I'm all about the latest fashions, as you know.
That was... interesting. It's a relief after last week to have so much material to mock, I'll tell you that much! I don't even know where to start. So let's just cue the episode and roll with it.
So Jeremy Davies is a giant crybaby. BIG SURPRISE. All right, I don't know why he's my default punching bag now, but just go with it, okay? He's kinda nervous and twitchy and an extremely easy target.
Zoe Bell was in the credits and then appeared NOWHERE in the episode. I feel deeply unfulfilled.
Boat Guy: "Am I on speakerphone?"
Dan: "No, it's cool. What are you wearing?"
You know, Sawyer kinda fails at following Locke. They all do, really. It's comforting.
Okay, Jack, how shocking is it that Daniel would have a gun? All of you are fucking crazy! If I was going to some island and I knew you were gonna be there, I would bring a damn gun. Because you're crazy! Crazy in the past, crazy in the future - crazy all the time, Jack. Accept it, move on.
So then we find out how Locke's daddy saved his life by stealin his organz. OH THE IRONY.
Can I just say? Daniel is totally on the cutting edge of fashion with his vest and his skinny tie. You know it. Just the other day this guy asked me if he could pull all of his old eighties vests out of his closet because they're supposedly back in style. It's cause he's from tha futcha!
Speaking of - where the hell is Desmond? Off shooting Jesus II: Son of Jesus?
I'm sure I'm not the first one to point both these things out, but: first of all - the location stamps. First time we ever get them, no idea what purpose they're serving, of course. Second, and much more interesting - the picture frames, y'all. Did you see? In the stairway? They change! I've read a few theories, but I'd like to hear yours.
Oh, and let's not forget the inherent weirdness of Miles, snarky dustbusting, drugbusting ghostbuster to the stars. I just... I'm going to have to start leaving him out of my recaps if even just referring to him makes me sound like this much of a lunatic.
Awww, the boaties have their own version of funkytown. A little easier to work into conversation, too. How cute.
And then Sawyer uses roughing up Ben as a substitute for physical intimacy with Jack, who was just pounding the same flesh not two hours earlier. How transparent.
I like how weak their argument is about Benry, too:
"Let's kill him!"
"Uh, not in front of his daughter."
*five minutes go by, very little changes*
"Fuck it, let's kill him!"
So apparently Jack winks at Kate? I couldn't figure out why I didn't notice it the first time. Or the second time. I finally rewound it, and look - it's fucking creepy, alright? I was happier not seeing that shit.
So then, uh. Polar bear with a Medusa collar. Whut. That chick from the Golden Compass sure did venture far from home, eh?
Is it just me or is this Charlotte woman just a little too, um. High on life? She's like a kid in a plastic bubble who just got let out for the first time. arabella_hope said it made her sad how guarded and scared our people are, and I have to agree. They're, like, half-wild, all staring at her gun. Unsettling.
(Okay, seriously where is Zoe Bell?? Are the gremlins who live in my TV just screwing with me because it's easy?)
Oh, I've also read a theory about this other dead body of the captain. What do y'all think? Is it mustache!Greg's body? I mostly believe it's a fake, but a little part of me is saying that that's the body of Captain Hippie down in the wreckage, from some parallel universe where he actually was flying the plane - and Daniel was on it, possibly. You think? I sort of hate how exciting and rich with new theory-making material these new episodes are. There is so much more potential for looking stupid.
Charlotte (gasping): "Vest! Vest!"
Me: "Yes, apparently they're back in style! Who knew?"
Meanwhile, Sayid fondles the helicopter. Oh hey, wait! Zoe is Regina, the freighter's official receptionist. I'm pretty sure that's her voice. <3
I really wish Ben had said what the monster is. Or that it had come out of the woods and chomped someone. I miss the monster! Instead, Benry mouths off like a magic eight-ball on HYPERCRACK. Hello.
I really hope Zoe is Benry's man on the boat. Although, really? That makes everything very confusing. Neither Ben nor these boat people seem all that well-intentioned. Does that make her two kinds of evil??
