Worthy Of You [4/?]
Title: Worthy Of You [4/?]
Rating: R
Pairing: JongKey, side!OnHo
Genre: slice of life, angst, romance, drama, fluff
Word Count: 1821
Summary: both Kibum and Jonghyun, (known also as Bummie and Jjong) work hard to make themselves worthy the other one.
A/N: It’s the sequel for Each Beat Reminds Me Of You
PREVIOUS CHAPTERS: [prologue] , [1] , [ 2] , [3]
♥ ♥ ♥
There was nothing more irritating than the overwhelming need to drink some good, strong tea, while your long-time-no-seen, disapproving of you father was insistently piercing you with his disappointed gaze as you both stood on the opposite sides of your kitchen.
What was even more annoying was the fact that that father had all the rights to disapprove of your life choices. Because he wouldn’t have any grandchildren. Because not only your reputation was at stake, actually it was above all about his. He had his reputation built on his huge experience, years of work, on trust from his patients. And you could ruin it all with your mindless, selfish “being honest”.
“Are you staying the night?” Jonghyun asked, not looking at his father.
“I am.” the man nodded and focused his gaze on his son.
“Where?” he asked, crossing his arms and waiting for the water to start boiling.
That question seemed to surprise Jin Mo.
“Here, where else?” he said, though not anymore confidently.
Jonghyun’s eyes met his.
“Anywhere else. I though you said you wouldn’t comeback here anymore.”
“But I did comeback. To see you.” Jin Mo insisted, taking in his only son.
He was slim, but definitely not lean; his black t-shirt revealed muscles on his arms. He seemed to grew up a lot since the last time they’d seen each other- when was that, anyway? Two years ago? Three?
His attitude and posture weren’t the only things that changed in him; the most significant change was the blonde colour of his hair. Jin Mo had no idea why would his son dye his hair like this- but then again, maybe he just didn’t want to know that.
He realized, upon that thought, that he’d been building up a wall between him and his son through those past few years. Wall that was becoming thicker and thicker each year, each month, each second they’d confront with each other.
“I see no point in you staying here, if all we can say to each other is how different are our ways of thinking” Jonghyun said bitterly, pouring the water to his green mug.
“Look! This one suits you the best!”
“Why?”
“Well, because it’s green. And that dinosaur from the cartoon is green too.”
“So?”
“So, you look just like him. And this mug has his colour.”
“You mean Dooly?”
“Jjong, stop grinning like an idiot! Yes, like Dooly. Take this one.”
“Then you take this one.”
“Why would I need the black-red one?”
“Because you look like Pucca.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“I love you too.”
“How about we change the subject then?” Jin Mo suggested, his fingers never leaving his cup of coffee. Jonghyun didn’t know if he made himself another one, or if it was the one from before, still untouched.
Judging by the fact that the sink was empty and the cup his father was using was pretty much the same in which Jonghyun made him coffee a couple of hours ago, proved the second.
“What do you want to talk about?” he sighed, adding some sugar and stirring it in his tea.
“About you.”
“What about me?” Jonghyun sighed again, taking a sip from his mug and once again crossing his arms.
“Don’t act so theatrically, will you?” Jin Mo snapped at his son’s defensive attitude “I want to know more about you. Like, how are your studies. Your life.”
“They’re over, thanks for your concern. And I’ve finally become who I wanted to be all along” Jonghyun harshly replied, hating himself for acting like this. It was his father, for God’s sake, why couldn't they have a normal conversation for once?
“You’re a doctor?” Jin Mo asked, a hint of surprise, and, admiration in his voice.
Jonghyun winced slightly at the hopeful tone.
“Yes.”
“Congratulations, son!” Jin Mo finally exclaimed, warm smile overtaking his features, as he left his cup on the table and walked towards confused Jonghyun to pull his in a tight embrace.
He gulped and shifted uncomfortably in the embrace.
“You’re impossibly bipolar, you know?” he muttered as his father pulled away, only to look in his son’s insecure eyes.
“I could tell the same about you. Now, how have you been?”
“Fine, today I got my first patient. A girl with asthma. It was a bit stressing at first, but somehow I didn’t screw up. At least I think so” his lips automatically curved into a shy smile, as he remembered the feeling of satisfaction that accompanied him the whole morning at the clinic.
Apparently, his father caught one word that drew his attention.
“A girl.”
Fuck. Was it beginning again?
“Yes, a nine-year-old little girl.”
“Did she come with her mother?” a hint of expectation.
“No. With her grandpa.” Jonghyun wasn’t going to give up so quickly.
His father sighed.
“What about other medics? Have you met any new friends yet?”
Jonghyun was sure his father meant “girl friends”.
“Yes, they’re all pretty nice people. Though I work with Jinki, so I spend most of my breaks with him.”
