Lost 4.01: The Beginning of the End
OK, so I have to admit something here: I didn't remember a lot of this stuff from last season. Like Locke knifing Naomi in the back. And... apparently Claire sent away a note with some birds? So someone tells me, but I have no recollection. Was it around the same time someone was burying a bottle? It's all so hazy. In any case, I enjoyed this episode almost a little too much - makes it hard to tear it apart for my own extracurricular entertainment purposes.
We open on Jack and his breakfast of champions, watching a car chase on TV. He's a little bit, "DAMMIT, COUSIN BO! STOP CAUSING TROUBLE!" Except it's not cousin Bo, it's cousin Hugo. And then something AWESOME happens... the powers that be don't make us sit through more Jack-centric back (or is it front now?) story. Whee!
And then, BIG MIKE the cop shows up, which... I don't understand the BIG MIKE thing, because he's really not all that charismatic. Why is everyone who works on this show so obsessed with BIG MIKE? ... Okay, never mind, I kind of love saying BIG MIKE over and over. That seems to be the attraction.
So, um, Ben/Danielle. OTP. YES??
And then Hurley reenacts the best moments of Baywatch! Yeah, baby!
And in keeping with that, the dirt smudges on Kate's shirt fully accentuate both of her... attributes. Nice.
I like that despite the fact that they're right in the middle of a disagreement, Sayid tosses Sawyer a huuuuge rifle. Somehow they've moved past the disagree-with-me-and-I'll-kill-you stage and are well into a much mellower disagree-with-me-and-I'll-roll-my-eyes phase.
So, am I supposed to believe that some creepy dude shows up at the mental institution with this whole cover story about being an attorney for Oceanic, and doesn't think to print up fake business cards in case Hugo asks for one? Come on. Time to bone up on the nefariousness.
And where is new touchy-feely Sawyer coming from? He gives me a creepy crawly about-to-die feeling. New! Improved! Sawyer is There For You. He better not keep it up or he'll be dead within the month.
Meanwhile, Benry's utter BENRYNESS is so damn charming and constant. I just want a pet Benry of my own to tug around by his leash.
And this is where we meet Failed Opportunity for Comedy #1 of the season: Kate answers the satellite phone and it doesn't even cross her mind to impersonate Naomi? How fucking hilarious would it have been to watch her try to pull that accent off. OK, I admit it. It's what I would have done, if I was a father-murdering, fugitive castaway with unusual athletic skills and perpetually fantastic breath.
Naomi and her perfectly-timed death - I think they teach you that in Creepy Ops school.
So, apparently Jacob is Christian, or Christian is Jacob, or something? I don't know, I was too captivated by the velvet painting of a beagle on the wall. Jacob has FAAABULOUS taste, dahling.
Ahahaha. Locke is all, "I warned them, I don't know what their problem is!" Hi, your idea of a warning is to throw a hatchet and then run away.
So, um. The other crazy people can see dead!Charlie. Maybe... all people can see dead!Charlie. Which is... convenient. Also convenient? Classy, classy duds. Which, aside from being amusing, Hugo probably never would have imagined onto Charlie's body in a million years, since all of his memories of Charlie are of him in rags. Huh. So, either not a hallucination, or not a very well-planned one.
And yes, yes, by this point, we all know it. You have to go back. Some mysteriously unquantifiable "they" (which I suppose could be represented as n-6) needs your help. Yadda yadda.
And then Jack shoots blanks... but we already knew that. He also gets the maybe-the-best-delivery-ever award with "ARE YOU INSANE." And yet, it feels like an understatement, doesn't it?
Locke: Come with me if you want to live.
Terminator!River: Didn't I just say that?
I think Hurley's speech beats all of Jack and Locke's so far. Too bad they cut away to last year's footage over part of it. :P
Sawyer: *goes with Locke*
Kate: What are you doing?
Sawyer: Same thing I've always done, Kate. Surviving.
Kate: But! I sweated my shirt into a tit-enhancing tableau just for you!
(I really have to stop staring at her boobs, don't I?)
Nice to see the front of the plane again... although as much as it reminded them (and me) of Charlie, it seems a bit odd how far removed we've become from that whole OMG GIANT MONSTER IN THE JUNGLE thing. I miss the smoke monster :(
HI JEREMY DAVIES, HI. I only recognize you because you don't know how to spank people properly. Also, you were kind of an impotent douche in that movie. This will serve you well in my esteem of you on this show, I think. I cannot bring myself to fear you.