Find out, on the next installment of NOT WITHOUT MY DUSTBUSTER. A touching tale of redemption and ghost whispering.
So Jeremy Davies is a giant crybaby. BIG SURPRISE. All right, I don't know why he's my default punching bag now, but just go with it, okay? He's kinda nervous and twitchy and an extremely easy target.
Zoe Bell was in the credits and then appeared NOWHERE in the episode. I feel deeply unfulfilled.
Boat Guy: "Am I on speakerphone?"
Dan: "No, it's cool. What are you wearing?"
You know, Sawyer kinda fails at following Locke. They all do, really. It's comforting.
Okay, Jack, how shocking is it that Daniel would have a gun? All of you are fucking crazy! If I was going to some island and I knew you were gonna be there, I would bring a damn gun. Because you're crazy! Crazy in the past, crazy in the future - crazy all the time, Jack. Accept it, move on.
So then we find out how Locke's daddy saved his life by stealin his organz. OH THE IRONY.
Can I just say? Daniel is totally on the cutting edge of fashion with his vest and his skinny tie. You know it. Just the other day this guy asked me if he could pull all of his old eighties vests out of his closet because they're supposedly back in style. It's cause he's from tha futcha!
Speaking of - where the hell is Desmond? Off shooting Jesus II: Son of Jesus?
I'm sure I'm not the first one to point both these things out, but: first of all - the location stamps. First time we ever get them, no idea what purpose they're serving, of course. Second, and much more interesting - the picture frames, y'all. Did you see? In the stairway? They change! I've read a few theories, but I'd like to hear yours.
Oh, and let's not forget the inherent weirdness of Miles, snarky dustbusting, drugbusting ghostbuster to the stars. I just... I'm going to have to start leaving him out of my recaps if even just referring to him makes me sound like this much of a lunatic.
Awww, the boaties have their own version of funkytown. A little easier to work into conversation, too. How cute.
And then Sawyer uses roughing up Ben as a substitute for physical intimacy with Jack, who was just pounding the same flesh not two hours earlier. How transparent.
I like how weak their argument is about Benry, too:
"Let's kill him!"
"Uh, not in front of his daughter."
*five minutes go by, very little changes*
"Fuck it, let's kill him!"
So apparently Jack winks at Kate? I couldn't figure out why I didn't notice it the first time. Or the second time. I finally rewound it, and look - it's fucking creepy, alright? I was happier not seeing that shit.
So then, uh. Polar bear with a Medusa collar. Whut. That chick from the Golden Compass sure did venture far from home, eh?
Is it just me or is this Charlotte woman just a little too, um. High on life? She's like a kid in a plastic bubble who just got let out for the first time. arabella_hope said it made her sad how guarded and scared our people are, and I have to agree. They're, like, half-wild, all staring at her gun. Unsettling.
(Okay, seriously where is Zoe Bell?? Are the gremlins who live in my TV just screwing with me because it's easy?)
Oh, I've also read a theory about this other dead body of the captain. What do y'all think? Is it mustache!Greg's body? I mostly believe it's a fake, but a little part of me is saying that that's the body of Captain Hippie down in the wreckage, from some parallel universe where he actually was flying the plane - and Daniel was on it, possibly. You think? I sort of hate how exciting and rich with new theory-making material these new episodes are. There is so much more potential for looking stupid.
Charlotte (gasping): "Vest! Vest!"
Me: "Yes, apparently they're back in style! Who knew?"
Meanwhile, Sayid fondles the helicopter. Oh hey, wait! Zoe is Regina, the freighter's official receptionist. I'm pretty sure that's her voice. <3
I really wish Ben had said what the monster is. Or that it had come out of the woods and chomped someone. I miss the monster! Instead, Benry mouths off like a magic eight-ball on HYPERCRACK. Hello.
I really hope Zoe is Benry's man on the boat. Although, really? That makes everything very confusing. Neither Ben nor these boat people seem all that well-intentioned. Does that make her two kinds of evil??
Find out, on the next installment of NOT WITHOUT MY DUSTBUSTER. A touching tale of redemption and ghost whispering.