things to post about later
Hi! I'm not dead. I've actually been here the whole time. Well, not every minute of every day, but I haven't skipped over anything, so far as I know. Just not very talkative for the last... month. And a half.
o__O
Obviously, I have a backlog of post topics that I should probably get to. Such as:
- Bluesfest. The numbers are in - it's officially the biggest music festival in the world! Over 400,000 people went! And you still probably didn't hear anything about it, so I'll tell ya.
- So You Think You Can Dance, which is somehow full of extra fail and extra win at the same time this season. I have such hatred and glee, both.
- My continuing struggle with writer's block, which will make my whedonland Heart of Gold assignment freakin' difficult. How do you write funny Dollhouse fic? Anyone? Funny and Dollhouse just don't fit together in my brain.
And that's about all I can think of for the day. I saw people doing this Go to google and type "you know you're from [your state] when... and bold the ones that apply." meme, and I tried googling Gatineau (just one sad Facebook group about kids doing crack), Quebec (even fewer results) and Ottawa (most entries either incomprehensible to me or demeaning to Gatineau, where I actually live), so instead, I give you:
You know you're from Toronto when:
A really great parking spot can move you to tears.
I don't even drive, but I have rushed out of cars and stood in jumping-jack position to save a great spot for someone.
You can recommend about 3 good body piercing parlours.
Words like SARS don't scare you.
And the bands I was supposed to see who canceled their concerts during that time period can bite me.
You went to get your first cell phone and thought they were giving you a Barrie number when the area code was 647, NOT 416
I NEVER had a 647 number. This is a total point of pride and you're allowed (and expected) to brag about it.
You realize there are far more rainbow flags in the city than Canadian Flags.
When the temperature rises above zero degrees, you yell "Woohooo! Patio weather!"
You were sad the day McDonalds announced it would stop serving Pizza (they only did it in Toronto)
Whoever wrote this is a moron. EVERYONE (in Ottawa) knows that Ottawa is the McDonalds' testing ground for Canada, and Canada is the testing ground for the world. Ottawa McD's had the pizza way longer, and has also had all kinds of other weird things come and go from their menu.
You know what phone numbers like 967-1111 mean.
... and have passed on the urban legend about the guy who forgot his ID at the border but got back into Canada by singing the Pizza Pizza jingle.
You've almost been shot or robbed at a Coffee Time.
No, but. Coffee Time is the SCARIEST. OMG.
You wish to see the day the Leafs will win their first cup since 1967.
You know Yonge St. is the longest street in the world.
Well, sure, if you want to go to *North Bay* :P
The TTC is your main method of transportation.
You bank at TD.
You know who Zanta is.
Awww, Zanta! Is he still around? Not dead of hypothermia yet? How are his sexy muscles doing?
You've had a 13 year old squeegee your car.
You carry $10 worth of quarters when you go clubbing just to tip one to each homeless guy you see that night downtown.
You went clubbing downtown, you were pulled over by a cop on a horse.
You're proud great actors like Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, and John Candy are from your hometown.
Well, sure, except most of those guys are actually from SCARBERIA D:
You're proud to not only be the Holy City of Hockey, but house the Hockey Hall of Fame.
You remember the Eaton's Company.
And am forever in mourning for the green Jell-o from the restaurant on the top floor of the Eaton Centre Eaton's.
You see your former mayor on TV in an old-fashionned prison jump suit trying to sell you a discount-priced sofa.
Oh, Mel. So beloved by your people.
Oliver Jeweller PAYS COLD HARD CASH for your gold and diamonds.
Scratch Coffee Time, I would run to Coffee Time to escape this guy.
You're guaranteed to know at least one person on every episode of Speaker's Corner.
No, but I've seen Stephen Baldwin on there at least twice. Dude is obsessed.
You haven't been to the CN Tower since you were six, but still have nightmares about that damn turbo elevator.
Never been, ever.
You've had at least 3 bicycles stolen in the past 10 years.
You've fantasized about having sex in Casa Loma.
At least 3 of your friends have moved to Vancouver.
You turn your nose up at any establishment frequented by the S&M crowd. (Scarborough and Mississauga).
You never, never, never swim in the lake.
You know "The Beaches" are really called "The Beach", but still say "The Beaches" just to annoy all the nitwits who live there.
Ahahaha, yes. It pisses off the yuppies.
You can say "world's tallest freestanding structure" ten times fast.
