RP Log with lotterylucky | Deep-N-Meaningful

[histhornedrose]

[Simultaneous to THIS]

Riley just rolled his eyes and shook his head when Buffy walked away. Typical. Whenever she didn't like what she was hearing, she always walked away. Just like she did when he told her he was going back to the army, leaving Sunnydale. By this point, he just didn't care if she liked it or not. Everything he said needed saying, and if the truth hurt that much, then she should just damn well keep walking. The thing was, he couldn't deny he wanted her out of his presence right now. After the turn of events with Nina, Riley really did just want to be as far away from his past as he could manage to be. Buffy's hang ups about non-Kindred vampires weren't going to do her any good here. If anything, she would be the one who ended up getting most hurt.

He didn't hesitate in knocking softly on the door that Blaise had just exited. But he didn't wait to be admitted. Even if Juliette was pissed off, Riley needed information from someone and he wasn't going to follow Blaise for it. He cleared his throat softly. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he began quietly.


Juliette arched her eyebrow as she turned to look at Riley and snorted in wry amusement. "What makes you think I'm not okay, hm? And what makes you think you need to start a conversation with a comment like that when you have no wish to know if I'm okay or not. You're here for something else." Juliette moved to take a seat and gestured for Riley to do the same. She was still angry, still hurting from the argument with Blaise. There would be no making amends yet. She was unwilling to admit it was wrong for her to feel hurt by what Blaise had done, just like Blaise was unwilling to apologise for doing it. He was the Prince, it was his right to act. "How is Rory doing?"

Riley didn't sit at first. Instead, he stood there, putting his hands on his hips as he looked down at his feet. He bit down on his lower lip with an annoyed sigh. He was seriously pissed off with being bitched out for things that weren't his fault. Now he was getting bitched out for merely being polite and he couldn't help be annoyed at this. When did asking if someone was okay become a damn crime? "So, okay. Obviously I'm not allowed to need information and hope you're okay. Excuse me for opening my mouth," he replied, his own patience wearing thin with all this just like everyone else's. He wanted to be back at Nina's, trying to fit in her bath. Not here being in the firing line of all these angry people. In fact, he was so annoyed, he stayed standing, crossing his arms over his chest. "Unconscious, as far as I hear. Deduce from that what you may."

Juliette watched him as her mouth formed a thin line. She was mad at herself for not being able to remain civil, but the fight with Blaise had rattled her. As had the taste of Rory's blood even if it had been filtered through her mate. It had tasted as sweet as she imagined. It had just been so... Rory. And she wanted more. "Je suis désolé, Sergeant. Please forgive me. I do not mean to take my anger out on you. What happened... It does not sit well with me, but it is done. It is also the first time in decades that I've wanted to rip Blaise to shreds. That thought also does not sit well with me. So to answer your question, non, I am not okay. I have been better. Unconscious is... fixable. And your head?"

"Fixable," Riley replied quietly, drawing in a deep breath and letting it out slowy. "I'm not exactly sure what I can say here without pissing you off more. I wanted to keep Rory sedated until the Brujah thing wore off, but there was no way of knowing how affected he was by it without waking him. By then, the brother was here putting the heavies on, and to be honest, he could strip me of my titles if he wanted to. All he would have to do was show that his brother wasn't protected, and yeah... messes no one could fathom getting into. Not with everything up shit creek already. But I think considering the circumstances that... this was the best move for Rory," he admitted.

Juliette held her tongue as she worked on finding some kind of calmness in amongst the discontent ripping up her insides. "Why do you say that?" she asked lowly. "We already know how effected he was when you woke him and subsequently got hit on the head. You didn't have to wake him up for the brother. Not if you didn't want to, but I suppose with the threat of having titles stripped you really had no choice. But tell me, why do you think it's the best choice?"

Riley sat down on the windowsill and wet his lips. "A few reasons, I guess. Bear in mind, I think like a soldier. I don't think any time under the influence of this Brujah anger was doing him any good. Because even once he comes out of it, he is still going to be left with the emotion of it, and the reason he is so angry and responsive to the influence is because he's angry over the loss of his family deep inside. That would all be pushed to the forefront. To wake from that, I think it would fuck with his head. I think it would take him back to a lot of bad things he had already dealt with. This way, it gets overruled, in a sense. That anger will get drowned out in favour of, I don't know... love for Armani? I also think he has the best protection under Blaise's influence. He'll be untouchable by anyone but Blaise until he recovers. I'm sorry, but I just can't see that as a bad thing. I also think the fact he asked you not to feed from him should be respected. Not that it's my call to make, but it's a request he'll still remember when he wakes up. If he found out it was you, I think he'd be pretty damn pissed off." He shrugged. "Maybe I didn't. But none of us are his blood relative. Logan was. he has rights above all of us, whether we like it or not. I didn't do it because I was covering my ass, even if that was a tempting prospect. I did it because I know what it's like to be all alone when you're sick and injured. To feel like there is no one there who gets it. I didn't want Rory feeling that. I just didn't realise the relationship was so strained."

