lame slapdash fic and further prodding
You guys. I want... I want a lot. As always. :)
I want off-the-cuff ficlets. Jub-Jub ficlets, yes. But also maybe not-so-related materials! By which I suppose I mean any quirky ficlet relating to some kind of "imperfection", although honestly I've probably just been looking for an excuse to do this. Jared has webbed toes! Jensen can't roll his tongue! Or see those tacky 3-D pictures! Jared has a zit so huge and gross that Jensen can't even look at it! Jensen gets a baaaad haircut! Jared has to wear a retainer at night! Jensen gets itchy when he's turned on!
There's an overall theme here. Someone help me put words to it. And slap me a little for being way too self-conscious about hitting post, even though I know you guys are awesome and will totally get this. Right? SPAM ME, I'm obviously losing it.
***
Here, have one that maybe falls in the quirky category:
Title: In Case Of Emergency
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen.
Rating: R (does this mean flagging? I dun wanna. And I dun understand.)
Wordcount: ~1000
Notes: Somewhere out there, there's an interview where Jorge Garcia talks about "playing" this "game" with his girlfriend. arabella_hope and I just remembered it tonight and immediately it had to become J2 fic. I'm afraid our AIM version was much better. Warning: goes to the schmoopy place (surprisingly).
In Case Of Emergency
Jared still hasn't caught his breath from round two when Jensen gets up on his elbow, pulling away a bit, so that the sweat on Jared's side suddenly cools, gives him goosebumps.
“You're not that winded, you big fake,” Jensen says.
Jared's insulted.
“What if I am? That was strenuous, what I just did! Fuckin' superhuman.”
“Yeah,” Jensen says, still wobbly as he gets to his knees. “You're a god.” He picks up his pillow, fluffs it a little between both hands and grins a little too wide when he adds, “Gotta work on that lung capacity, though.”
Then Jensen's laughing like an escaped mental patient, straddling him for a better angle and shoving the pillow at him so hard Jared maybe almost starts to worry about his own safety, in between bouts of laughing his ass off. He gets one stalky mouthful of feathers through cloth before wrestling the murder weapon away and tossing it across the room, where it bounces off the wall and lands on a pile of old laundry.
For a second, Jensen hovers above him, cheeks flushed, eyes bright. Breathless. He meets Jared's gaze, and then lunges, and just like that Jared's got a faceful of Jensen belly.
“Mthgngh!” Jared says.
He can feel Jensen laughing, tremors through his whole body. Can feel Jensen's cock, warm, sticky, half-hard, sliding against his chest.
“Sorry, what? I can't hear you,” Jensen says. “Gotta speak up.”
“Hngphwg!” Jared says. He's got hair in his teeth, his nose is mashed into the softest part of Jensen's belly, and he's laughing his ass off.
“Nope, didn't get that.”
Jensen lets up on him just enough to leave room for one hell of a raspberry. Jared's lips actually go numb, and it's possible Jensen shrieks. Jared's not sure. He's going to have to catalogue that noise to imitate later.
“Get off me,” Jared says, wrapping both arms around Jensen's hips and ass. “I can snap you like a twig, Ackles.”
Whatever Jensen's about to say comes out as a yelp when Jared topples him, rolls them both onto Jensen's side of the bed. He makes sure to sit right on Jensen's legs, full weight, then he says, “Let's run some drills.”
Jensen doesn't even know what's coming and he's already trying to kick Jared off, knees struggling to bend, but it's no use. It doesn't help that Jensen's still laughing.
“What. No. Lemme go.”
“Safety drills, Jensen!” Jared says gleefully. “What if one day I'm fucking you senseless and I have a heart attack or something?”
Jensen snorts. “Well, it is extremely strenuous work, as you say, but I don't think that's gonna happen for a long while.”
“So? Say it's a long while from now. Say one day I just look at your pretty, pretty face and bam! Stroke.”
“Just like that?” Jensen says, amused but a little lost.
“Just like that.”
“Well, uh,” Jensen says, and that's all he gets out before Jared flops down on him, full weight, limbs loose and wide.
“Run, Jensen,” Jared mutters into the pillow. His face is right up next to Jensen's ear. “Run for help.”
“You're sick,” Jensen says. His mouth is somewhere near Jared's collarbone, Jared can feel the hot breath on his skin, the sweaty heat every place they're touching. “And I can't breathe.”
“You're not struggling,” Jared says, trying to make himself heavier. “You have to wriggle your way to safety.”
“Seriously.”
“You could lay underneath me forever and die of thirst!”
“Can't breathe.”
“Then we'd both be dead.”
“Guess so.”
