(no subject)
So I just saw Dumbland and I am not going to bother with a review because there is no way I can review what I just saw. It reaches the levels of inanity of some of my "comics" while holding a sense of malice and contempt for its subject matter and its audience that I can never hope to achieve. I suppose I can say I have witnessed around 30 minutes of angry surreal brilliance.
I can say it is a damn sight less disturbing than Rabbits.
David Lynch, I can never hope to understand how you operate.
And the same, it seems, holds true for myself and others, especially when congregated in groups of more than one.
On Saturday I found myself in the paradoxical situation where I enjoyed myself while being utterly terrified and wanting to no longer be in the place I was in (while being too bashful to excuse myself, lest I appear rude). I enjoyed, vicariously, the subject of the evening enjoy herself. I, however, do not seem to go well with groups like a diabetic and a year's supply of sugar.
I do not know where this leaves me. I have had a chat with my parents and they tell me it is futile to push violently against my fundamental nature. I have been informed I am good in a one on one setting. My first honours supervisor advised that I was good in an online setting, where I am freed from almost all reminders that I am engaging with flesh and blood. I see only text and some trappings of personality (as much as the MSN will allow).
Mother has also promised to find me a good wife.
Sorry Sammy. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me =P As I said I appreciated the invite =)
There are times when I feel like an automaton, carrying out human functions but being unable to function on a truly human level. That gets me wondering what a truly human level is to begin with and whether or not I need to be functioning on it.
I suppose if I want relationships of any kind to be fruitful, I need to be more human. I must apologise here to someone who probably will be able to identify themselves without me having to make their identity explicit. I will strive to better what I have achieved with you, for both our sakes.
I suppose the upshot is I feel defective and burdensome to those I hold dear to me.
There I just said in one like what took me 4 paragraphs to summarise. My time spent on twitter has not made me any more concise than I used to be. Lord help us.
And now I find myself in a self-important, self-pitying wank-fest. I am spewing out black bile and pretentiousness in an attempt to make my situation sound more profound that simply being a directionless social phobic with depression, who is currently enamoured of someone.
I did, however, bake some wicked cupcakes ^^
I can say it is a damn sight less disturbing than Rabbits.
David Lynch, I can never hope to understand how you operate.
And the same, it seems, holds true for myself and others, especially when congregated in groups of more than one.
On Saturday I found myself in the paradoxical situation where I enjoyed myself while being utterly terrified and wanting to no longer be in the place I was in (while being too bashful to excuse myself, lest I appear rude). I enjoyed, vicariously, the subject of the evening enjoy herself. I, however, do not seem to go well with groups like a diabetic and a year's supply of sugar.
I do not know where this leaves me. I have had a chat with my parents and they tell me it is futile to push violently against my fundamental nature. I have been informed I am good in a one on one setting. My first honours supervisor advised that I was good in an online setting, where I am freed from almost all reminders that I am engaging with flesh and blood. I see only text and some trappings of personality (as much as the MSN will allow).
Mother has also promised to find me a good wife.
Sorry Sammy. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me =P As I said I appreciated the invite =)
There are times when I feel like an automaton, carrying out human functions but being unable to function on a truly human level. That gets me wondering what a truly human level is to begin with and whether or not I need to be functioning on it.
I suppose if I want relationships of any kind to be fruitful, I need to be more human. I must apologise here to someone who probably will be able to identify themselves without me having to make their identity explicit. I will strive to better what I have achieved with you, for both our sakes.
I suppose the upshot is I feel defective and burdensome to those I hold dear to me.
There I just said in one like what took me 4 paragraphs to summarise. My time spent on twitter has not made me any more concise than I used to be. Lord help us.
And now I find myself in a self-important, self-pitying wank-fest. I am spewing out black bile and pretentiousness in an attempt to make my situation sound more profound that simply being a directionless social phobic with depression, who is currently enamoured of someone.
I did, however, bake some wicked cupcakes ^^