His father blinked as he tried to remember Jinki.
“Oh. Jinki. I see.”
Jonghyun nodded and took another sip from his mug.
“What about… women?”
He huffed and frowned.
“Dad, if you start again…”
“I’m asking you about your friends at work, am I not allowed to do that?” he asked with a mocking tone.
Well. Sure, that should be no need to get paranoid over nothing. Though Jonghyun knew damn well where this conversation was leading them.
“Well, as I said, they’re all pretty nice. But I’m spending my free time with my real friend anyways.”
“I heard my colleague’s daughter is working at the same clinic as yours” Jin Mo said, eyeing Jonghyun with anticipation.
“And since when you know where I’m working?” he snapped, not able to fight the feeling that it was all planned.
“I’m just assuming you’re working in the nearest clinic, that’s the most conventional place for a new medic.”
“Right” he mumbled, drinking his not anymore warm tea.
“So… as I said, my colleague’s daughter is working there too and-“
“And you want me to fall in love with her. My answer is: no” Jonghyun cut off his father, spilling his cold tea to the sink. It wasn’t good anymore.
“I… didn’t say it has to-“
“You want me to fall in love with any girl, I understand that. But I won’t, because I love someone else. Believe it.” he said coldly, washing his mug.
“Of course I’d want you to fall in love with a girl. How else am I going to be a grandfather?”
“Go, find yourself some nice lady and make yourself another son, who won’t be as revolting or selfish as me. It’s simple as that.” Jonghyun shrugged, wiping the mug and placing it in his cupboard. Right next to the black-red one.
He shivered.
“Can you at least for a moment stop being so mean to your father?”
“I’m just being honest. I guess I got it from you.” not knowing what to do with his free hands, he took the brown wiper and played with it.
“… I already told my colleague that my son’s studying medicine so that he probably will be working in that clinic.”
Jonghyun froze.
“Don’t tell me it’s about Sekyung.”
Now it was Jin Mo’s turn to gape.
“How did you know?”
“Because quite surprisingly, she knew everything about me the moment we were introduced to each other, including the place I was spending my 13th birthday at.”
Jin Mo slowly raised his eyebrow.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. I wonder how much did your colleague tell her. Especially about my marital status.”
The bitterness grew once again between them, letting them both know that they won’t get on the right track for some more time.
“It’s not that I don’t like her or anything. She’s really nice. And intelligent. And definitely talented and good in what she does. But the fact that she knew so much about me wasn’t, by any means, charming. It was uncomfortable. And scary.”
Jin Mo was nodding slowly, his gaze focused on the fridge.
“So don’t make your colleague hope for too much. I’m not falling for her. Or for any other girl or boy for that matter. I’m already bounded to someone.”
Jin Mo sighed heavily.
“Do you realize how difficult it is for me to deal?”
“Do you realize how I’ve been living these past few months, alone in this house? Do you even remember how it used to be full? Of me, you, mum? Of happiness? Then, of you, me, and Bummie?” Jonghyun’s voice cracked at the nickname. Jin Mo looked taken aback as the little, long-forgotten misterious boy was mentioned. “And then, he left, you left, I was left alone. Do you think it was easier for me to deal with than you dealing with me not falling for who you want me to?”
His father looked away.
“I never asked your mother to leave us.”
“I never asked you to leave.”
“I was a burden for you when I was obviously trying to help you” Jin Mo gritted his teeth, his fists clenching.
“You wanted to take away my happiness”
“No, you idiot, I was trying to save you, don’t you remember those days when you were so close to falling into deep depression? Have you forgotten that already? You really think I didn’t care? I cared way too much, and you repaid me with insisting on stepping into that madness I was trying to save you from.”
Jonghyun’s lips trembled as he had to admit his father’s right, though he said:
“You see how I managed to live without you. I didn’t need you. And I still don’t.”
“And it’s me who’s bipolar. Right, Jjong.” Jin Mo whispered, trying o hold back his anger, as he walked out of the kitchen and stepped into the saloon, shutting the door behind him.
And Jonghyun again mentally cursed himself for being such a child.
What was frustrating though was the fact that his job really pushed him into stepping into the world he’d been afraid of, into the world he didn’t need to care about when he was at college.
The world of both sexes, men and women. The world of normal people, straightforwardness, avoiding taboo. The world in which he could either pretend or bear the possibility of not being accepted by the rest.
The world in which he had to face women, talk to them, refuse them, draw lines between them.
He went to sleep with a heavy feeling on his chest, easing only a little when he glanced at the photo on his desk.
That beautiful, smiling boy with ruffled hair, kissing his cheek and tousling his fringe was worthy every effort.
And time. Jonghyun was ready to wait for him, no matter how long it would take.