You know the correct answer to "Where do shopping carts go to die?" is "The Don River"
You speak better Chinese than French.
You remember the big blackout.
I went walking by Mount Pleasant Cemetery with
nafs that night. Why did we DO that? D:
The word "Cabbagetown" doesn't strike you as particularly amusing.
I used to live there! Well, close enough that that's what I told people when I wanted to sound respectable. I actually lived in St-Jamestown, aka the most populated city block in Canada. But people are too afraid of St-Jamestown for anyone to admit they live there.
Castle Frank subway station remains one of the great mysteries of the universe for you.
Seriously, I even used it as my main station for 5 years and I still recognize how useless it is. You can just as easily walk to Sherbourne. WTF.
You know what the bathrooms in the First Canadian Place are REALLY for.
I'm sure it's something illicit - but more importantly: who's seen "bathrooms" in the financial district that come with handprint/fingerprint identifying locks on the doors? Me!
You don't know where Fort York is, but have a vague recollection of being there in a past life.
I hear it's historic.
You know the Demic's song "I Wanna Go To New York City" was intended as sarcasm, not a weekend getaway suggestion.
You know where to find Dim Sum, Sushi, Curry, Pad Thai and a dildo at 3 am on a weeknight.
Yuuup. I also know to order "cold tea" after last call, baby.
For the last time, it's pronounced 'TRONNA'!
You consider eye contact a sign of hostility and an invasion of your privacy.
It takes you half an hour to get to work by TTC and you are the envy of all your friends.
Half an hour exactly, from leaving the house to entering work - and I took a subway and a bus!
You mourned the death of the Spadina Bus.
Nope, because I've only ever lived East of Yonge. People who live West of Yonge are completely alien creatures to me.
You know someone who went to high school with at least one member of The Barenaked Ladies or RUSH.
You know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone who knows you.
And one of those someones is invariably named Mike Wood.
You laugh heartily at people who refer to highway four hundred and one.
Yeah... nobody does that.
You've taken the vomit comit.
And witnessed the vomit part. Oh, yes.
You can maneuver your bike across Queen st. without getting caught in the streetcar tracks.
You can name at least three locations of The Beer Store that are open till 11 PM.
I hate the Beer Store. The whole counter thing intimidates me.
You know where to buy alcohol on a statutory holiday.
That magic LCBO under the overpass! I hear tinkly music whenever I see it!
You have NEVER been to the Hard Rock Cafe.
You've partied with at least one of the members of The Kids in the Hall.
Your 905 friends think it's crazy that you're in your 20s and don't drive or own a car.
Better yet, 905 customers would call for driving directions to my store and we would all look blankly at each other. Driving? What's that? Also, see next entry:
You can never figure out the difference between Malton and Milton, Brampton and Brantford, Ajax and Aurora, Willowdale and Whitby. They are all far, far away.
You try to pass off a dime as a TTC token when you think the subway man isn't watching.
Some random person on the TTC tries to make some form of communication with you
If by "communication" you mean "show me his penis", then yes, all the time!
When the sound of construction outside your window can put you to sleep.
During the World Cup, you don't feel like you live in Canada anymore.
I missed Toronto SO MUCH during the World Cup this year.
You know to transfer at St. George instead of Spadina, even if that seems longer on the little map.
Spadina Station was designed by SADISTS. Brown brick-loving SADISTS.
When you're watching a movie and can name the place in the scene and have a story to go with it...
I once counted 14 shoots in one year, on my block alone. Off the top of my head, I remember Breach, the 50-Cent biopic (whatever that was called - Get Rich or Die Trying, maybe?), the pilot of Fringe, The Time Traveller's Wife, 2 ABC Family tv-movies (highest production value EVAR), something with Eva Longoria, something else with Angelina Jolie (I can't remember what it was, but I remember joking about finding her trailer)... oh, and remember when the drug bust goes bad in the apartment building at the beginning of the Assault On Precinct 13 remake, and Ethan Hawke's partner gets shot behind some dumpsters? Yeah, I could see that building and those dumpsters from my bedroom window! It seemed like every couple of weeks, I would come home to a letter telling me to expect "special effects gunfire" and not to call the cops.
ATM machines have instructions written in English and Chinese.
Every time you go downtown, you see a bunch of a crazy brides in a limo
OMG, YES. Limos everywhere. And, once, a limo crammed with hot chicks, one of whom stuck her head out the sunroof and yelled, "Ben Kingsley's in the car!" which was pretty much the most hilarious thing ever.