OK, so now, the obvious question, which I probably shouldn't even ask, because it feels a bit like when you're at the movies and your friends keep asking what happens next until you finally snap and go JUST WATCH THE MOVE, FUCKTARDS. So, um. How did both Jack and Hugo get off the island if they were split up?
We open on Jack and his breakfast of champions, watching a car chase on TV. He's a little bit, "DAMMIT, COUSIN BO! STOP CAUSING TROUBLE!" Except it's not cousin Bo, it's cousin Hugo. And then something AWESOME happens... the powers that be don't make us sit through more Jack-centric back (or is it front now?) story. Whee!
And then, BIG MIKE the cop shows up, which... I don't understand the BIG MIKE thing, because he's really not all that charismatic. Why is everyone who works on this show so obsessed with BIG MIKE? ... Okay, never mind, I kind of love saying BIG MIKE over and over. That seems to be the attraction.
So, um, Ben/Danielle. OTP. YES??
And then Hurley reenacts the best moments of Baywatch! Yeah, baby!
And in keeping with that, the dirt smudges on Kate's shirt fully accentuate both of her... attributes. Nice.
I like that despite the fact that they're right in the middle of a disagreement, Sayid tosses Sawyer a huuuuge rifle. Somehow they've moved past the disagree-with-me-and-I'll-kill-you stage and are well into a much mellower disagree-with-me-and-I'll-roll-my-eyes phase.
So, am I supposed to believe that some creepy dude shows up at the mental institution with this whole cover story about being an attorney for Oceanic, and doesn't think to print up fake business cards in case Hugo asks for one? Come on. Time to bone up on the nefariousness.
And where is new touchy-feely Sawyer coming from? He gives me a creepy crawly about-to-die feeling. New! Improved! Sawyer is There For You. He better not keep it up or he'll be dead within the month.
Meanwhile, Benry's utter BENRYNESS is so damn charming and constant. I just want a pet Benry of my own to tug around by his leash.
And this is where we meet Failed Opportunity for Comedy #1 of the season: Kate answers the satellite phone and it doesn't even cross her mind to impersonate Naomi? How fucking hilarious would it have been to watch her try to pull that accent off. OK, I admit it. It's what I would have done, if I was a father-murdering, fugitive castaway with unusual athletic skills and perpetually fantastic breath.
Naomi and her perfectly-timed death - I think they teach you that in Creepy Ops school.
So, apparently Jacob is Christian, or Christian is Jacob, or something? I don't know, I was too captivated by the velvet painting of a beagle on the wall. Jacob has FAAABULOUS taste, dahling.
Ahahaha. Locke is all, "I warned them, I don't know what their problem is!" Hi, your idea of a warning is to throw a hatchet and then run away.
So, um. The other crazy people can see dead!Charlie. Maybe... all people can see dead!Charlie. Which is... convenient. Also convenient? Classy, classy duds. Which, aside from being amusing, Hugo probably never would have imagined onto Charlie's body in a million years, since all of his memories of Charlie are of him in rags. Huh. So, either not a hallucination, or not a very well-planned one.
And yes, yes, by this point, we all know it. You have to go back. Some mysteriously unquantifiable "they" (which I suppose could be represented as n-6) needs your help. Yadda yadda.
And then Jack shoots blanks... but we already knew that. He also gets the maybe-the-best-delivery-ever award with "ARE YOU INSANE." And yet, it feels like an understatement, doesn't it?
Locke: Come with me if you want to live.
Terminator!River: Didn't I just say that?
I think Hurley's speech beats all of Jack and Locke's so far. Too bad they cut away to last year's footage over part of it. :P
Sawyer: *goes with Locke*
Kate: What are you doing?
Sawyer: Same thing I've always done, Kate. Surviving.
Kate: But! I sweated my shirt into a tit-enhancing tableau just for you!
(I really have to stop staring at her boobs, don't I?)
Nice to see the front of the plane again... although as much as it reminded them (and me) of Charlie, it seems a bit odd how far removed we've become from that whole OMG GIANT MONSTER IN THE JUNGLE thing. I miss the smoke monster :(
HI JEREMY DAVIES, HI. I only recognize you because you don't know how to spank people properly. Also, you were kind of an impotent douche in that movie. This will serve you well in my esteem of you on this show, I think. I cannot bring myself to fear you.
OK, so now, the obvious question, which I probably shouldn't even ask, because it feels a bit like when you're at the movies and your friends keep asking what happens next until you finally snap and go JUST WATCH THE MOVE, FUCKTARDS. So, um. How did both Jack and Hugo get off the island if they were split up?