growing up and moving onward
I'm not perfect. I'm not where I want to be in life at this point, or at least I'm not where I thought I would be at this point in my life. Then again, who the fuck is?
I'm 25, with some pretty amazing friends, with a steady job that may toss me around a bit ( but I'm still there, so that's gotta be something), and with an apartment that I love with a roommate that I love, despite his lack of motivation to consistently do the dishes. I guess it's karma.
I've spent so much time being upset about where I'M NOT when I could have been feeling grateful and happy for where I AM.
I AM something. It's taken me 25 and a half years to even start to grasp the full idea of living that concept day to day. It's not like all the cynicism has been driven out of me at the drop of a pin - - it's still there. It's just smaller and more easily pushed aside. Cynicism and negativity exist for a reason, but they can very easily be given the opportunity to grow to something that is much more powerful and much more destructive.
Day by day, step by step. Life is like working a shift as a server - you get through by taking one table at a time. You get through by leaving the floor to go smoke a cigarette even though you know you are ass deep in the weeds. But sometimes, you have to fucking let go and just let things be. Stress is inevitable, as well as failure. So why are we all running around so afraid of it all the time?
Aside from building a daily routine, which I have come to depend on in the past month and a half, it's important to wake up and immediately start telling yourself that everything is OK. I am incredibly lucky, priveliged and healthy. I am in the prime of my life, and it's important to me to not fucking waste it.
I'm so sick of dimming my own light. I'm ready to shine.
I'm 25, with some pretty amazing friends, with a steady job that may toss me around a bit ( but I'm still there, so that's gotta be something), and with an apartment that I love with a roommate that I love, despite his lack of motivation to consistently do the dishes. I guess it's karma.
I've spent so much time being upset about where I'M NOT when I could have been feeling grateful and happy for where I AM.
I AM something. It's taken me 25 and a half years to even start to grasp the full idea of living that concept day to day. It's not like all the cynicism has been driven out of me at the drop of a pin - - it's still there. It's just smaller and more easily pushed aside. Cynicism and negativity exist for a reason, but they can very easily be given the opportunity to grow to something that is much more powerful and much more destructive.
Day by day, step by step. Life is like working a shift as a server - you get through by taking one table at a time. You get through by leaving the floor to go smoke a cigarette even though you know you are ass deep in the weeds. But sometimes, you have to fucking let go and just let things be. Stress is inevitable, as well as failure. So why are we all running around so afraid of it all the time?
Aside from building a daily routine, which I have come to depend on in the past month and a half, it's important to wake up and immediately start telling yourself that everything is OK. I am incredibly lucky, priveliged and healthy. I am in the prime of my life, and it's important to me to not fucking waste it.
I'm so sick of dimming my own light. I'm ready to shine.