Have to post [GM]Dave
In case you've never been there, here's a little play I like to call "[GM]Dave Gets News, Then Goes Retarded."
Susan>> Hi, honey.
[GM]Dave>> What's wrong?
Susan>> What do you mean?
Susan>> I only said hi.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah, but you're smiling.
[GM]Dave>> See, women are like sharks.
[GM]Dave>> If you see teeth, something bad is about to happen.
Susan>> It's not bad...
Susan>> We just need to talk.
[GM]Dave>> Oh damn.
Susan>> What now?
[GM]Dave>> No one needs to talk.
[GM]Dave>> People say "we need to talk"...
[GM]Dave>> But they mean "I'm about to kill you with words."
Susan>> Listen...
Susan>> I'm pregnant.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> ...
Susan>> Dave?
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> ...
Susan>> Dave?
[GM]Dave>> We're sorry.
[GM]Dave>> Your tell could not be received because the other...
Susan>> Knock that off!
Susan>> I'm serious.
[GM]Dave>> I think I'm having an aneurysm.
[GM]Dave>> Is there blood coming out of my ears?
Susan>> Not yet.
Susan>> We'll see how this conversation goes, though.
[GM]Dave>> Okay...
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> ...
Susan>> Okay what?
[GM]Dave>> That's all I've come up with so far.
Susan>> This is good news.
[GM]Dave>> Oh, yeah...
[GM]Dave>> ... Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> Are you sure?
Susan>> Am I sure this is good news?
[GM]Dave>> Are you sure you're pregnant?
[GM]Dave>> I mean how late are you?
Susan>> Chocobo raising update late.
[GM]Dave>> ... Damn.
[GM]Dave>> That's late.
Susan>> I took the test and...
[GM]Dave>> Test?
[GM]Dave>> What test?
[GM]Dave>> Maybe we could retake it.
Susan>> I think you're losing perspective.
Susan>> We're having a baby.
[GM]Dave>> Are we ready for a baby?
[GM]Dave>> Do we have all the key items?
[GM]Dave>> What if we lose it?
[GM]Dave>> What's the recast timer on a baby?
Susan>> Honey...
Susan>> I think you've gone into the bad place.
Susan>> Babies are just like people.
Susan>> Just smaller.
[GM]Dave>> But I don't like people.
[GM]Dave>> I hate people.
Susan>> Babies are like small people that can't talk.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> I'm listening.
Susan>> We're going to have a beautiful little baby.
Susan>> And we can teach him or her new things.
[GM]Dave>> Like what?
[GM]Dave>> Crafting?
Susan>> Like walking and talking.
[GM]Dave>> I can barely do those things.
Susan>> Oh, that's okay.
Susan>> I'm going to teach the baby to ignore anything you say.
[GM]Dave>> That's...
[GM]Dave>> That's actually a good idea.
Susan>> Don't worry.
Susan>> Everything's going to be okay.
Susan>> Nine months from now, we'll be having our own baby.
[GM]Dave>> Hmmm...
Susan>> What?
[GM]Dave>> I hope I don't have Dynamis that night.
[GM]Dave>> I'd hate to miss it.
Susan>> It won't kill you to miss one Dynamis run.
[GM]Dave>> Wait...
[GM]Dave>> Who said anything about missing Dynamis?
Susan>> Hi, honey.
[GM]Dave>> What's wrong?
Susan>> What do you mean?
Susan>> I only said hi.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah, but you're smiling.
[GM]Dave>> See, women are like sharks.
[GM]Dave>> If you see teeth, something bad is about to happen.
Susan>> It's not bad...
Susan>> We just need to talk.
[GM]Dave>> Oh damn.
Susan>> What now?
[GM]Dave>> No one needs to talk.
[GM]Dave>> People say "we need to talk"...
[GM]Dave>> But they mean "I'm about to kill you with words."
Susan>> Listen...
Susan>> I'm pregnant.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> ...
Susan>> Dave?
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> ...
Susan>> Dave?
[GM]Dave>> We're sorry.
[GM]Dave>> Your tell could not be received because the other...
Susan>> Knock that off!
Susan>> I'm serious.
[GM]Dave>> I think I'm having an aneurysm.
[GM]Dave>> Is there blood coming out of my ears?
Susan>> Not yet.
Susan>> We'll see how this conversation goes, though.
[GM]Dave>> Okay...
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> ...
Susan>> Okay what?
[GM]Dave>> That's all I've come up with so far.
Susan>> This is good news.
[GM]Dave>> Oh, yeah...
[GM]Dave>> ... Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> Are you sure?
Susan>> Am I sure this is good news?
[GM]Dave>> Are you sure you're pregnant?
[GM]Dave>> I mean how late are you?
Susan>> Chocobo raising update late.
[GM]Dave>> ... Damn.
[GM]Dave>> That's late.
Susan>> I took the test and...
[GM]Dave>> Test?
[GM]Dave>> What test?
[GM]Dave>> Maybe we could retake it.
Susan>> I think you're losing perspective.
Susan>> We're having a baby.
[GM]Dave>> Are we ready for a baby?
[GM]Dave>> Do we have all the key items?
[GM]Dave>> What if we lose it?
[GM]Dave>> What's the recast timer on a baby?
Susan>> Honey...
Susan>> I think you've gone into the bad place.
Susan>> Babies are just like people.
Susan>> Just smaller.
[GM]Dave>> But I don't like people.
[GM]Dave>> I hate people.
Susan>> Babies are like small people that can't talk.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> I'm listening.
Susan>> We're going to have a beautiful little baby.
Susan>> And we can teach him or her new things.
[GM]Dave>> Like what?
[GM]Dave>> Crafting?
Susan>> Like walking and talking.
[GM]Dave>> I can barely do those things.
Susan>> Oh, that's okay.
Susan>> I'm going to teach the baby to ignore anything you say.
[GM]Dave>> That's...
[GM]Dave>> That's actually a good idea.
Susan>> Don't worry.
Susan>> Everything's going to be okay.
Susan>> Nine months from now, we'll be having our own baby.
[GM]Dave>> Hmmm...
Susan>> What?
[GM]Dave>> I hope I don't have Dynamis that night.
[GM]Dave>> I'd hate to miss it.
Susan>> It won't kill you to miss one Dynamis run.
[GM]Dave>> Wait...
[GM]Dave>> Who said anything about missing Dynamis?