Chapter 4 (initial draft)
GEM - In Orbit - Akeren - Space Date: 2418.02.19
They had been planetside for six weeks now and Rob was getting antsy. He hated this place with its sanctimonious officials and the never-ending stream of official forms. Once they found a cargo and got off this rock, he was never coming back. But finding a cargo was the problem. Every cargo they had bid for the rights to ship had been given to someone else. And Rob knew those other carriers; he was sure some of them had not underbid him.
There had been problems before with his record as a former Rebel. But everywhere else they had been able to find someone to take a chance on him. There was always some cargo nobody else wanted. Not here though. It was almost as if people had been ordered not to give him their cargos.
Finances for GEM were always tight, but if they stayed much longer GEM was going to go broke. Docking fees were higher than normal here and had been raised twice since their arrival. And while the crew was willing to wait for their pay, they all still had to eat. And for some reason, provisioning seemed especially expensive her as well. At least they had plenty of fuel.
Rob considered his options. One more bid would be awarded today. Maybe they would win this one. But if they didn’t, it was time to leave without a cargo. If he was going to go broke, at least it wouldn’t be here.
*****
Stev headed to his boss's office, so they could go to the bid award meeting together. He really hoped they would win this one, so they could get out of this benighted system while some of the crew members were still talking to Rob.
He knew Rob was frustrated, but he had been exploding at the slightest excuse for two weeks now. Everyone on the crew except Ylana had complained to him about it and he was running out of excuses to give them. Truth be told, he was pretty peeved at Rob himself. And if this wasn't such a miserable excuse for a planet, they might have somewhat fewer crew members. The crew were that mad. If they didn’t win this bid and get out of here, Stev was going to have to confront Rob about his behavior and wouldn’t that be fun?
As he rounded a corner, Stev got smacked in the chest with a purple football. Combat-trained reflexes kicked in and he drew his gun and aimed at the threat before his brain recognized the two teenagers in front of him. Brian's eyes widened in fear at the sight of the gun aimed at his heart. Ian screamed, "Don’t shoot!" and ran up the passageway toward his twin.
Even as Stev recognized them as crew and started to put his gun away, Brian fell to his knees, crying and begging Stev not to kill him. Stev had always thought the kid was a bit overly dramatic, but this was ridiculous.
The hatch to Rob's office slid open.
"What in the hell is going on out here?"
Everyone froze. Nobody spoke up.
"Well?" Rob glared at all three of them.
Ian exchanged a glance with his brother and decided that Brian was too upset to explain. It was up to him then. He took a deep breath.
"Captain, it was all our fault. We were tossing a football around and Brian missed his catch just as Stev came around the corner and it hit him in the chest. It must have startled him, because he drew his gun."
"Of all the hair-brained, stupid… Stev has ten years of combat experience and 20 years of martial arts training. He's damned dangerous to startle. And why the hell aren’t you working anyway? You aren’t on a God-damned pleasure cruise. If you won’t work, you can God-dammed well get off my…"
"Rob, chill." Stev spoke quietly but firmly. Rob stopped in mid-rant, glaring at Stev.
"You keep out of this."
"No." Stev glared back. The boys exchanged another glance and simultaneously started to move out of the line of fire. Clearly they thought the battle between the irresistible force and the immovable object was about to begin and the didn’t want to be collateral damage.
"For Christ sake, Rob. I gave them the damn afternoon off. It's not like we're all that busy right now anyway." That wasn't really true, but Stev wasn't going to let Rob know that. "And you know what Val says about teenagers. She says its their job to do reckless and stupid things. Do I have to remind you of some of the stupid things she says you did at that age?"
Rob glared and boys backed further away.
"Hell, I think finding themselves facing the business end of a gun is punishment enough. Leave it be, Rob."
"It's my God-damned ship and I don’t need your advice. You two are confined to quarters til I say different. Say another word, Stev, and you'll be joining them."
"Rob." The anger in Stev's voice was chilling. The boys were frankly staring. They had never seen him get so coldly angry.
"That's it. go to your quarters and I don’t want to see you again until we land somewhere else."
Stev glared and stood his ground; he hadn’t become the best pilot in the Rebellion by backing up.
"When I took this job, what did you tell me my duties as First Officer were?"