... I miss my town.
crossposted from
sugar |
comments | add comment | permalink
o__O
Obviously, I have a backlog of post topics that I should probably get to. Such as:
- Bluesfest. The numbers are in - it's officially the biggest music festival in the world! Over 400,000 people went! And you still probably didn't hear anything about it, so I'll tell ya.
- So You Think You Can Dance, which is somehow full of extra fail and extra win at the same time this season. I have such hatred and glee, both.
- My continuing struggle with writer's block, which will make my whedonland Heart of Gold assignment freakin' difficult. How do you write funny Dollhouse fic? Anyone? Funny and Dollhouse just don't fit together in my brain.
And that's about all I can think of for the day. I saw people doing this Go to google and type "you know you're from [your state] when... and bold the ones that apply." meme, and I tried googling Gatineau (just one sad Facebook group about kids doing crack), Quebec (even fewer results) and Ottawa (most entries either incomprehensible to me or demeaning to Gatineau, where I actually live), so instead, I give you:
You know you're from Toronto when:
A really great parking spot can move you to tears.
I don't even drive, but I have rushed out of cars and stood in jumping-jack position to save a great spot for someone.
You can recommend about 3 good body piercing parlours.
Words like SARS don't scare you.
And the bands I was supposed to see who canceled their concerts during that time period can bite me.
You went to get your first cell phone and thought they were giving you a Barrie number when the area code was 647, NOT 416
I NEVER had a 647 number. This is a total point of pride and you're allowed (and expected) to brag about it.
You realize there are far more rainbow flags in the city than Canadian Flags.
When the temperature rises above zero degrees, you yell "Woohooo! Patio weather!"
You were sad the day McDonalds announced it would stop serving Pizza (they only did it in Toronto)
Whoever wrote this is a moron. EVERYONE (in Ottawa) knows that Ottawa is the McDonalds' testing ground for Canada, and Canada is the testing ground for the world. Ottawa McD's had the pizza way longer, and has also had all kinds of other weird things come and go from their menu.
You know what phone numbers like 967-1111 mean.
... and have passed on the urban legend about the guy who forgot his ID at the border but got back into Canada by singing the Pizza Pizza jingle.
You've almost been shot or robbed at a Coffee Time.
No, but. Coffee Time is the SCARIEST. OMG.
You wish to see the day the Leafs will win their first cup since 1967.
You know Yonge St. is the longest street in the world.
Well, sure, if you want to go to *North Bay* :P
The TTC is your main method of transportation.
You bank at TD.
You know who Zanta is.
Awww, Zanta! Is he still around? Not dead of hypothermia yet? How are his sexy muscles doing?
You've had a 13 year old squeegee your car.
You carry $10 worth of quarters when you go clubbing just to tip one to each homeless guy you see that night downtown.
You went clubbing downtown, you were pulled over by a cop on a horse.
You're proud great actors like Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, and John Candy are from your hometown.
Well, sure, except most of those guys are actually from SCARBERIA D:
You're proud to not only be the Holy City of Hockey, but house the Hockey Hall of Fame.
You remember the Eaton's Company.
And am forever in mourning for the green Jell-o from the restaurant on the top floor of the Eaton Centre Eaton's.
You see your former mayor on TV in an old-fashionned prison jump suit trying to sell you a discount-priced sofa.
Oh, Mel. So beloved by your people.
Oliver Jeweller PAYS COLD HARD CASH for your gold and diamonds.
Scratch Coffee Time, I would run to Coffee Time to escape this guy.
You're guaranteed to know at least one person on every episode of Speaker's Corner.
No, but I've seen Stephen Baldwin on there at least twice. Dude is obsessed.
You haven't been to the CN Tower since you were six, but still have nightmares about that damn turbo elevator.
Never been, ever.
You've had at least 3 bicycles stolen in the past 10 years.
You've fantasized about having sex in Casa Loma.
At least 3 of your friends have moved to Vancouver.
You turn your nose up at any establishment frequented by the S&M crowd. (Scarborough and Mississauga).
You never, never, never swim in the lake.
You know "The Beaches" are really called "The Beach", but still say "The Beaches" just to annoy all the nitwits who live there.
Ahahaha, yes. It pisses off the yuppies.
You can say "world's tallest freestanding structure" ten times fast.
You know the correct answer to "Where do shopping carts go to die?" is "The Don River"
You speak better Chinese than French.
You remember the big blackout.