“You suck,” Jared says. Jensen kind of shoves him, then, and it's a pathetically weak attempt, but at least he's playing along. He kind of starts twisting and squirming underneath Jared, does that fruitlessly for a few minutes while Jared laughs at him.
Then Jensen goes limp.
It's kind of funny, at first.
“Ha ha,” Jared says. “Real cute.”
Jensen doesn't move.
“Come on. I'm not that stupid.”
Silence.
“Jensen, I fucking swear.”
Nothing.
“If you're faking, dude, I swear. No naked time for a week.”
Jensen just lies limply under him. Jared can't tell if he's breathing anymore. He should be able to feel it, he thinks, feel the in and out of air.
“A month. No sex for a month. Jen.”
Jared lifts up, finds him lying there, eyes closed, mouth slack. The flush in his face is fading, and Jared can see every freckle, every line.
“Jensen?”
No response. He could be asleep. Jared considers pinching him, thinks about the time he had the concussion, how the medic twisted that nerve in his neck and it vibrated through his whole body. Instead he just pokes Jensen in the side. Hard.
Jensen just lies there.
“Jen?”
He pokes him harder, but there's no change.
“C'mon, man, you're freaking me out.”
He trails his fingers up Jensen's side to his armpit, is just about to pinch him there when Jensen starts giggling, eyes still closed.
“Oh, fuck you,” Jared says, lets himself flop to the side. “Asshole.”
“Did you hear yourself?” Jensen says. “Stoooop it, I'm scaaaared.”
Jared really does pinch him then, right in the armpit, no mercy.
“Argh!” Jensen cries, probably a healthy mix of indignation and actual pain.
“That's for scaring the hell out of me,” Jared says. He reaches up and tweaks the tendon in Jensen's neck like he was thinking of doing earlier, watches Jensen twitch all over. “And that's for doing it during naked time.”
Jensen recovers, but he's still shuddering slightly when he turns on his side and sharply pinches the skin of Jared's inner thigh, nails digging in.
“Ow!” Jared says, glaring at him so hard it makes his eye sockets hurt. Then something breaks between them and they're both laughing.
“We should try that cuddling thing sometime,” Jensen says, smoothing his warm palm over the spot he was just abusing.
“I don't know. Sounds kinda boring,” Jared says. Throws an arm around Jensen's shoulders and pulls him in against his side, warm and pliant.
“Yeah,” Jensen says. Quick press of his lips to Jared's throat. “Boring.”
***
That is all.
I want off-the-cuff ficlets. Jub-Jub ficlets, yes. But also maybe not-so-related materials! By which I suppose I mean any quirky ficlet relating to some kind of "imperfection", although honestly I've probably just been looking for an excuse to do this. Jared has webbed toes! Jensen can't roll his tongue! Or see those tacky 3-D pictures! Jared has a zit so huge and gross that Jensen can't even look at it! Jensen gets a baaaad haircut! Jared has to wear a retainer at night! Jensen gets itchy when he's turned on!
There's an overall theme here. Someone help me put words to it. And slap me a little for being way too self-conscious about hitting post, even though I know you guys are awesome and will totally get this. Right? SPAM ME, I'm obviously losing it.
***
Here, have one that maybe falls in the quirky category:
Title: In Case Of Emergency
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen.
Rating: R (does this mean flagging? I dun wanna. And I dun understand.)
Wordcount: ~1000
Notes: Somewhere out there, there's an interview where Jorge Garcia talks about "playing" this "game" with his girlfriend. arabella_hope and I just remembered it tonight and immediately it had to become J2 fic. I'm afraid our AIM version was much better. Warning: goes to the schmoopy place (surprisingly).
In Case Of Emergency
Jared still hasn't caught his breath from round two when Jensen gets up on his elbow, pulling away a bit, so that the sweat on Jared's side suddenly cools, gives him goosebumps.
“You're not that winded, you big fake,” Jensen says.
Jared's insulted.
“What if I am? That was strenuous, what I just did! Fuckin' superhuman.”
“Yeah,” Jensen says, still wobbly as he gets to his knees. “You're a god.” He picks up his pillow, fluffs it a little between both hands and grins a little too wide when he adds, “Gotta work on that lung capacity, though.”
Then Jensen's laughing like an escaped mental patient, straddling him for a better angle and shoving the pillow at him so hard Jared maybe almost starts to worry about his own safety, in between bouts of laughing his ass off. He gets one stalky mouthful of feathers through cloth before wrestling the murder weapon away and tossing it across the room, where it bounces off the wall and lands on a pile of old laundry.
For a second, Jensen hovers above him, cheeks flushed, eyes bright. Breathless. He meets Jared's gaze, and then lunges, and just like that Jared's got a faceful of Jensen belly.