"You know damn well what I said then. Your duties are to keep the damn ship running smoothly, to handle crew problems, to give Sara combat pilot training…" Rob's voice trailed off as he remembered the final duty he had assigned.
"And to tell the Captain when he's being an idiot." Steve finished the statement for Rob. "So, Captain, the crew has a problem and you're being an idiot, SIR."
The twins faded out of sight fast, figuring that it might be better if Rob thought they hadn't heard that.
Rob knew Stev was right. He was behaving badly - overreacting to things he would normally laugh off. "Shit, Stev. We've got to get off this rock before I explode."
"No, we have to get off this rock while you still have a crew."
"That bad." Rob sighed. "You're right, I know my behavior hasn't been ... So what do I need to do?"
"Well first we need to leave this place with or without a cargo."
"OK, I promise that if we win the bid, we stay only long enough to load up and if we don’t we'll be gone by tomorrow. I had about decided that myself already. Go on."
"You need to sit down with every single member of the crew and apologize. All of them but Ylana have complained and you know that she wouldn’t no matter what you said to her, so you probably better apologize to her too, just on general principles. And maybe you should ask each of them what they need to make up for what ever they think you did."
Rob cringed at the thought of personally apologizing to the good doctor. Well at least everybody else would be gracious about it. More gracious than he probably deserved.
"OK, I'll do that once we get underway. Anything else?"
"The sooner the better Rob. I wouldn’t wait til we leave. And yeah there is one other thing. Or were you intending to leave me and the twins confined to quarters?"
Rob reached for the ship com and punched in the code for the twins quarters. "Rob here, I was behaving like a jerk and you aren’t actually confined to quarters. Just don’t play football outside my office anymore."
He turned to Stev. "OK, Stev, you aren’t confined to quarters and I apologize. good enough?"
"Hell I wasn't planning to go to my room like a good little boy anyway. If we are gonna attend this bid award meeting, I guess we'd better get our asses in gear."
*****
As Rob and Stev crossed the cargo bay, Ylana came hurrying in from outside. It was raining pretty hard out there and her clothes were soaked. Rob usually tried to be subtle about appreciating the female figure of women he had no intention of bedding, but he couldn’t help but stare at the way her shirt was plastered against her chest. Rob had seen her naked when they first met, but somehow this was far sexier. He heard Stev's respiration increase and knew he wasn't the only one who found the sight arresting.
"Rob, do you trust me?" Ylana's soft voice startled him out of his sexual fantasy.
Still somewhat bemused, he replied, "Sure." before her tone really sank in. His eyes traveled from her chest to her face. The fear in her expression slammed into his consciousness. "What's wrong," he asked rather sharply.
"Rob, take off now. I'll explain once we get out of here. But if you trust me at all, get off this planet as fast as possible."
Rob looked into her eyes and saw that she was dead serious. He went to the Ship Com and punched in the all ship code.
"Kate, start up the engines. Sara, we're taking off as soon as we can. call the port and … uh…let's see…declare a Class One emergency. Tell that we…uh.. found a bomb in a routine maintenance check and unless they want a big hole in the port facilities in 17 minutes, they had better clear the traffic lanes and let us take off now. Everyone else, secure for emergency takeoff. Rob, out."
Stev, meanwhile closed and locked the cargo bay doors. He looked at Ylana standing there dripping wet and took off his shirt.
"Here, you seem…uh…cold. And I'm feeling kind of…uh…warm, so put this on. There's no time to go to your quarters to change before we take off."
"Thanks." Ylana stripped off her wet shirt and she wasn't wearing any underwear. The men both tried not to look, but like magnets, her hard nipples drew their gazes. She put on the shirt and they all sat down and strapped in for take-off. No one said anything. The men were trying to pretend they weren't aroused and Ylana was secretly amused at their reaction.
After a couple of minutes the acceleration eased off and they could move around the ship again. Rob got up to and headed towards the bridge.
"Don’t you want to hear my explanation, Rob?"
"In a little while. I want to make sure we get out of this system safely first." On that note, Rob disappeared through the hatch.
"Ylana." She turned to look at Stev. "Everybody on the crew trusts you. Well, except maybe Doctor Slimeball. It's not really important to hear the explanation. You would never ask Rob to do something if it wasn't important. You're still cold; you ought to go change."
"How did you know?" Stev pointed. Ylana looked down. "Oh. I'll bring your shirt back in a few minutes."