"He wouldn't be feeling alone as Brujah, or misunderstood. He would just be feeling anger. No one can empathise with Brujah. Even blood relatives. Can you imagine a brother of yours turning into Brujah?" Juliette slid from her seat and started to pace in her heels, her arms wrapped around her middle as she held herself tightly. And then she stopped, her back to Riley as her face twisted with pain, and his words shook loose something in her mind. Blaise had done it for her, and she'd been so blinded by her rage that she'd missed it completely. "Of course Rory would blame me. Why do you think I have not broken that promise? Still, I am not someone he wants to see. Even under Blaise's influence I still think that would be true. All I want is for him to be safe."

"I don't have brothers. And sure. But at the same time, the brother had a right to speak to Rory too. There's no right or wrong answer here. Just a lot of bad choices with no real good results. It was just a matter of finding the better of the evils. I also didn't mean feeling during it, necessarily. In the wake of it more. I don't know. Like I said, I wanted to keep him sedated, but his brother had a right to call some of the shots." Riley pressed his lips together. "And no offense or anything here, but you were screaming like a banshee in that hospital room that you should be the one to do that. You might not have broken the promise, but you would have. You hurt him. Guys don't take ego blows very well, especially when we don't understand why they're happening it all. Put that under the influence of Brujah, and it would seem you get one hellishly pissed off male ego on your hands with Scottish blood and a past of severe hurt and anguish. Bad, bad mix."

Juliette's lips formed a thin line again as her fingers dug into her skin. "So do you think I should just leave him alone? That I maybe don't get the chance to try and make it up to him? Blaise said Rory should not be under my control, and that is certainly not what I want. I only want him calm enough for me to try and make it all up to him. I fucked up, non? And while I understand egos do not take knocks very well, why can I not still try and make this all up to him? Blaise has stopped me from breaking my word again. He has taken it out of my hands, and truth be told now that I am done 'screaming like a banshee', I am grateful to him. I am still perhaps scared to see what Rory has to say to me even under Blaise's influence."

Riley looked at her, raising his eyebrows a little. "And tell me how the fuck you were supposed to have had the chance to make it up to him? He's been unconscious most of the time, and when he hasn't, he's been in a blinded anger. Now you're throwing a tantrum because you've not had the chance? Who has had the chance for anything? Is this all about your feelings, Juliette? What about his? Does he not deserve the time to heal and process this? Do you not think that the fact he was nearly Embraced might just trump the fact you pushed him away just a tiny little bit, huh? Maybe you should be scared, Juliette. It's not going to hurt to feel that a bit. Everyone has to feel some guilt when they fuck up. How Rory is going to feel about this remains to be seen. But how he feels about it under Brujah, under Ventrue, under the Holy Grail, I don't know. It's not going to change. It's still how he feels. It will just be different in reaction."

"Of course I already feel guilty! How can I not? He has been unconscious, he has been nearly Embraced. And he has been nearly Embraced by Brujah! Twice now he has been drained to the point of near death. All I want is for him to be Rory again. I don't want him Brujah, I don't want him Ventrue. I don't want him lost." Juliette sat back down with a huff of annoyance and frustration. "My anger just seems to come out easier focused on myself. Even a Kindred can never claim to be rational when emotions are involved. He'll have the time, but it will still be at Blaise's home. Perhaps I should just stay in an apartment away from him while he is there. If what he says is true regardless of influence, then he does not want to see my face."

"Then tough shit, Juliette! It doesn't matter what all idealisms you want! It's happened, and this is how it is. You need to deal with that! You think any of us wanted this to happen? Of course we damn well didn't, but now we need to figure out the way for him to be taken care of that causes him the least amount of pain. And I don't care what you think, being under that Brujah influence was causing him a hell of a lot more pain that he was clearly coping with. He attacked his own brother. His flesh and blood, barely minutes after seeing him. I don't believe for a minute that estrangement is as bad as that. Logan was under the mindset that Rory would be okay seeing him. I think that says a lot. He's a Special Agent, he's very much not stupid. If he felt there were any causes for concern, he would have told me. I know he would have. Rory's state of mind was a complete shock to him." Riley shook his head and sighed. "Are you kidding me? Seriously? The place is a friggen mansion. If you can't steer clear, then there is really something wrong."

