Squee and grr: Post #2-GRRR!

Jun 10, 2010 10:49

Isn’t it life's way? Good stuff happens, and then the crap rears up and tries to suck the joy from life. Then something good breaks through and shines some light, banishing the crap for a while. Rather than mix my squee and woe in one post, I choose to celebrate/gripe about them separately.So, yeah. In many ways, I'm at the happiest spot of my life ( Read more... )

sad sad sad, code name: jim-jim the dog-faced boy, health, rage rage

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hiyacynth June 10 2010, 17:57:55 UTC
Thank you, and then thank you again. It feels good to get some of this out.

It's so weird... I usually have a pretty extensive "RL" support network, but the friends who have gone through similar situations all have kids now and generally just say, "It'll all happen as soon as you stop thinking about it," which is nice and probably true, but not all that helpful at the moment. And any time I mention it to my mother these days, she insists that it's not required to have a baby in the first year of marriage and apparently doesn't believe or care that challenges and risks go up as you pass 35 (long gone for me) and 40 (waiting for me in December). She's remarkably unempathetic for someone who went multiple miscarriages herself.

Also, though I'm sorry it was so rough for you, it's really helpful to hear you had a long emotional and physical recovery after your miscarriage. That's another vibe I get off people I talk to about this... Like, geez, that was six months ago. You should be over it by now. And yet, in many ways I'm just not.

Anyway, *HUGS* Thank you for your support, and for sharing your experience with me. Gives me hope and strength!

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chemm80 June 10 2010, 18:25:18 UTC
apparently doesn't believe or care that challenges and risks go up as you pass 35 (long gone for me) and 40 (waiting for me in December).

Oh yeah. I didn't want to dwell on that, but I can see how that would be a concern for you. Maybe your mom just feels like she'd be making it worse by encouraging you to talk about the bad feelings, like it's allowing you to wallow, or something? Or maybe she just doesn't want to revisit her own intensely bad experience? I don't know.

the friends who have gone through similar situations all have kids now and generally just say, "It'll all happen as soon as you stop thinking about it," which is nice and probably true, but not all that helpful at the moment.

I wish I could say I don't get this, because I don't...in that I would never say this to anyone, but I totally get what you're talking about because I heard the same thing.

Ditto the "you should be over it by now" vibe, which is, to me, one of the worst things you can put on anyone. You're dealing with grief, loss, disappointment--all while your body is in an uproar and your hormones are a complete mess.

Anyway, don't mean to keep rehashing. I'm glad I could be of some support by sharing. Feel free to vent anytime, pm, email me...whatever you need, kid. *hugs you fiercely*

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hiyacynth June 10 2010, 19:09:05 UTC
Re: My age. Yeah, I hear you. While I'm not on auto-freakout about my age, I am definitely very aware that the risks in every single area go up, and I'd just as soon get started before the escalate more.

And my mom... She's generally socially awkward and specifically not fine-tuned in her maternal instincts, so I think she's trying to be helpful but just missing the mark. I've gotten used to it and can usually translate her words into what I think she meant by them, but sometimes I'm just like "Argh! Communicate better!"

Anyway, no worries about rehashing. Will vent again if needed *hugs again*

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