*****
"Stev."
He looked up from cleaning up the mess in his office caused by the emergency takeoff.
"Here's your shirt. Thanks for letting me have it."
"That's OK."
Ylana stood there, not speaking and sort of fidgeting.
"Something bothering you?"
"Stev, can I ask you something?"
"Ask away. Can’t guarantee I'll have an answer, but you can ask anything."
"Why does Rob…how come I'm…"
"Hard to answer when you don’t finish the question. Come on Ylana, I don’t bite, so spit it out."
Ylana blushed. "It's just that it's kind of an awkward question. Maybe I shouldn’t even bring it up."
Stev caught her eye. "Ylana."
His steady gaze gave her confidence. "How come Rob finds me so unattractive?"
Stev sighed. He often wondered why he seemed to attract these types of questions. Why didn’t she ask Rob? Well he knew why actually, but he wanted to rant internally a bit because this wouldn’t be easy to explain.
"Perhaps you aren’t remembering the look on his face a few minutes ago when you came in soaking wet? He seemed to find you plenty attractive then."
"But he won’t…I mean he never asks me to…And I really...Stevvv." A few tears rolled down her face.
Stev handed her a tissue. "Sit down, this is kind of complicated." He rolled several ways of explaining around in his head. It wasn't so much that it was difficult to explain. but that it was difficult to explain without bringing up things Rob had told him in confidence.
"Look I'm sure Rob thinks you are attractive. And I'm sure he likes you. But, honestly, if you're asking me if he's ever going to make a pass at you, I'd have to say it's unlikely."
"But why not? Is it because so many other men have…"
"No or at least not directly. Rob doesn't like slavery as I'm sure you know. He knows the only sex you've had was rape and he also knows that you feel beholden to him, so you would probably say yes to him no matter what you felt. In that way, I'd say he'd feel a bit like it was rape for him to..."
"But it wouldn’t be like that at all. Rob's nothing like those other men who owned me. I wouldn’t be afraid of him or even indifferent. It certainly wouldn’t be rape. Any way, after awhile it stopped being rape, just one more duty. I'm not in the least afraid of sex. Hell it was usually the easiest duty I had. And it would be nice to do it with someone who cared about me and that I cared about."
"That's not all. Ylana, if he had met you before the war, I mean if you were an adult before the war, then he would have probably found a nice quiet corner and spent some quality time pleasuring you. From all accounts, he was pretty wild before the war. War changes a man though. I know you've seen some bad things as a result of the war, but Ylana, bad as your treatment was it can’t even come close to the kind of bad Rob experienced in the war."
"I don’t exactly know how to say this. I was a pilot in the war. I saw a lot of injured people and a lot of my friends died. But I wasn't in charge. People didn’t die because of my orders. But Rob, he was a ground pounder. War is a lot more personal for them. They see the people they kill as well as their own casualties. The smell of death and destruction is in the air."
"And Rob was a platoon leader. He had to order people in to the fight knowing that they would get killed. And sometimes he had to pass on and obey orders that, well, let's just say that he had to do some things he wouldn’t ever consider doing. And to add to all that he was a POW for 2 years. Some really bad stuff happens to POWs, a lot like what happens to slaves. So Rob has some demons that haunt him. I've a pretty good idea of what they are, but if Rob wanted you to know about them, he'd tell you himself."
"So it's not you, Ylana. He's just not looking for a relationship. He may never go looking for one again. Hell he hardly ever even goes to a whore for relief. Or hadn’t you noticed that in the time you've been on board?"
"So what do I do, Stev? It's not like there are a lot of men to choose from here. You're taken, Joam's not attracted to women, Gelb isn’t even human. That leaves Rob. And I really like Rob. Not just because of what he's done for me, but because he's a good decent person whose company I enjoy. I think I could fall in love with him. Really in love."
"I note you didn’t mention the good doctor."
"Now that really would be rape."
Stev laughed. "Yeah, I guess it would."
"You didn’t answer my question."
"Ylana, I'm not sure what to tell you. You could always leave the ship and look for someone on one of the planets…"Ylana shook her head. "OK, I didn’t really think you'd go for that. I'll give you a suggestion if you promise not to tell Rob I made it or that we even had this discussion."
"I won’t say anything to Rob."