Juliette glared at Riley. "I have tasted his blood! Blaise let me taste him... I cannot be around Rory right now, ca va? It's not as intense as tasting the source, but still... his blood is on my tongue and all I want is to taste him again. Taste him properly. Being in that mansion is not a good idea for me. Steering clear will not dampen the hunger. Maybe I was right in denying him a chance to see me. I do not know anymore. He needs his brother, he needs family."

It was Riley's turn to glare and growl in frustration. "Jeez! Then quit asking my opinion if you've already made up your damn mind! Do you know how freaking sick of that I am? Asking my opinion, getting it, and then friggen bitching me out when you don't like hearing the answer! And trust me, this is not isolated to you, but damn it's fucking annoying!" He put his hand over his forehead, nursing it for a few moments when his head started to throb again. "So, don't be in the mansion. I don't care. Once he leaves this place, it's out of my hands anyway. You all can have at it." The feeling like he was talking to brick walls lately was really starting to piss him off. He turned to look out the window, once again wishing he was back with Nina.

Juliette unwrapped her arms as she touched her fingers to the palm of her hand, still feeling a slight rush from the recent feed. She stood up and walked up behind Riley and placed her hand on the back of his shoulder lightly. Blaise had been the only one to feed from Riley. Juliette had never tasted him, but given he was enough to send a tremour through things between Blaise and Buffy she did have to admit he had a certain kind of appeal. "I'm sorry, Sergeant Finn. I do not mean to take any of this out on you. You have been a good friend to Blaise, and have always helped us."

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. I get it, I do. I'm just pissed off, I guess." Riley sighed heavily and glanced at her. "I don't think I have the answers you need or want right now. Rory is Blaise's responsiblity now. Once he wakes up and our doctors are satisfied he is okay enough not to be stuck here, they'll let him go and obviously Blaise will keep him close until this all wears off. Although, in saying that, I just saw Blaise, and he's primed. He was leaving, so I don't know where he was going. Then Buffy went off in a huff. Again. She does that. It's not exactly foreign to me. I just really could have done without all of this right now."

Juliette looked down, wondering if Blaise was going to try and do something stupid. Only he was Blaise, and she had never met anyone that had as much of a handle on logical thinking as he did. Until it came to tiny blondes. She took Riley's arm in hers and pulled him towards the door. "Then at least let me get you a cup of coffee before our time comes to an end, hm? We still have a little while to find a way to converse without having an argument."

Riley just followed, figuring coffee couldn't do any harm. He realised he hadn't actually eaten anything in over a day, so it was probably a good idea anyway. "So, what happens when you guys argue? What are the rest of us supposed to do? This hasn't exactly been a issue since I've been in the driver's seat of the whole thing. You've always been tight, inseparable I guess. Now what?" he asked in bewilderment.

Juliette shrugged her shoulder lightly as she gave him a sad smile. "Je ne sais pas. It's been a couple of centuries since our last fight. Perhaps it was inevitable? Things won't be the same, that much I know. We might be mates, but we were never designed to be constantly happy with each other. We will always find that sometimes our wants clash, or go in different directions. It's just been some time since that has happened. You should just keep operating as normal. You answer to Blaise, not to me."

"That doesn't exactly make things easier considering the fact you're both linked to Rory. Then there is Airlie. She's a Toreador, right? I haven't really spoken to her, but isn't she going to need some sort of guidance off you? And she's Rory's best mate. Then there is Xander who is Buffy's best mate, and Buffy, who is linked to Blaise in a way I'm seriously not following. To be honest, the whole thing gives me a gigantic headache and makes my stomach hurt," Riley admitted with a small scrunch up of his nose. "For the first time in a long time, I really don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do here. Just hope there are no more disasters, I guess, and hope that Blaise gets over his... whatever it is, and talks to me."

"He just needs some time. Like you said, no one wanted this outcome. Including Blaise. I do not know how long it will take for us to repair the damage done, but we're both civil enough to still be able to get along during a time like this. Well, now we are. The fight has been had. I will still help Airlie, of course I will. But that's not something that you're in control of. It's not something Blaise is either past allowing her to stay in the city, and to stay at his home. It is still not my position to tell you what to do. I am only the Toreador Primogen. I do what Blaise says just as you do." Juliette guided him into the mess hall area, still surprised that at least this section of the facility didn't look so clinical. Even Army men valued their food. "Riley, what makes you happy?"

