Worthy Of You [2/?]
Title: Worthy Of You [2/?]
Rating: R
Pairing: JongKey, side!OnHo
Genre: slice of life, angst, romance, drama, fluff
Word Count: 1992
Summary: both Kibum and Jonghyun, (known also as Bummie and Jjong) work hard to make themselves worthy the other one.
A/N: It’s the sequel for Each Beat Reminds Me Of You
PREVIOUS CHAPTERS: [prologue] , [1]
♥ ♥ ♥
There was only one place Jonghyun could go to: Jinki’s house.
Their friendship lasted for what seemed eternity, they’d known each other long before Jonghyun got to know Kibum. They were practically like brothers, bounded for good and for bad.
That’s why Jonghyun was sitting on Jinki’s sofa, hugging his knees to his chest and sobbing silently, looking like a hopeless, broken child.
His friend was right next to him, rubbing his arm gently and occasionally wiping his tears with his fingers.
“God, I’m so pathetic” Jonghyun breathed out shakily, looking nowhere in particular, just anywhere to avoid Jinki’s worried eyes.
why am I always searching for you
“You’re not pathetic” came the soft reply, accompanied by a strong embrace. Jonghyun sobbed louder, clinging to his best friend and breathing in his calming scent.
“I am, fuck, I’m an adult and I can’t just shrug off the thought that my father won’t ever accept Kibum.”
Jinki stilled.
“Kibum?”
“Yes, Kibum. No matter what I say, how much I try to prove him right, he’ll always deny that. I’ve never been so frustrated in my entire fucking life.”
Jinki rubbed his back cautiously, his eyes piercing the ceiling.
“But… he doesn’t know it’s about Kibum, does he?”
Jonghyun shook his head.
“Then… how can you know he won’t accept him?”
“He won’t approve of any of the people I love!” Jonghyun cried out, shaking and embracing Jinki tighter. That made the older boy lose his balance, which caused the two boys to fall down into the sofa, Jonghyun on top of Jinki, never letting go of him.
“As far as I’m concerned he doesn’t hate me” Jinki muttered, blush creeping onto his face for the proximity of the other’s body. Jonghyun had no idea how torturous it was for his friend.
“That’s because he doesn’t know if you have someone, if you didn’t have a boyfriend he’d just say ‘aha, so now you realize that such love can’t exist’. For him it’s all about being in relationship, he started to argue with me as soon as my ‘lover’ was mentioned. Until that he ‘missed me’, you know? He MISSED ME but he wouldn’t fucking care if I had Kibum at home. He’d just fucking leave. You know how it feels?”
Jonghyun’s breathing started to even, his weight seemed to pin Jinki lower and lower. He didn’t know how much more he could stand.
“… I’m not living with my parents since about five years, so, no. And I’m not in any relationship right now.”
Jonghyun took a deep breath.
“Have you been in any relationship since you broke up with Minho?”
Jinki stopped rubbing Jonghyun’s back.
“No.”
“No?”
“Like hell I would. Besides, you’d know it.”
Jonghyun got off Jinki (for which the latter was very grateful) and sat on his previous place.
“Why?”
“Why what?” Jinki mumbled, looking away and praying silently for Jonghyun not to notice his blush.
“Why haven’t you dated anyone ever since.”
Jinki could sense some suspense in Jonghyun’s voice and that only made him blush harder. Well, Jinki was always the one to date someone, he was hardly ever alone, until he broke up with Minho. And then he decided it was just plain pointless.
Anyway, why would Jonghyun ask? It’s not like you always have somebody.
especially when you witness the person you love falling so hard for someone else
“Why would you ask that?” he asked, feeling his face cooling down a bit.
“You still suffer after breaking up with Minho?”
“WHAT?” Jinki turned his head abruptly towards Jonghyun, whose eyes now widened in shock.
“You even blushed when I mentioned him. So, I’m right?”
Jinki blinked in disbelief.
“You’re far from that”
Before Jonghyun could give him any reply, they heard a melody:
I’m unclean a libertine and every time you vent for spleen I seem to lose the power of speech you’re slipping slowly from my reach you-
“Is that your phone?” Jonghyun asked, shocked at the heavy music that Jinki set as his ringtone.
