The heart
The heart is a complicated organ. The only organ capable of miracles. Mine plays tricks on me. I leave it far too open, and let everything in so there is too much for it to handle.
Do you ever wish you could go back and do one thing over? I would have been better to the one person who loved me unconditionally for the year and nine months we were a unit over a year ago. I would have made loving me easier for him. I know being apart needed to happen. I know this time is crucial to who I am. But I have never experienced love or loved anything like I loved that man. I wish I knew why this has been in my thoughts recently. Why I wake from beautiful dreams of us being happy, to a reality of distance and time. What sort of lesson am I to take away from this? Yet he still answers the phone when I need him the most. I don't deserve his love, even from a place of friendship.
That is all that finds me at the moment. I am in high spirits today. I chose to smile the moment I awoke, with the hopes that it would start me off positive. It worked. I am writing good things everyday. I began sketching last night, which felt wonderful. My photography project is feeling natural. Film school seems more plausible everyday. Vancouver is looking like a possibility.
Life is beautiful.
Do you ever wish you could go back and do one thing over? I would have been better to the one person who loved me unconditionally for the year and nine months we were a unit over a year ago. I would have made loving me easier for him. I know being apart needed to happen. I know this time is crucial to who I am. But I have never experienced love or loved anything like I loved that man. I wish I knew why this has been in my thoughts recently. Why I wake from beautiful dreams of us being happy, to a reality of distance and time. What sort of lesson am I to take away from this? Yet he still answers the phone when I need him the most. I don't deserve his love, even from a place of friendship.
That is all that finds me at the moment. I am in high spirits today. I chose to smile the moment I awoke, with the hopes that it would start me off positive. It worked. I am writing good things everyday. I began sketching last night, which felt wonderful. My photography project is feeling natural. Film school seems more plausible everyday. Vancouver is looking like a possibility.
Life is beautiful.