(no subject)
"To my wonderful neighbor--
I thought that the visit I had to take at 3:30 in the glorious morning would give you a hint as to how loud you have been. However, it would seem as though you did not take the matter seriously.
While I do often go to bed late, I start winding down at 12 or 1 AM, only to hear stomping, whooping, hollering, and screaming. Normal living noises I understand, such as walking around, talking in a normal voice, etc... but these noises lead me to believe that you are having certain "bits" of anatomy kicked repeatedly and extremely violently; for that is the only time I have ever heard such noises come out of a person.
If you have not noticed by now, this apartment is generally quiet by 11 or 12 at night. Please be respectful to your neighbors and stop screaming at 1 in the morning. We would like to sleep at some point.
The next time will not involve me going upstairs and asking you to please be quiet, or a wonderful note like this; it will be a call to our police, and then the landlord to complain that you are disrupting the peace. Either that, I call an ambulance in the case you are really losing manhood pieces from your testicle kicking contest, because those screams are sounding excruciatingly painful.
Thank you.
Your dearest neighbor who doesn't mind the noise during the day, but would like to have a calm, peaceful night"
Yes, I will be printing this up and throwing it at my upstairs neighbors. Because for the past half hour, I just keep hearing "HOOOOO!!! UUUUGHHH!!!!! AAAAHHHH!!!!!"
It's one thirty in the freaking morning right now.