De Profundis Clamo Ad Te Domine.
I'm so awkward. And so fucking idiotic. I can't be happy with what I have, so I make it harder to live for myself. I put myself in situations that I don't have to be in. I'm just like the stupid morons I hate. Wonderful. I guess I won't be happy until I've pushed everything away and I'm still utterly fucking alone.
I thought it mattered. Just, there are certain times when I need to feel certain ways. So, I'll roll with the punches and continue to grit my teeth through it all. I have to handle that some people just don't care as much as I do. I have to just sit tight and pretend everything is okay when I feel like shit, because I come last and everyone else comes first. My worries are so infinitely trivial to others. And I just make everything so insanely awkward and stupid.
I want to take back everything I said. I want to just carry on like nothing was happening and that I didn't feel anything. And that was okay with everyone else. I want to just remain the same. It was wrong of me to say what I said. I wanted to address something, but it's just not important. I just ruined something.
I just have that affect on people.
I thought it mattered. Just, there are certain times when I need to feel certain ways. So, I'll roll with the punches and continue to grit my teeth through it all. I have to handle that some people just don't care as much as I do. I have to just sit tight and pretend everything is okay when I feel like shit, because I come last and everyone else comes first. My worries are so infinitely trivial to others. And I just make everything so insanely awkward and stupid.
I want to take back everything I said. I want to just carry on like nothing was happening and that I didn't feel anything. And that was okay with everyone else. I want to just remain the same. It was wrong of me to say what I said. I wanted to address something, but it's just not important. I just ruined something.
I just have that affect on people.