"I wouldn’t say this to an ordinary girl, but you've seen what men can be like when they don’t feel the need to act civilized. I doubt you'll be shocked. I can tell you that hardly any man can resist a naked woman in his bed. And if that isn’t enough by itself, a naked woman who is touching him intimately will pretty much seal the deal. Rob will try to resist, but I'm betting he won’t succeed."
"He won’t get mad?"
"If he does, he'll get over it real fast. Trust me."
"Thank you." Ylana kissed Stev on the forehead.
"Hey, I make no guarantees it'll work. And Ylana…"
"What, Stev?"
"Those problems aren't going to go away. It might work just the one time and not lead to a relationship. I don't want you to expect more than may be possible. He may not be ready to love somebody. I just don’t want you hurt if he doesn’t .."
She smiled wistfully at him. "Stev, I won’t ask for more than he can give. I have some experience of my own with internal demons. I do understand."
*****
It had been a long stressful day and Rob Michaels was exhausted. As he opened the hatch to his quarters, he was thinking that maybe he might just manage an uninterrupted sleep that night. For once, maybe, he wouldn’t have nightmares about the war. Exhaustion did that to a man which to his mind was fortunate. Otherwise he might never get any sleep to speak of.
"Lights, low. When the shipboard computer responded to his request, he was startled to find someone asleep on the bed. As his body was saying, "YES!!" the nice guy part of him was telling him it would be a bad idea to take advantage. His conscience reminded him that he had plenty of things to feel guilty about; he didn’t need to go adding another.
"Ylana." She woke and sat up in bed. As the covers slid off, Rob realized she was naked. He forced himself out of his sexual reverie. "What are you doing here?" Rob put some anger in his voice, hoping it would scare her away and he wouldn’t have to deal with his feelings.
It didn’t work. Ylana came to him and caressed his chest, he hand moving lower then stopping just short of his groin. Rob's body put his conscience on ignore and subtly pushed toward her.
"Why do you think?" she answered huskily. Then she kissed him deeply. Ylana could feel his desire as she pressed her body close. But he wasn't returning the kiss. She decided a more drastic approach was needed and following Stev's advice, her hand sought to undo Rob's pants.
"Don’t. Ylana. You aren’t obliged to do this. I don’t want you to feel that I expect you to…"
She cut in before he could finish. "I don’t feel obligated. Truly, I want this."
Abruptly Rob lost the battle with himself and gave into the inevitable. He reached out to her and pulled her into another long kiss. A kiss that was gentle and full of caring. No one had ever kissed Ylana like that and she didn’t want it to stop, not ever. His hands were exploring her body and her hands were exploring his. But it was a gentle exploration, not like the urgency she had felt with most men. It didn’t take Rob long to find the best way to give her pleasure. He didn’t seem at all concerned with his own pleasure, just with hers. Over and over, he took her to the brink of orgasm and beyond.
She wanted to give him as much in return, but suddenly felt shy. She knew every trick for pleasing a man there was, but this man wasn’t interested in tricks. She wasn’t sure if she knew how to have sex without the slave girl tricks; she only knew she had to try.
"Please Rob, I need to feel you inside me."
A slow smile crossed his face. " Well, I imagine that could be arranged."
As he entered her, she arched her hips up to meet him. Not because she would get beaten if she didn’t please him, but because she truly wanted to feel him in her as deep as he could go.
Everything about Ylana felt incredible to Rob. Her skin was so soft and she was so hot and wet and ready for him. He wanted it to last forever. They moved together in the ancient dance, savoring the sensations that coursed through them both, until he could hold off no longer and exploded in orgasm.
They lay together after, just savoring the closeness of their bodies and the feel of skin against skin. Rob stroked her hair; Ylana listened to the rhythm of his breathing.
"Ylana, I…" He didn’t finish the sentence, not sure exactly what to say.
"Rob. I always wondered what it was like if you wanted your partner. Thank you."
"You were amazing. I should be thanking you." He stroked her hair again. Rob's feelings were complicated. He was glad they had and yet he felt guilty for taking advantage and for some other things that he didn’t want to think about right then. He wanted to savor the moment and yet he was afraid where it would lead them. So he did the only thing he could think of to avoid confronting his feelings. He changed the subject. "Ylana…just why did you tell me to take off right away this afternoon?"
She giggled. "Sorry, I just wasn't expecting that. If we're going to talk seriously, may be we should get off the floor."
