Rules for all women to know
i found the following on Sancho Villa's Myspace page. thought it was funny so i'm posting it here along with my responses.
1. If you think you might be fat, you are. Don't ask us. Just get your fat ass in a gym.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough clothes.
14. You have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most guys own two or three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil.
26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
33. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
34. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
35. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
36. Women wearing Wonder Bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
37. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you.
38. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.
39. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
40. Anyone can buy condoms.
41. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
now my responses :
#1 i was, and i did. now i'm a steady 135. not like i'm obsessed on checking stuff like that but i do, at least once a month.
#4 for some reason, dad seems to HAVE to find something for mom when all she really wants is for him to actually help around the house. maybe make her dinner on that day. she'd love that!
#5 nvr understood why ppl get offended when given an answer they dont wanna hear. dont ask then ppl! lol
#6 lol. true that
#7 better than girly topics
#9 hell yeah! dont know why lil bro luvs cats more except that cats' low maintainance. weirdo
#12 good. though i nvr worried about that before
#13 yes i do
#14 3 pairs is enough for me
#15 thank god i nvr do that!
#16 my bro is an idiot! and he admits it too! lol. dad def one as well. no argument there.
#17 that drives me nuts too! mom does that all the time even my dad! the only one who gets stuff from me is my lil bro. he says he likes something i get it for him later on.
#18 that actually doesnt bother me if its remembered or not. just another year gone by
#19 understandable. but cant you sit when your half asleep? lol
#20 agreed
#21 same here
#22 drink more water! no, honestly it works.
#23 high five there buddy
#24 still like them :P
#25 public transportation
#26 i hate rules but there has to be somethings within reason: respect others' stuff, don't leave a mess in other's homes unless good friends, if cooking ask if the other wants any. well thats what i go by anyway.
#27 never done it. lol
#28 i hate quizzes :P
#29 oh hell yeah! this is now my new fav rule. i'm def remembering this one.
#30 i hate soap operas. and i'm def not a 'victoria secret' gal. tomboy all the way
#31 def remembering this one too
#32 lol. never heard that one before. good excuse though. lol
#33 yup, lil bro is like that. i, now, tell him how to do stuff.
#34 yeah, i still dont understand why mom and lil bro talk to me during a movie. commercials are breaks for a reason ppl!
#35 dad's that way. but my lil bro is picky about his time being wasted. he wants the quickest way from point A to point B. me? i'm just here for the ride.
#36 and that's why i dont wear them
#37 you can have it. i consider it boring. shooting pool is waaay more fun.
#38 i see no point on looking at such mags unless its giving tips on working out.
#39 def true
#40 can, but won't. lol
#41 lol. no comment.