I went walking by Mount Pleasant Cemetery with
nafs that night. Why did we DO that? D:
The word "Cabbagetown" doesn't strike you as particularly amusing.
I used to live there! Well, close enough that that's what I told people when I wanted to sound respectable. I actually lived in St-Jamestown, aka the most populated city block in Canada. But people are too afraid of St-Jamestown for anyone to admit they live there.
Castle Frank subway station remains one of the great mysteries of the universe for you.
Seriously, I even used it as my main station for 5 years and I still recognize how useless it is. You can just as easily walk to Sherbourne. WTF.
You know what the bathrooms in the First Canadian Place are REALLY for.
I'm sure it's something illicit - but more importantly: who's seen "bathrooms" in the financial district that come with handprint/fingerprint identifying locks on the doors? Me!
You don't know where Fort York is, but have a vague recollection of being there in a past life.
I hear it's historic.
You know the Demic's song "I Wanna Go To New York City" was intended as sarcasm, not a weekend getaway suggestion.
You know where to find Dim Sum, Sushi, Curry, Pad Thai and a dildo at 3 am on a weeknight.
Yuuup. I also know to order "cold tea" after last call, baby.
For the last time, it's pronounced 'TRONNA'!
You consider eye contact a sign of hostility and an invasion of your privacy.
It takes you half an hour to get to work by TTC and you are the envy of all your friends.
Half an hour exactly, from leaving the house to entering work - and I took a subway and a bus!
You mourned the death of the Spadina Bus.
Nope, because I've only ever lived East of Yonge. People who live West of Yonge are completely alien creatures to me.
You know someone who went to high school with at least one member of The Barenaked Ladies or RUSH.
You know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone who knows you.
And one of those someones is invariably named Mike Wood.
You laugh heartily at people who refer to highway four hundred and one.
Yeah... nobody does that.
You've taken the vomit comit.
And witnessed the vomit part. Oh, yes.
You can maneuver your bike across Queen st. without getting caught in the streetcar tracks.
You can name at least three locations of The Beer Store that are open till 11 PM.
I hate the Beer Store. The whole counter thing intimidates me.
You know where to buy alcohol on a statutory holiday.
That magic LCBO under the overpass! I hear tinkly music whenever I see it!
You have NEVER been to the Hard Rock Cafe.
You've partied with at least one of the members of The Kids in the Hall.
Your 905 friends think it's crazy that you're in your 20s and don't drive or own a car.
Better yet, 905 customers would call for driving directions to my store and we would all look blankly at each other. Driving? What's that? Also, see next entry:
You can never figure out the difference between Malton and Milton, Brampton and Brantford, Ajax and Aurora, Willowdale and Whitby. They are all far, far away.
You try to pass off a dime as a TTC token when you think the subway man isn't watching.
Some random person on the TTC tries to make some form of communication with you
If by "communication" you mean "show me his penis", then yes, all the time!
When the sound of construction outside your window can put you to sleep.
During the World Cup, you don't feel like you live in Canada anymore.
I missed Toronto SO MUCH during the World Cup this year.
You know to transfer at St. George instead of Spadina, even if that seems longer on the little map.
Spadina Station was designed by SADISTS. Brown brick-loving SADISTS.
When you're watching a movie and can name the place in the scene and have a story to go with it...
I once counted 14 shoots in one year, on my block alone. Off the top of my head, I remember Breach, the 50-Cent biopic (whatever that was called - Get Rich or Die Trying, maybe?), the pilot of Fringe, The Time Traveller's Wife, 2 ABC Family tv-movies (highest production value EVAR), something with Eva Longoria, something else with Angelina Jolie (I can't remember what it was, but I remember joking about finding her trailer)... oh, and remember when the drug bust goes bad in the apartment building at the beginning of the Assault On Precinct 13 remake, and Ethan Hawke's partner gets shot behind some dumpsters? Yeah, I could see that building and those dumpsters from my bedroom window! It seemed like every couple of weeks, I would come home to a letter telling me to expect "special effects gunfire" and not to call the cops.
ATM machines have instructions written in English and Chinese.
Every time you go downtown, you see a bunch of a crazy brides in a limo
OMG, YES. Limos everywhere. And, once, a limo crammed with hot chicks, one of whom stuck her head out the sunroof and yelled, "Ben Kingsley's in the car!" which was pretty much the most hilarious thing ever.
... I miss my town.
crossposted from
sugar |
comments | add comment | permalink