They had been planetside for six weeks now and Rob was getting antsy. He hated this place with its sanctimonious officials and the never-ending stream of official forms. Once they found a cargo and got off this rock, he was never coming back. But finding a cargo was the problem. Every cargo they had bid for the rights to ship had been given to someone else. And Rob knew those other carriers; he was sure some of them had not underbid him.
There had been problems before with his record as a former Rebel. But everywhere else they had been able to find someone to take a chance on him. There was always some cargo nobody else wanted. Not here though. It was almost as if people had been ordered not to give him their cargos.
Finances for GEM were always tight, but if they stayed much longer GEM was going to go broke. Docking fees were higher than normal here and had been raised twice since their arrival. And while the crew was willing to wait for their pay, they all still had to eat. And for some reason, provisioning seemed especially expensive her as well. At least they had plenty of fuel.
Rob considered his options. One more bid would be awarded today. Maybe they would win this one. But if they didn’t, it was time to leave without a cargo. If he was going to go broke, at least it wouldn’t be here.
*****
Stev headed to his boss's office, so they could go to the bid award meeting together. He really hoped they would win this one, so they could get out of this benighted system while some of the crew members were still talking to Rob.
He knew Rob was frustrated, but he had been exploding at the slightest excuse for two weeks now. Everyone on the crew except Ylana had complained to him about it and he was running out of excuses to give them. Truth be told, he was pretty peeved at Rob himself. And if this wasn't such a miserable excuse for a planet, they might have somewhat fewer crew members. The crew were that mad. If they didn’t win this bid and get out of here, Stev was going to have to confront Rob about his behavior and wouldn’t that be fun?
As he rounded a corner, Stev got smacked in the chest with a purple football. Combat-trained reflexes kicked in and he drew his gun and aimed at the threat before his brain recognized the two teenagers in front of him. Brian's eyes widened in fear at the sight of the gun aimed at his heart. Ian screamed, "Don’t shoot!" and ran up the passageway toward his twin.
Even as Stev recognized them as crew and started to put his gun away, Brian fell to his knees, crying and begging Stev not to kill him. Stev had always thought the kid was a bit overly dramatic, but this was ridiculous.
The hatch to Rob's office slid open.
"What in the hell is going on out here?"
Everyone froze. Nobody spoke up.
"Well?" Rob glared at all three of them.
Ian exchanged a glance with his brother and decided that Brian was too upset to explain. It was up to him then. He took a deep breath.
"Captain, it was all our fault. We were tossing a football around and Brian missed his catch just as Stev came around the corner and it hit him in the chest. It must have startled him, because he drew his gun."
"Of all the hair-brained, stupid… Stev has ten years of combat experience and 20 years of martial arts training. He's damned dangerous to startle. And why the hell aren’t you working anyway? You aren’t on a God-damned pleasure cruise. If you won’t work, you can God-dammed well get off my…"
"Rob, chill." Stev spoke quietly but firmly. Rob stopped in mid-rant, glaring at Stev.
"You keep out of this."
"No." Stev glared back. The boys exchanged another glance and simultaneously started to move out of the line of fire. Clearly they thought the battle between the irresistible force and the immovable object was about to begin and the didn’t want to be collateral damage.
"For Christ sake, Rob. I gave them the damn afternoon off. It's not like we're all that busy right now anyway." That wasn't really true, but Stev wasn't going to let Rob know that. "And you know what Val says about teenagers. She says its their job to do reckless and stupid things. Do I have to remind you of some of the stupid things she says you did at that age?"
Rob glared and boys backed further away.
"Hell, I think finding themselves facing the business end of a gun is punishment enough. Leave it be, Rob."
"It's my God-damned ship and I don’t need your advice. You two are confined to quarters til I say different. Say another word, Stev, and you'll be joining them."
"Rob." The anger in Stev's voice was chilling. The boys were frankly staring. They had never seen him get so coldly angry.
"That's it. go to your quarters and I don’t want to see you again until we land somewhere else."
Stev glared and stood his ground; he hadn’t become the best pilot in the Rebellion by backing up.
"When I took this job, what did you tell me my duties as First Officer were?"
"You know damn well what I said then. Your duties are to keep the damn ship running smoothly, to handle crew problems, to give Sara combat pilot training…" Rob's voice trailed off as he remembered the final duty he had assigned.
