miss the friendship more than anything... but I couldn't take the friendship... So, I had to make the choice... The only good thing thats come out of it is that I found out how big of a liar he is, how psychotic his family is and I'm fuckin grateful as all hell to know I didn't marry into that... and my family is sending me money EVERY month for not being with him... It's the memories that kill me more than anything else I guess... and it sucks, but hey. I'm moving on, I have to move on...

Notice me, take my hand... Why are we strangers when. Our love was strong.. Why carry on without me?

Everytime I try to fly, I fall without my wings...I feel so small, I guess I need you baby and everytime I see you in my dreams, I see your face, it's haunting me...

I make believe that you are here. It's the only way that I see clear. What have I done? You seem to move on easy.

I may have made it rain, please forgive me. My weakness caused you pain and this is my sorry

At night I pray that soon your face will fade away