Riley thought on the question for a bit before responding. "I don't know anymore. I used to think I knew, and there were times where I really was so unbelievably happy. At least, I thought I was. Turns out it was all a farce anyway, so I'm not sure I know anymore what it is that is supposed to make me happy. Success at work, I guess. I'm proud of what I've achieved, I'm proud to be in a position like this. Helping people, even if it's not your conventional help like a doctor or a nurse. But beyond that, I really just don't know anymore," he admitted honestly. "Maybe I'm beyond it. The things I thought made me happy ended up being the things that hurt me the most."

Juliette nodded slowly. "A lesson that has haunted Blaise for a very long time. Even me. It's not easy to be happy even when you have decades of searching for it. Or when you have experienced it and then been forced to lose it because you outlive the thing that makes you happy." She looked at him. "Having said that, you are too young to be giving up so easily, Sergeant. Just because things that used to make you happy don't anymore, doesn't mean there isn't something new that could now be the thing to make you happy."

"Have you ever had a lover try to kill you, Juliette? Someone you promised your life to? No? Trust me, when you do, you will understand why I'm not so much giving up as just trying to self-preserve here," Riley repsonded and sat down at one of the tables. It wasn't a meal time, so the place was deserted, thankfully. Riley really didn't want to deal with the questioning gazes right now, or even any attempts to make small talk. It wouldn't be a secret what had occurred in the infirmary anymore. People would be talking, trying to figure out what it all meant. "Then my other lover... never loved me in return. So, right now, I'm just wondering how much energy I have left to take the plunge again."

Juliette left him for a moment to get him a cup of coffee, and a cup of tea for herself. She brought them back to the table and set the drinks down before sitting across from Riley. "Ah, but there is a plunge to take, hm?" she asked, zeroing right in on the words not said. "You and Blaise are not so dissimilar, you know. Perhaps you have taken knocks from love for different reasons, but you are still in the same position. He is probably thinking much the same thing. So he is taking control of the one situation he does know how to deal with."

"And what's that? His work? Job? Whatever he calls it. It probably all blurred together for him ages ago." Riley accepted the coffee gratefully and then scratched his head lightly. "There's someone I'm interested in. Having Buffy show up and what we did together, it nearly screwed that over completely, and at first it confused the hell out of me. Then it just pissed me off. Now it kind of just makes me frustrated to be in Buffy's presence. Then it frustrates me that she can't see what she needs to with Blaise, because even I can blatantly see he is about this close from cutting her off completely," he said, holding his fingers up really close together.

"Love is blind, non? We do not see what we know will hurt us. Just like I did not want to see Rory angry with me even if I made a terrible mistake." Juliette looked down at the tea in front of her, wishing she could actually enjoy the taste instead of only remembering what it tasted like when she was human. "It is neither of our concern if she ever does see that she's making a mistake. My only concern will be trying to ensure my mate is well. I am guilty of trying to push things along between the two of them but only because I do not like to see him ill, or suffering. I thought she could love him like he needed. I was wrong. It is true that things blurred for Blaise, but he loves this city and he loves his Kindred. This someone you are interested in, are they in a rush to plunge?"

Riley watched her closely. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I know I wasn't there, but I heard it was pretty intense. It's not something anyone should have to experience. It makes it worse knowing that it's hard to tell exactly what is Rory and what isn't. I know Blaise has been not quite right lately. He lets it show when no one else is around. I wish I could go in batting for Buffy right now, and promise she is everything he needs, but..." He just trailed off, shaking his tiredly. "The whole plunge thing is sort of irrelevant right now. I've got bigger fish to fry. I'm only telling you this because I need to tell Blaise, but she's CIA. Investigating strange deaths in the city."

Juliette's eyebrow arched just as she was about to take a sip of tea, and she set the cup back down as her back straightened. "CIA? What does she know?"

"Nothing. She won't either, if I have anything to do with it. It just seems someone is targeting American tourists. Killing them in weird ways. Or maybe American tourist death just sticks out more in Paris. I don't know. But can you see what I'm saying here? Nothing ever seems to just be content for me. There's always something. It's exhausting," Riley decided with a rough sigh. "She also has a murdered ex lover. That's something you'll understand the difficulty of."

Juliette pressed her lips together as her eyes flashed briefly but then she relaxed again. "Americans... They are not the only nationality to have ever been murdered in a foreign city. I'm sure for them the fact that two tourists have been killed is enough to send up red flags. Accidents happen. There is not always anything suspicious behind it. Maybe you should just bring her over to your side and then your life would be easier. No covering tracks, always being honest."

Riley just laughed. "Yeah, it's as easy as that. Not. American Military and America Government, really very much not the same thing. I highly doubt it's Kindred she's dealing with. They're deaths, not near deaths. If a Kindred death occurs here, Blaise is onto it like herpes. It rarely happens again in plural. More likely they're dealing with demons, or other spirit forces. Could be a job for Rory, if he was capable."