__________________________________________________
A/N: It's short and boring and idk what's wrong with me and I want to sleep and study D:
Rating: R
Pairing: JongKey, side!OnHo
Genre: slice of life, angst, romance, drama, fluff
Word Count: 1821
Summary: both Kibum and Jonghyun, (known also as Bummie and Jjong) work hard to make themselves worthy the other one.
A/N: It’s the sequel for Each Beat Reminds Me Of You
PREVIOUS CHAPTERS: [prologue] , [1] , [ 2] , [3]
♥ ♥ ♥
There was nothing more irritating than the overwhelming need to drink some good, strong tea, while your long-time-no-seen, disapproving of you father was insistently piercing you with his disappointed gaze as you both stood on the opposite sides of your kitchen.
What was even more annoying was the fact that that father had all the rights to disapprove of your life choices. Because he wouldn’t have any grandchildren. Because not only your reputation was at stake, actually it was above all about his. He had his reputation built on his huge experience, years of work, on trust from his patients. And you could ruin it all with your mindless, selfish “being honest”.
“Are you staying the night?” Jonghyun asked, not looking at his father.
“I am.” the man nodded and focused his gaze on his son.
“Where?” he asked, crossing his arms and waiting for the water to start boiling.
That question seemed to surprise Jin Mo.
“Here, where else?” he said, though not anymore confidently.
Jonghyun’s eyes met his.
“Anywhere else. I though you said you wouldn’t comeback here anymore.”
“But I did comeback. To see you.” Jin Mo insisted, taking in his only son.
He was slim, but definitely not lean; his black t-shirt revealed muscles on his arms. He seemed to grew up a lot since the last time they’d seen each other- when was that, anyway? Two years ago? Three?
His attitude and posture weren’t the only things that changed in him; the most significant change was the blonde colour of his hair. Jin Mo had no idea why would his son dye his hair like this- but then again, maybe he just didn’t want to know that.
He realized, upon that thought, that he’d been building up a wall between him and his son through those past few years. Wall that was becoming thicker and thicker each year, each month, each second they’d confront with each other.
“I see no point in you staying here, if all we can say to each other is how different are our ways of thinking” Jonghyun said bitterly, pouring the water to his green mug.
“Look! This one suits you the best!”
“Why?”
“Well, because it’s green. And that dinosaur from the cartoon is green too.”
“So?”
“So, you look just like him. And this mug has his colour.”
“You mean Dooly?”
“Jjong, stop grinning like an idiot! Yes, like Dooly. Take this one.”
“Then you take this one.”
“Why would I need the black-red one?”
“Because you look like Pucca.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“I love you too.”
“How about we change the subject then?” Jin Mo suggested, his fingers never leaving his cup of coffee. Jonghyun didn’t know if he made himself another one, or if it was the one from before, still untouched.
Judging by the fact that the sink was empty and the cup his father was using was pretty much the same in which Jonghyun made him coffee a couple of hours ago, proved the second.
“What do you want to talk about?” he sighed, adding some sugar and stirring it in his tea.
“About you.”
“What about me?” Jonghyun sighed again, taking a sip from his mug and once again crossing his arms.
“Don’t act so theatrically, will you?” Jin Mo snapped at his son’s defensive attitude “I want to know more about you. Like, how are your studies. Your life.”
“They’re over, thanks for your concern. And I’ve finally become who I wanted to be all along” Jonghyun harshly replied, hating himself for acting like this. It was his father, for God’s sake, why couldn't they have a normal conversation for once?
“You’re a doctor?” Jin Mo asked, a hint of surprise, and, admiration in his voice.
Jonghyun winced slightly at the hopeful tone.
“Yes.”
“Congratulations, son!” Jin Mo finally exclaimed, warm smile overtaking his features, as he left his cup on the table and walked towards confused Jonghyun to pull his in a tight embrace.
He gulped and shifted uncomfortably in the embrace.
“You’re impossibly bipolar, you know?” he muttered as his father pulled away, only to look in his son’s insecure eyes.
“I could tell the same about you. Now, how have you been?”
“Fine, today I got my first patient. A girl with asthma. It was a bit stressing at first, but somehow I didn’t screw up. At least I think so” his lips automatically curved into a shy smile, as he remembered the feeling of satisfaction that accompanied him the whole morning at the clinic.
Apparently, his father caught one word that drew his attention.
“A girl.”
Fuck. Was it beginning again?
“Yes, a nine-year-old little girl.”
“Did she come with her mother?” a hint of expectation.
“No. With her grandpa.” Jonghyun wasn’t going to give up so quickly.
His father sighed.
“What about other medics? Have you met any new friends yet?”
Jonghyun was sure his father meant “girl friends”.
“Yes, they’re all pretty nice people. Though I work with Jinki, so I spend most of my breaks with him.”
His father blinked as he tried to remember Jinki.