“Mthgngh!” Jared says.
He can feel Jensen laughing, tremors through his whole body. Can feel Jensen's cock, warm, sticky, half-hard, sliding against his chest.
“Sorry, what? I can't hear you,” Jensen says. “Gotta speak up.”
“Hngphwg!” Jared says. He's got hair in his teeth, his nose is mashed into the softest part of Jensen's belly, and he's laughing his ass off.
“Nope, didn't get that.”
Jensen lets up on him just enough to leave room for one hell of a raspberry. Jared's lips actually go numb, and it's possible Jensen shrieks. Jared's not sure. He's going to have to catalogue that noise to imitate later.
“Get off me,” Jared says, wrapping both arms around Jensen's hips and ass. “I can snap you like a twig, Ackles.”
Whatever Jensen's about to say comes out as a yelp when Jared topples him, rolls them both onto Jensen's side of the bed. He makes sure to sit right on Jensen's legs, full weight, then he says, “Let's run some drills.”
Jensen doesn't even know what's coming and he's already trying to kick Jared off, knees struggling to bend, but it's no use. It doesn't help that Jensen's still laughing.
“What. No. Lemme go.”
“Safety drills, Jensen!” Jared says gleefully. “What if one day I'm fucking you senseless and I have a heart attack or something?”
Jensen snorts. “Well, it is extremely strenuous work, as you say, but I don't think that's gonna happen for a long while.”
“So? Say it's a long while from now. Say one day I just look at your pretty, pretty face and bam! Stroke.”
“Just like that?” Jensen says, amused but a little lost.
“Just like that.”
“Well, uh,” Jensen says, and that's all he gets out before Jared flops down on him, full weight, limbs loose and wide.
“Run, Jensen,” Jared mutters into the pillow. His face is right up next to Jensen's ear. “Run for help.”
“You're sick,” Jensen says. His mouth is somewhere near Jared's collarbone, Jared can feel the hot breath on his skin, the sweaty heat every place they're touching. “And I can't breathe.”
“You're not struggling,” Jared says, trying to make himself heavier. “You have to wriggle your way to safety.”
“Seriously.”
“You could lay underneath me forever and die of thirst!”
“Can't breathe.”
“Then we'd both be dead.”
“Guess so.”
“You suck,” Jared says. Jensen kind of shoves him, then, and it's a pathetically weak attempt, but at least he's playing along. He kind of starts twisting and squirming underneath Jared, does that fruitlessly for a few minutes while Jared laughs at him.
Then Jensen goes limp.
It's kind of funny, at first.
“Ha ha,” Jared says. “Real cute.”
Jensen doesn't move.
“Come on. I'm not that stupid.”
Silence.
“Jensen, I fucking swear.”
Nothing.
“If you're faking, dude, I swear. No naked time for a week.”
Jensen just lies limply under him. Jared can't tell if he's breathing anymore. He should be able to feel it, he thinks, feel the in and out of air.
“A month. No sex for a month. Jen.”
Jared lifts up, finds him lying there, eyes closed, mouth slack. The flush in his face is fading, and Jared can see every freckle, every line.
“Jensen?”
No response. He could be asleep. Jared considers pinching him, thinks about the time he had the concussion, how the medic twisted that nerve in his neck and it vibrated through his whole body. Instead he just pokes Jensen in the side. Hard.
Jensen just lies there.
“Jen?”
He pokes him harder, but there's no change.
“C'mon, man, you're freaking me out.”
He trails his fingers up Jensen's side to his armpit, is just about to pinch him there when Jensen starts giggling, eyes still closed.
“Oh, fuck you,” Jared says, lets himself flop to the side. “Asshole.”
“Did you hear yourself?” Jensen says. “Stoooop it, I'm scaaaared.”
Jared really does pinch him then, right in the armpit, no mercy.
“Argh!” Jensen cries, probably a healthy mix of indignation and actual pain.
“That's for scaring the hell out of me,” Jared says. He reaches up and tweaks the tendon in Jensen's neck like he was thinking of doing earlier, watches Jensen twitch all over. “And that's for doing it during naked time.”
Jensen recovers, but he's still shuddering slightly when he turns on his side and sharply pinches the skin of Jared's inner thigh, nails digging in.
“Ow!” Jared says, glaring at him so hard it makes his eye sockets hurt. Then something breaks between them and they're both laughing.
“We should try that cuddling thing sometime,” Jensen says, smoothing his warm palm over the spot he was just abusing.
“I don't know. Sounds kinda boring,” Jared says. Throws an arm around Jensen's shoulders and pulls him in against his side, warm and pliant.
“Yeah,” Jensen says. Quick press of his lips to Jared's throat. “Boring.”
***
That is all.