“Uh. Yes.” The older nodded but showed no intention of picking up.
“Why won’t you pick up?” Jonghyun asked, genuinely surprised. His friend was probably the kindest person he’d ever met, he’d never ignore someone’s call.
But he didn’t move from his seat anyways.
“It’s… some strange unknown number that keeps calling me for a few weeks, I just ignore him.”
Jonghyun frowned.
“What if it’s something important? And how can you tell it’s not someone else?”
“I set this melody for this unknown number only, so I always know that it’s him calling” Jinki sighed, though Jonghyun could notice how his fingers trembled slightly.
“I can’t believe you” the younger huffed, eyeing his friend in disbelief “Seriously, what if it’s something important?”
“It’s nothing important.”
“Jinki, how can you tell if you don’t pick up?”
“Why the hell would I?!”
“Because if someone’s been calling you for, I quote ‘weeks’, it means that he indeed wants to contact with you!”
“And what if not? What if it’s some kind of prank?!” Jinki shouted, standing up abruptly and clenching his fists.
“Well, you won’t know unless you answer it!” Jonghyun replied just as angrily, also standing up.
They both stilled for a moment, realizing that they’d never had such kind of a quarrel. They hardly ever quarreled, for that matter.
But then it seemed as if Jinki was hiding something, as if he wanted to prevent Jonghyun from knowing something that haunted him for some long time.
And Jonghyun didn’t like it. Not one bit.
You grow me like an evergreen you’ve never seen the lonely me at all
“Why would you set such kind of a song for some unknown number?” he insisted, walking towards Jinki’s desk where the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.
The latter blocked his way.
“Gosh, just, it’s totally different from other songs I’d set for my contacts, just, let it go, would you?”
Jonghyun tried to take the phone, but Jinki grabbed both his wrists and held them tightly.
“Jonghyun. Stop.”
The latter didn’t plan on stopping though.
“If it’s not important, why won’t you let me pick up and tell them to get lost?”
“It’s none of your business!” Jinki shouted, pushing Jonghyun again with all the force he had.
Apparently, it worked. Jonghyun landed on the floor.
Jinki’s eyes widened.
“Oh my God, I didn’t mean to-“
“Thanks for being such an awesome best friend who’s clearly hiding something from me. Thanks for your immense trust, seriously, Jinki, I couldn’t have asked for more. Fuck” Jonghyun snarled, standing up somehow unsteadily, he rubbed his back with a painful expression on his face and then he turned away.
Jinki still couldn’t move, he was completely frozen, looking as his best friend began walking away.
“Thanks for keeping me company. I’m sorry I bothered you.”
Having said that, Jonghyun slammed the door.
And Jinki sat down on the floor, hugging his knees to his chest, as Jonghyun did some fifteen minutes ago.
fuck, why am I so pathetic
I’m unclean a libertine and every time you vent your spleen I-
“Fuck it!” he shouted, grabbing the phone and pressing the ‘answer’ button.
“Why won’t you just stop?” he breathed out, running his fingers through his hair.
“… you picked up.” said the low voice.
Jinki felt his eyes watering.
“Yes, I did. Don’t get a wrong idea though.”
“Why would I? You answering my call is quite obvious. If you didn’t want to talk with me, you wouldn’t pick up.”
“God, Minho, are you going to lecture me or what?!” Jinki winced, trying hard to control his sobs as he remembered Jonghyun’s face as he was leaving.
I’m such an idiot
“You said you didn’t want me to call”
“I still don’t want you to”
“But you picked up nevertheless”
“So what!?”
Minho went silent for a while. And then, he asked:
“Why didn’t you change your phone number?”
“Why the hell should I?!”
“So I wouldn’t be tempted to call you”
“Then just erase it”
“I can’t”
Jinki groaned.
“Gosh, why do you have to be such a pain in ass?!”
“… I knew you didn’t want to be together anymore. But I had no idea you hated me this much.”
“I don’t- you- I mean- fuck, why don’t you just go away?!” the frustration started to build up inside of him. He felt so pathetic, so stupid, so-
“Why don’t you change you phone number?” Minho asked once again.
“It’s too much mess, telling my friends I changed it and-“
“Why didn’t you block my number?”