"And to tell the Captain when he's being an idiot." Steve finished the statement for Rob. "So, Captain, the crew has a problem and you're being an idiot, SIR."
The twins faded out of sight fast, figuring that it might be better if Rob thought they hadn't heard that.
Rob knew Stev was right. He was behaving badly - overreacting to things he would normally laugh off. "Shit, Stev. We've got to get off this rock before I explode."
"No, we have to get off this rock while you still have a crew."
"That bad." Rob sighed. "You're right, I know my behavior hasn't been ... So what do I need to do?"
"Well first we need to leave this place with or without a cargo."
"OK, I promise that if we win the bid, we stay only long enough to load up and if we don’t we'll be gone by tomorrow. I had about decided that myself already. Go on."
"You need to sit down with every single member of the crew and apologize. All of them but Ylana have complained and you know that she wouldn’t no matter what you said to her, so you probably better apologize to her too, just on general principles. And maybe you should ask each of them what they need to make up for what ever they think you did."
Rob cringed at the thought of personally apologizing to the good doctor. Well at least everybody else would be gracious about it. More gracious than he probably deserved.
"OK, I'll do that once we get underway. Anything else?"
"The sooner the better Rob. I wouldn’t wait til we leave. And yeah there is one other thing. Or were you intending to leave me and the twins confined to quarters?"
Rob reached for the ship com and punched in the code for the twins quarters. "Rob here, I was behaving like a jerk and you aren’t actually confined to quarters. Just don’t play football outside my office anymore."
He turned to Stev. "OK, Stev, you aren’t confined to quarters and I apologize. good enough?"
"Hell I wasn't planning to go to my room like a good little boy anyway. If we are gonna attend this bid award meeting, I guess we'd better get our asses in gear."
*****
As Rob and Stev crossed the cargo bay, Ylana came hurrying in from outside. It was raining pretty hard out there and her clothes were soaked. Rob usually tried to be subtle about appreciating the female figure of women he had no intention of bedding, but he couldn’t help but stare at the way her shirt was plastered against her chest. Rob had seen her naked when they first met, but somehow this was far sexier. He heard Stev's respiration increase and knew he wasn't the only one who found the sight arresting.
"Rob, do you trust me?" Ylana's soft voice startled him out of his sexual fantasy.
Still somewhat bemused, he replied, "Sure." before her tone really sank in. His eyes traveled from her chest to her face. The fear in her expression slammed into his consciousness. "What's wrong," he asked rather sharply.
"Rob, take off now. I'll explain once we get out of here. But if you trust me at all, get off this planet as fast as possible."
Rob looked into her eyes and saw that she was dead serious. He went to the Ship Com and punched in the all ship code.
"Kate, start up the engines. Sara, we're taking off as soon as we can. call the port and … uh…let's see…declare a Class One emergency. Tell that we…uh.. found a bomb in a routine maintenance check and unless they want a big hole in the port facilities in 17 minutes, they had better clear the traffic lanes and let us take off now. Everyone else, secure for emergency takeoff. Rob, out."
Stev, meanwhile closed and locked the cargo bay doors. He looked at Ylana standing there dripping wet and took off his shirt.
"Here, you seem…uh…cold. And I'm feeling kind of…uh…warm, so put this on. There's no time to go to your quarters to change before we take off."
"Thanks." Ylana stripped off her wet shirt and she wasn't wearing any underwear. The men both tried not to look, but like magnets, her hard nipples drew their gazes. She put on the shirt and they all sat down and strapped in for take-off. No one said anything. The men were trying to pretend they weren't aroused and Ylana was secretly amused at their reaction.
After a couple of minutes the acceleration eased off and they could move around the ship again. Rob got up to and headed towards the bridge.
"Don’t you want to hear my explanation, Rob?"
"In a little while. I want to make sure we get out of this system safely first." On that note, Rob disappeared through the hatch.
"Ylana." She turned to look at Stev. "Everybody on the crew trusts you. Well, except maybe Doctor Slimeball. It's not really important to hear the explanation. You would never ask Rob to do something if it wasn't important. You're still cold; you ought to go change."
"How did you know?" Stev pointed. Ylana looked down. "Oh. I'll bring your shirt back in a few minutes."
*****
"Stev."