“Oh. Jinki. I see.”
Jonghyun nodded and took another sip from his mug.
“What about… women?”
He huffed and frowned.
“Dad, if you start again…”
“I’m asking you about your friends at work, am I not allowed to do that?” he asked with a mocking tone.
Well. Sure, that should be no need to get paranoid over nothing. Though Jonghyun knew damn well where this conversation was leading them.
“Well, as I said, they’re all pretty nice. But I’m spending my free time with my real friend anyways.”
“I heard my colleague’s daughter is working at the same clinic as yours” Jin Mo said, eyeing Jonghyun with anticipation.
“And since when you know where I’m working?” he snapped, not able to fight the feeling that it was all planned.
“I’m just assuming you’re working in the nearest clinic, that’s the most conventional place for a new medic.”
“Right” he mumbled, drinking his not anymore warm tea.
“So… as I said, my colleague’s daughter is working there too and-“
“And you want me to fall in love with her. My answer is: no” Jonghyun cut off his father, spilling his cold tea to the sink. It wasn’t good anymore.
“I… didn’t say it has to-“
“You want me to fall in love with any girl, I understand that. But I won’t, because I love someone else. Believe it.” he said coldly, washing his mug.
“Of course I’d want you to fall in love with a girl. How else am I going to be a grandfather?”
“Go, find yourself some nice lady and make yourself another son, who won’t be as revolting or selfish as me. It’s simple as that.” Jonghyun shrugged, wiping the mug and placing it in his cupboard. Right next to the black-red one.
He shivered.
“Can you at least for a moment stop being so mean to your father?”
“I’m just being honest. I guess I got it from you.” not knowing what to do with his free hands, he took the brown wiper and played with it.
“… I already told my colleague that my son’s studying medicine so that he probably will be working in that clinic.”
Jonghyun froze.
“Don’t tell me it’s about Sekyung.”
Now it was Jin Mo’s turn to gape.
“How did you know?”
“Because quite surprisingly, she knew everything about me the moment we were introduced to each other, including the place I was spending my 13th birthday at.”
Jin Mo slowly raised his eyebrow.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. I wonder how much did your colleague tell her. Especially about my marital status.”
The bitterness grew once again between them, letting them both know that they won’t get on the right track for some more time.
“It’s not that I don’t like her or anything. She’s really nice. And intelligent. And definitely talented and good in what she does. But the fact that she knew so much about me wasn’t, by any means, charming. It was uncomfortable. And scary.”
Jin Mo was nodding slowly, his gaze focused on the fridge.
“So don’t make your colleague hope for too much. I’m not falling for her. Or for any other girl or boy for that matter. I’m already bounded to someone.”
Jin Mo sighed heavily.
“Do you realize how difficult it is for me to deal?”
“Do you realize how I’ve been living these past few months, alone in this house? Do you even remember how it used to be full? Of me, you, mum? Of happiness? Then, of you, me, and Bummie?” Jonghyun’s voice cracked at the nickname. Jin Mo looked taken aback as the little, long-forgotten misterious boy was mentioned. “And then, he left, you left, I was left alone. Do you think it was easier for me to deal with than you dealing with me not falling for who you want me to?”
His father looked away.
“I never asked your mother to leave us.”
“I never asked you to leave.”
“I was a burden for you when I was obviously trying to help you” Jin Mo gritted his teeth, his fists clenching.
“You wanted to take away my happiness”
“No, you idiot, I was trying to save you, don’t you remember those days when you were so close to falling into deep depression? Have you forgotten that already? You really think I didn’t care? I cared way too much, and you repaid me with insisting on stepping into that madness I was trying to save you from.”
Jonghyun’s lips trembled as he had to admit his father’s right, though he said:
“You see how I managed to live without you. I didn’t need you. And I still don’t.”
“And it’s me who’s bipolar. Right, Jjong.” Jin Mo whispered, trying o hold back his anger, as he walked out of the kitchen and stepped into the saloon, shutting the door behind him.
And Jonghyun again mentally cursed himself for being such a child.
What was frustrating though was the fact that his job really pushed him into stepping into the world he’d been afraid of, into the world he didn’t need to care about when he was at college.
The world of both sexes, men and women. The world of normal people, straightforwardness, avoiding taboo. The world in which he could either pretend or bear the possibility of not being accepted by the rest.
The world in which he had to face women, talk to them, refuse them, draw lines between them.
He went to sleep with a heavy feeling on his chest, easing only a little when he glanced at the photo on his desk.
That beautiful, smiling boy with ruffled hair, kissing his cheek and tousling his fringe was worthy every effort.
And time. Jonghyun was ready to wait for him, no matter how long it would take.
__________________________________________________
A/N: It's short and boring and idk what's wrong with me and I want to sleep and study D: