(no subject)
God.....how a mood can change. All week, I've been happy...the sun has been shining, the mechs have been dieing and the cigarettes have been frying, and it's too damn frikkin hot. . .then...tears are falling...thoughts are calling...and my heart...refuses to beat. I sit here, staring into a computer monitor while other people are out with their friends, drinking, smoking pot, holding their lovers....and I'm typing on a keyboard to a bunch of...nobody. It's beyond depression anymore...utter and complete bouts of self-loathing and loneliness...more defined then the over-all periods of depression I normally have. I'm just going to sit here, blank faced, for the rest of the night. Merry fucking christmas.