One year later: second thoughts.
I've been feeling a bit burned out in regards to RP and am beginning to give serious consideration to dropping out of one or two of the four games I'm currently in.
I don't like even thinking about it since I REALLY don't want to be a disappointment to anyone, but as of late I've been finding it hard to keep myself interested in things as far some games are concerned, since it feels to me like I'm not actually going anywhere in them despite having canonmates or CR; outside of the people I regularly play with now, I feel like I'm still an outsider even after however long, that I'm consistently stepping on toes, that I or the characters I play aren't interesting enough, or that my ideas are just plain stupid.
It's bleeding over into my willingness to try to do anything, too. I've gone and dropped threads, neglected to tag things that I have valid reasons to tag...
It's just. I don't know. Some of this isn't a whole lot of fun for me anymore because I feel like I'm pulling teeth, and I don't know what I can do anymore to make it otherwise. And common sense-as well as anyone I might try to ask-would likely tell me that if I'm no longer having fun, I should go ahead and bow out, that I shouldn't drag it out and make it all harder on myself.
I don't like even thinking about it since I REALLY don't want to be a disappointment to anyone, but as of late I've been finding it hard to keep myself interested in things as far some games are concerned, since it feels to me like I'm not actually going anywhere in them despite having canonmates or CR; outside of the people I regularly play with now, I feel like I'm still an outsider even after however long, that I'm consistently stepping on toes, that I or the characters I play aren't interesting enough, or that my ideas are just plain stupid.
It's bleeding over into my willingness to try to do anything, too. I've gone and dropped threads, neglected to tag things that I have valid reasons to tag...
It's just. I don't know. Some of this isn't a whole lot of fun for me anymore because I feel like I'm pulling teeth, and I don't know what I can do anymore to make it otherwise. And common sense-as well as anyone I might try to ask-would likely tell me that if I'm no longer having fun, I should go ahead and bow out, that I shouldn't drag it out and make it all harder on myself.