Jinki stared blankly into space.
“… because I find it stupid?”
“Oh, do you? Then why did you pick up?”
if he asks me the same question once again, I’ll just-
“I didn’t want to be rude.”
“You sure did.”
“Fuck, just, let me live, would you?!” Jinki screamed, his fist hitting the floor hard. He hissed out of pain and brought his hand to his mouth to blow onto it. Minho went silent. Jinki was pretty sure the conversation was over, but he was never the first to hang up. He’d always wait politely for the caller to state the conversation as finished.
Even if it was Minho.
“… Jinki-hyung? You still there?”
Jinki winced and blew some more onto his knuckles.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m waiting for you to say something?” he got up and went to the sink to pour some cold water onto his hand.
“Why didn’t you hang up if you didn’t want to continue this conversation?”
“This can be hardly called a conversation. And I didn’t because I didn’t want to be rude.”
Why does he have to ask so many questions
“If I didn’t know you, I’d probably believe you.”
“You don’t know me” he replied angrily, his right hand now wet, the pain a bit eased.
His heartbeat as rapid as ever.
“How come ‘I don’t know you’”?
“We’re in past, don’t you get it? And we’ve never really been together, those few dates didn’t mean anything, so just STOP CALLING ME!” Jinki cried out, a bit less able to control his sobs.
Dammit. Jonghyun probably hated him by now.
“… don’t you think the best option for you to avoid me would be not picking up?”
“DAMN YOU, CHOI MINHO!” Jinki yelled, wanting to throw the phone out of the window. He didn’t, though; he waited for his breathing to even, his tears to stop from falling.
His heartbeat to stop running like crazy (it didn’t obey).
“… I miss you.”
“What?!” Jinki sat down on his sofa, wincing as he remembered that he was sitting there with Jonghyun before that pointless quarrel started.
“I miss you. I haven’t seen you since we’ve finished the course.”
“Like I care” he huffed.
Why does he have to pop out from nowhere and ruin my life? Why can’t he just disappear and leave me alone? Why?
Why do I even continue this conversation?
“… I guess you don’t want to see me.”
“Why would I want to see you?!”
“… I hate you.”
Now Jinki’s eyes widened as he held his breath.
What…
“… what?”
“I hate you. A few years ago you were a cheerful, kind, amazing person that could melt just anyone’s heart. And I’ve fallen for that Jinki. What are you now? A grumpy, rude bastard who can’t take care of his own needs.”
Jinki continued to stare blankly into space, Minho’s words slowly sinking in.
“I guess that’s it then. Goodbye, Jinki. Sorry for even bothering you with my annoying presence.”
And just like that, Jinki managed to upset two people within barely fifteen minutes.
Or even three, counting him.
The person he was most angry with was he himself. And what annoyed him the most was the fact that both Jonghyun and Minho were right.
He lived in constant denial.
___________________________________________
A/N: No Kibummie in this one, I’m sorry T.T His story is way more difficult to describe, I need to think more about it while writing. That’s why, to prevent you from waiting (this week I probably won’t update anything), I decided to leave you with this short something.
And well… as you see, Jinki made his appearance. As well as Minho (only through the phone though).
I’m sure you probably don’t remember that in the 1st chapter of ‘Each Beat Reminds Me Of You’ I included OnHo (my first legit OnHo ever, I just realized. Oh man. How come I didn’t know that back then?). They made their next appearance somewhere around chapter 5, I guess (too lazy to check) and then they somehow disappeared… only to be mentioned in the 14th chapter where Jinki admits they broke up.
Being the inexperienced fan fiction writer I was back then (not that I'm anyhow experienced right now >.<), I didn’t really think too much of the non-JongKey background of the story- though it included pretty many details that could influence the plot later on.
Soooooooo, ONHO IS BACK!!
… I mean. /le sigh
I wanted to make this story more detailed and better described so that all the confusing hints from the first story would be clear.
Also, having this photo
as a wallpaper for two months straight makes you wanna write some OnHo
I hope you’re not disappointed with this chapter. The next one should be focused on Key : )
Aaaah, and this lovely banner is made by my lovely secret JongKey shipper I believe sister,stinacarison<3