-beginning to doubt
edit: Slightly-reworded this part of the post. (read: deleted stuff that has been generally disproven)
I have a bit of a problem that can be attributed to my family and my workplace; both tend to encourage simply speaking one's mind, so if I'm thinking about something, there's a very good chance I'm going to wind up saying it before catching myself. My problem is I never do catch it, no matter if what I'm thinking is something good or bad, and no matter how many times it happens. Or, I do catch it before I say it, but then it weighs so heavily on me that I have to say it anyway just to quit thinking about it. Some of the people I know find serious fault in this, but habits are hard to break, though, so I'm not sure if anything can be done about it.
Another problem I'm aware of is just how quickly my mood can change. Maybe I'm bipolar or something, I don't know: I can be happy one moment, then completely annoyed by something the next, and then after that remorseful over something I did while angered, then more often than not just angered again when I have whatever I did just thrown in my face, and then shortly after that I can be completely distracted by whatever game I've been wasting my time playing. I know it probably sounds stupid, but that really is the way it seems to be anymore.
I won't be able to know for sure if I really am bipolar or not, though, I can't afford to see, say, any sort of psychologist or anything. All I can work with is what I think of myself, and try to go from there.
Work has been stressful again (as usual): when Kathy isn't working and she tries to leave me and Jodie in charge of things, Jodie tries to do all the actual supervising and leaves the gruntwork to me, and then she bitches that I'm not doing anything when I begin to complain about something. She doesn't even ask me for input on anything, because she thinks I'll be okay with whatever she decides everyone is doing, because she's older and obviously knows better (oh, let's not mention that I have seniority over her, mmkay?); at least Jessica or Redrick actually let me do anything.
I have a bit of a problem that can be attributed to my family and my workplace; both tend to encourage simply speaking one's mind, so if I'm thinking about something, there's a very good chance I'm going to wind up saying it before catching myself. My problem is I never do catch it, no matter if what I'm thinking is something good or bad, and no matter how many times it happens. Or, I do catch it before I say it, but then it weighs so heavily on me that I have to say it anyway just to quit thinking about it. Some of the people I know find serious fault in this, but habits are hard to break, though, so I'm not sure if anything can be done about it.
Another problem I'm aware of is just how quickly my mood can change. Maybe I'm bipolar or something, I don't know: I can be happy one moment, then completely annoyed by something the next, and then after that remorseful over something I did while angered, then more often than not just angered again when I have whatever I did just thrown in my face, and then shortly after that I can be completely distracted by whatever game I've been wasting my time playing. I know it probably sounds stupid, but that really is the way it seems to be anymore.
I won't be able to know for sure if I really am bipolar or not, though, I can't afford to see, say, any sort of psychologist or anything. All I can work with is what I think of myself, and try to go from there.
Work has been stressful again (as usual): when Kathy isn't working and she tries to leave me and Jodie in charge of things, Jodie tries to do all the actual supervising and leaves the gruntwork to me, and then she bitches that I'm not doing anything when I begin to complain about something. She doesn't even ask me for input on anything, because she thinks I'll be okay with whatever she decides everyone is doing, because she's older and obviously knows better (oh, let's not mention that I have seniority over her, mmkay?); at least Jessica or Redrick actually let me do anything.