He looked up from cleaning up the mess in his office caused by the emergency takeoff.
"Here's your shirt. Thanks for letting me have it."
"That's OK."
Ylana stood there, not speaking and sort of fidgeting.
"Something bothering you?"
"Stev, can I ask you something?"
"Ask away. Can’t guarantee I'll have an answer, but you can ask anything."
"Why does Rob…how come I'm…"
"Hard to answer when you don’t finish the question. Come on Ylana, I don’t bite, so spit it out."
Ylana blushed. "It's just that it's kind of an awkward question. Maybe I shouldn’t even bring it up."
Stev caught her eye. "Ylana."
His steady gaze gave her confidence. "How come Rob finds me so unattractive?"
Stev sighed. He often wondered why he seemed to attract these types of questions. Why didn’t she ask Rob? Well he knew why actually, but he wanted to rant internally a bit because this wouldn’t be easy to explain.
"Perhaps you aren’t remembering the look on his face a few minutes ago when you came in soaking wet? He seemed to find you plenty attractive then."
"But he won’t…I mean he never asks me to…And I really...Stevvv." A few tears rolled down her face.
Stev handed her a tissue. "Sit down, this is kind of complicated." He rolled several ways of explaining around in his head. It wasn't so much that it was difficult to explain. but that it was difficult to explain without bringing up things Rob had told him in confidence.
"Look I'm sure Rob thinks you are attractive. And I'm sure he likes you. But, honestly, if you're asking me if he's ever going to make a pass at you, I'd have to say it's unlikely."
"But why not? Is it because so many other men have…"
"No or at least not directly. Rob doesn't like slavery as I'm sure you know. He knows the only sex you've had was rape and he also knows that you feel beholden to him, so you would probably say yes to him no matter what you felt. In that way, I'd say he'd feel a bit like it was rape for him to..."
"But it wouldn’t be like that at all. Rob's nothing like those other men who owned me. I wouldn’t be afraid of him or even indifferent. It certainly wouldn’t be rape. Any way, after awhile it stopped being rape, just one more duty. I'm not in the least afraid of sex. Hell it was usually the easiest duty I had. And it would be nice to do it with someone who cared about me and that I cared about."
"That's not all. Ylana, if he had met you before the war, I mean if you were an adult before the war, then he would have probably found a nice quiet corner and spent some quality time pleasuring you. From all accounts, he was pretty wild before the war. War changes a man though. I know you've seen some bad things as a result of the war, but Ylana, bad as your treatment was it can’t even come close to the kind of bad Rob experienced in the war."
"I don’t exactly know how to say this. I was a pilot in the war. I saw a lot of injured people and a lot of my friends died. But I wasn't in charge. People didn’t die because of my orders. But Rob, he was a ground pounder. War is a lot more personal for them. They see the people they kill as well as their own casualties. The smell of death and destruction is in the air."
"And Rob was a platoon leader. He had to order people in to the fight knowing that they would get killed. And sometimes he had to pass on and obey orders that, well, let's just say that he had to do some things he wouldn’t ever consider doing. And to add to all that he was a POW for 2 years. Some really bad stuff happens to POWs, a lot like what happens to slaves. So Rob has some demons that haunt him. I've a pretty good idea of what they are, but if Rob wanted you to know about them, he'd tell you himself."
"So it's not you, Ylana. He's just not looking for a relationship. He may never go looking for one again. Hell he hardly ever even goes to a whore for relief. Or hadn’t you noticed that in the time you've been on board?"
"So what do I do, Stev? It's not like there are a lot of men to choose from here. You're taken, Joam's not attracted to women, Gelb isn’t even human. That leaves Rob. And I really like Rob. Not just because of what he's done for me, but because he's a good decent person whose company I enjoy. I think I could fall in love with him. Really in love."
"I note you didn’t mention the good doctor."
"Now that really would be rape."
Stev laughed. "Yeah, I guess it would."
"You didn’t answer my question."
"Ylana, I'm not sure what to tell you. You could always leave the ship and look for someone on one of the planets…"Ylana shook her head. "OK, I didn’t really think you'd go for that. I'll give you a suggestion if you promise not to tell Rob I made it or that we even had this discussion."
"I won’t say anything to Rob."
