The Invisible Woman
I am sick and tired of being the “invisible friend.” I have never been part of a clique. All throughout my life I hung out with miscellaneous people or individual members of the different cliques. I was never ‘accepted’ into any of these cliques. The ironic part is that I was always the person who did not belong to the clique, but I knew some of the individuals better than anyone else. They could tell me things that they could never tell any of their so-called friends, the people they hung out with in their cliques. I know that this is the way things should be because having close friends who you can really trust is what is important. I know that I am not an exclusive person. I do not exclude anyone. I tend to hang out with all of the misfits and loners. I see the good person in them. Yet, for once I want to feel as though I belong. I get really disturbed when these supposedly close-friends of mine are with their big cliquey groups and then they treat me as though I’m invisible and just ignore me, even though I know them better than any of the people they hang out with. I am so sensitive to this especially because of my family situation. I do not come from a loving household. My family creates most of my life problems. So when I feel like I’m being excluded from certain groups I really feel like complete shit. I really feel all alone in this world. This is when I say to myself. Okay, I don’t have a family. Do I not have friends? If I don’t have friends, then I don’t have anything at all. I’m all alone.