floating around in this existence
okay, I can't get a grip on myself this semester. I don't know; I don't understand what is going on with me. I feel like I am not really participating in my life ever since the beginning of this semester. I just . . . ahhhh, i really don't know. It's not something I can explain.
I'm sitting in class right now. I know I didn't finish the reading. But maybe it's just the fact that I have done everything this semester half-heartedly. It's like I don't belong here. I don't feel like I belong in my classes. I don't feel like I belong at school. I feel like I should not even presume to call myself a student. It's as if all I'm really here for is to be living on campus. It's like I have no purpose or no point in being here. I am wasting time and money.
Now that sounds shallow.
I'm completely lost at this point, in case it's not obvious.
I think it's time for me to get serious. I think I am scared. I don't even think anymore. I just float around in this existence waiting to get kicked in the behind, waiting to experience something riveting and intense that will keep me from coming back to my vomit.
I can't understand why I haven't learned by now.
It's all my fault anyways.
If I really wanted to find my purpose I would be praying on it.
I'm sitting in class right now. I know I didn't finish the reading. But maybe it's just the fact that I have done everything this semester half-heartedly. It's like I don't belong here. I don't feel like I belong in my classes. I don't feel like I belong at school. I feel like I should not even presume to call myself a student. It's as if all I'm really here for is to be living on campus. It's like I have no purpose or no point in being here. I am wasting time and money.
Now that sounds shallow.
I'm completely lost at this point, in case it's not obvious.
I think it's time for me to get serious. I think I am scared. I don't even think anymore. I just float around in this existence waiting to get kicked in the behind, waiting to experience something riveting and intense that will keep me from coming back to my vomit.
I can't understand why I haven't learned by now.
It's all my fault anyways.
If I really wanted to find my purpose I would be praying on it.