"I wouldn’t say this to an ordinary girl, but you've seen what men can be like when they don’t feel the need to act civilized. I doubt you'll be shocked. I can tell you that hardly any man can resist a naked woman in his bed. And if that isn’t enough by itself, a naked woman who is touching him intimately will pretty much seal the deal. Rob will try to resist, but I'm betting he won’t succeed."
"He won’t get mad?"
"If he does, he'll get over it real fast. Trust me."
"Thank you." Ylana kissed Stev on the forehead.
"Hey, I make no guarantees it'll work. And Ylana…"
"What, Stev?"
"Those problems aren't going to go away. It might work just the one time and not lead to a relationship. I don't want you to expect more than may be possible. He may not be ready to love somebody. I just don’t want you hurt if he doesn’t .."
She smiled wistfully at him. "Stev, I won’t ask for more than he can give. I have some experience of my own with internal demons. I do understand."
*****
It had been a long stressful day and Rob Michaels was exhausted. As he opened the hatch to his quarters, he was thinking that maybe he might just manage an uninterrupted sleep that night. For once, maybe, he wouldn’t have nightmares about the war. Exhaustion did that to a man which to his mind was fortunate. Otherwise he might never get any sleep to speak of.
"Lights, low. When the shipboard computer responded to his request, he was startled to find someone asleep on the bed. As his body was saying, "YES!!" the nice guy part of him was telling him it would be a bad idea to take advantage. His conscience reminded him that he had plenty of things to feel guilty about; he didn’t need to go adding another.
"Ylana." She woke and sat up in bed. As the covers slid off, Rob realized she was naked. He forced himself out of his sexual reverie. "What are you doing here?" Rob put some anger in his voice, hoping it would scare her away and he wouldn’t have to deal with his feelings.
It didn’t work. Ylana came to him and caressed his chest, he hand moving lower then stopping just short of his groin. Rob's body put his conscience on ignore and subtly pushed toward her.
"Why do you think?" she answered huskily. Then she kissed him deeply. Ylana could feel his desire as she pressed her body close. But he wasn't returning the kiss. She decided a more drastic approach was needed and following Stev's advice, her hand sought to undo Rob's pants.
"Don’t. Ylana. You aren’t obliged to do this. I don’t want you to feel that I expect you to…"
She cut in before he could finish. "I don’t feel obligated. Truly, I want this."
Abruptly Rob lost the battle with himself and gave into the inevitable. He reached out to her and pulled her into another long kiss. A kiss that was gentle and full of caring. No one had ever kissed Ylana like that and she didn’t want it to stop, not ever. His hands were exploring her body and her hands were exploring his. But it was a gentle exploration, not like the urgency she had felt with most men. It didn’t take Rob long to find the best way to give her pleasure. He didn’t seem at all concerned with his own pleasure, just with hers. Over and over, he took her to the brink of orgasm and beyond.
She wanted to give him as much in return, but suddenly felt shy. She knew every trick for pleasing a man there was, but this man wasn’t interested in tricks. She wasn’t sure if she knew how to have sex without the slave girl tricks; she only knew she had to try.
"Please Rob, I need to feel you inside me."
A slow smile crossed his face. " Well, I imagine that could be arranged."
As he entered her, she arched her hips up to meet him. Not because she would get beaten if she didn’t please him, but because she truly wanted to feel him in her as deep as he could go.
Everything about Ylana felt incredible to Rob. Her skin was so soft and she was so hot and wet and ready for him. He wanted it to last forever. They moved together in the ancient dance, savoring the sensations that coursed through them both, until he could hold off no longer and exploded in orgasm.
They lay together after, just savoring the closeness of their bodies and the feel of skin against skin. Rob stroked her hair; Ylana listened to the rhythm of his breathing.
"Ylana, I…" He didn’t finish the sentence, not sure exactly what to say.
"Rob. I always wondered what it was like if you wanted your partner. Thank you."
"You were amazing. I should be thanking you." He stroked her hair again. Rob's feelings were complicated. He was glad they had and yet he felt guilty for taking advantage and for some other things that he didn’t want to think about right then. He wanted to savor the moment and yet he was afraid where it would lead them. So he did the only thing he could think of to avoid confronting his feelings. He changed the subject. "Ylana…just why did you tell me to take off right away this afternoon?"
She giggled. "Sorry, I just wasn't expecting that. If we're going to talk seriously, may be we should get off the floor."