(no subject)
Ahh the joys of an overworked brain, not allowing me to sleep. Well okay, so maybe it's a book that I am to absorbed into. And cookies. Yummy cookies.
Day one of period, and THANK GOD! Roughly a week late. It was freaking me out, and no..not for pregnancy reasons. I was just freaking out because it is annoying, knowing that your period is coming, knowing that you are late, but not knowing when it is coming. So every single time I thought it was there, I raced to the bathroom (because...ewww, if blood got on my underwear...ewww) and sighed whenever it was a false alarm. But today I got it while I was on the toilet so..no mess! Whoo hooo! The most annoying part, I think, was the fact that throughout the week I was PMSing like mad and had horrid cramps (not as bad as many people, but...they still hurt!) I just wanted to say to my body "I know you hate me right now, but come the fuck on!!!!"
....these cookies are YUMMY. Love goes out to Entenmann's.
I'm done with Joe. Finally. Too many things just...happening. Decided that I'm going to stop now. Sure it hurt, but I know that if I kept doing that to myself, it would only get worse and hurt a lot more. There was a lot of crying on my part, but I think I am done with that now. Honestly, I don't need a lying, cheating, jerk in my life. Sure he was fun, and we had good times, but...it wasn't worth it in the end. More heart ache than fun. And I am actually quite impressed with myself; I can think about him without getting emo and freaking out. Yey!!!
Work is getting annoying again. They want me to have the store PRISTINE and totally SPOTLESS by the time the openers come in, even during busy times. They always say "It's okay if you were busy, the store doesn't have to look amazing then!" but I always know that when they say that, it is total bullshit. Literally, they want it totally and utterly spotless. I had to wipe up the crumbs in between the wall and the seats today, restack bun racks so they looked all nice and orderly, clean out sinks, this, that, and the other shit that NONE OF THE OTHER SHIFTS DO AT ALL!!!!! It wouldn't be so annoying if it were a group effort, but there was a ton of crap in between the walls/seats. The bun racks were all disorginized and not from us, the grill sink? A mess because all of the other shifts just let stuff pile in there and not clean it out. UGH. Oh, and they are trying to say that I don't do half of the stuff that I do in fact do. Like...clean out the small tiny space in between the landing zone (where we send up food and it waits, in the heated zone, until we pick it up and give it to customers) and the piece of metal that stops the food from falling on the floor (a ton of gross shit gets caught in between that crack, like...small bits of lettuce that falls out of a sandwich). I do that every single goddamned night I am there. I take off the metal, and clean like a mo-fo. I make sure there is no clutter around the store, which I got bitched at for. .....I really....really...REALLY hate the overnights.
I really was going to start applying for new jobs, but my mentality has been down the shitter since trying to cope with the whole Joe issue..which really should have not gone as far as it did. Stupid me being a girl and not thinking with my head! Wow...this box of cookies is almost gone. I should probably stop eating them. But anyways, I am going to give myself another week of relaxation before doing the whole job hunting thing, because I really have not been able to relax. Any time I can...my brain kicks into hyperdrive and that is not good for relaxing. Heh...skimming over that section about work...it's kind of confusing. Basically, they are accusing me of not doing things that I do. And I have to clean up after every other shift and end the day with a shit eating grin.
Shit it's one...I really probably should be heading to bed now. But..I know that will just result in me reading and reading and reading.
Good thought though: The flowering trees around here all look AMAZING! They are all full and beautiful and sweet smelling. This is what I love. Sure I like the beauty of snow for the first month, but I am in love with spring and summer. I am in love with the heat, with the sights and smells of plants and trees, with the greenery. The sun! I was on my way home yesterday from work and took time to stop and smell a cherry blossom tree and just revel in that moment. And then a guy coughed because he found me creepy (though...a guy finding ME creepy at five in the morning...I should be the one creeped out. Thankfully it was right next to my house so I could run and hide).
anyways, I am just rambling on at this point, trying to make myself sleepy and being unsuccesfull at this moment. And...hope you guys don't mind, I could care less about spelling at this moment in time. Anyways..about that bed that is calling my name....
Day one of period, and THANK GOD! Roughly a week late. It was freaking me out, and no..not for pregnancy reasons. I was just freaking out because it is annoying, knowing that your period is coming, knowing that you are late, but not knowing when it is coming. So every single time I thought it was there, I raced to the bathroom (because...ewww, if blood got on my underwear...ewww) and sighed whenever it was a false alarm. But today I got it while I was on the toilet so..no mess! Whoo hooo! The most annoying part, I think, was the fact that throughout the week I was PMSing like mad and had horrid cramps (not as bad as many people, but...they still hurt!) I just wanted to say to my body "I know you hate me right now, but come the fuck on!!!!"
....these cookies are YUMMY. Love goes out to Entenmann's.
I'm done with Joe. Finally. Too many things just...happening. Decided that I'm going to stop now. Sure it hurt, but I know that if I kept doing that to myself, it would only get worse and hurt a lot more. There was a lot of crying on my part, but I think I am done with that now. Honestly, I don't need a lying, cheating, jerk in my life. Sure he was fun, and we had good times, but...it wasn't worth it in the end. More heart ache than fun. And I am actually quite impressed with myself; I can think about him without getting emo and freaking out. Yey!!!
Work is getting annoying again. They want me to have the store PRISTINE and totally SPOTLESS by the time the openers come in, even during busy times. They always say "It's okay if you were busy, the store doesn't have to look amazing then!" but I always know that when they say that, it is total bullshit. Literally, they want it totally and utterly spotless. I had to wipe up the crumbs in between the wall and the seats today, restack bun racks so they looked all nice and orderly, clean out sinks, this, that, and the other shit that NONE OF THE OTHER SHIFTS DO AT ALL!!!!! It wouldn't be so annoying if it were a group effort, but there was a ton of crap in between the walls/seats. The bun racks were all disorginized and not from us, the grill sink? A mess because all of the other shifts just let stuff pile in there and not clean it out. UGH. Oh, and they are trying to say that I don't do half of the stuff that I do in fact do. Like...clean out the small tiny space in between the landing zone (where we send up food and it waits, in the heated zone, until we pick it up and give it to customers) and the piece of metal that stops the food from falling on the floor (a ton of gross shit gets caught in between that crack, like...small bits of lettuce that falls out of a sandwich). I do that every single goddamned night I am there. I take off the metal, and clean like a mo-fo. I make sure there is no clutter around the store, which I got bitched at for. .....I really....really...REALLY hate the overnights.
I really was going to start applying for new jobs, but my mentality has been down the shitter since trying to cope with the whole Joe issue..which really should have not gone as far as it did. Stupid me being a girl and not thinking with my head! Wow...this box of cookies is almost gone. I should probably stop eating them. But anyways, I am going to give myself another week of relaxation before doing the whole job hunting thing, because I really have not been able to relax. Any time I can...my brain kicks into hyperdrive and that is not good for relaxing. Heh...skimming over that section about work...it's kind of confusing. Basically, they are accusing me of not doing things that I do. And I have to clean up after every other shift and end the day with a shit eating grin.
Shit it's one...I really probably should be heading to bed now. But..I know that will just result in me reading and reading and reading.
Good thought though: The flowering trees around here all look AMAZING! They are all full and beautiful and sweet smelling. This is what I love. Sure I like the beauty of snow for the first month, but I am in love with spring and summer. I am in love with the heat, with the sights and smells of plants and trees, with the greenery. The sun! I was on my way home yesterday from work and took time to stop and smell a cherry blossom tree and just revel in that moment. And then a guy coughed because he found me creepy (though...a guy finding ME creepy at five in the morning...I should be the one creeped out. Thankfully it was right next to my house so I could run and hide).
anyways, I am just rambling on at this point, trying to make myself sleepy and being unsuccesfull at this moment. And...hope you guys don't mind, I could care less about spelling at this moment in time. Anyways..about that bed that is calling my name....