Juliette's nose scrunched a little in distaste. "That's such a charming image you conjure of him, mon petit chou-chou. It could even be a job for Buffy, non? Maybe cure some of the restlessness she feels in this city. I don't doubt she's not used to being stopped from being the Slayer. So long as she does not hunt Kindred, Blaise might allow her to follow this up. Rory will not be capable for a while."

"Oh sure. If you really for a moment believe Blaise is going to relent and let her go hunting in his city. Why the hell not?" Riley commented sarcastically. "She doesn't know enough about Kindred to distinguish. She might start trying to kill random things, and even end up inadvertently hurting or angering Kindred. How the hell is that going to go down with rabid Brujah already on the loose, huh? Look at the Nosferatu. What do you think she'll do if she sees one of them? She also doesn't know how to recognise a Kindred. No one does. They get wind that she's is working their city, and they are going to be pissed. A lot of the Clans won't buy that a Slayer only kills the 'bad' vampires. They'll be demanding to know why Blaise is tolerating it, they'll be demanding to know why we aren't doing our jobs. I doubt they'll have reason to be as inviting as Blaise is. But by all means, why don't you suggest it to him? Because I'm sure as freaking hell not going to."

Juliette held up her hand. "I understand what you're trying to say, Sergeant. I think the point is clear enough. Still, for the moment she is the Slayer and she will no doubt be restless for things to hunt. Either that, or she'll be in the need of a career change. Neither of which can happen I suspect until Blaise either takes her, or lets her go."

Riley shrugged. "Her problem, not mine," was his abrupt answer. Did it always have to come back to Buffy? What a stupid question. Of course it did, he thought sarcastically to himself. "And for the record, he's been the one doing the giving. She keeps throwing it in his face. She's welcome to walk away any time. I don't see he has her on a leash."

Juliette did take a sip of tea this time, realising she'd probably spoken about Buffy a little too much. "Tell me more about the CIA agent. What drew you to her?"

"Not a lot to tell. I've only seen her a couple of times. She was a waitress in a restaurant I ate at. Undercover, though. Sex drew me to her," Riley admitted, pressing his lips together with a hint of sheepishness. "Everyone was all hooking up with everyone else. I hadn't been with anyone since my divorce... other than Buffy, but yeah. Lucie was at a bar near my home one night, and I just figured what the hell on the sex front. I needed it. I needed it just like everyone else around here needed it. Then we just ran into each other again, and talked a bit. I was still giving her a hard time about things. Projecting. You know how it goes."

Juliette raised her cup in a sort of toast. "All too well, Sergeant. Projecting is something none of us can help. No matter how much wiser we think we are. Sex is never a bad starting point, though. It is at least a nice way to find out that there is chemistry and heat. Passion... Nothing wrong with taking something for yourself either, something that is just yours. I hope that perhaps the plunge will work out if you ever decide to take it."

"Jury's still out. We've agreed to try something. What that something is remains to be seen. Everything here is going to keep me distracted. Then I guess I'll make an effort to get home for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year, see my folks. It's been awhile. I need to show them I'm still alive. Mom doesn't ever quite believe that fact until she can touch me and make sure for herself," Riley said with a laugh of amusement. "Sex is just the easy part. It always was. It's the beyond that scares the hell out of me."

Juliette gave him a smile. "I don't think you're ever alone in that respect. The beyond is scarier even than demons. I'm sure your parents appreciate the fact that you are quite busy with work, and understand. It's still nice that you get home to see them. Clearly I'll never see mine again, but occasionally I check up on descendants... See what my family has become."

"Demons are child's play for me. I'd rather have an army of them than stick my heart out on the line again. That isn't to say I won't do it. I'm just probably going to trip over and fall flat on my face a lot with it before I reach my destination. I've already chewed Lucie out on more than one occasion, but I apologised for it. When I was conscious to remember to do it, that is." Riley brushed his fingers through his hair and then rest his head on his hand. "I miss America. I miss my family. All the Kindred surrounding me all of a sudden, it's the reason why I know I gotta make an effort while I still have them. Are you proud of what they became?"

"You've chewed her out and she's still willing to 'try something'. That says a lot, don't you think?" Juliette shifted in her seat. "You'll be rid of us soon enough, and you can have your boys camp back. Would you go back to being based in America if the opportunity was there? Yes, I am. Perhaps they aren't all as artistic as I am, but they have done the Rousseau name proud. I think maybe I was a hiccup in the genetic make-up."

Riley nodded. "Yeah, of course. I'm not completely cripple in relationships. I can still appreciate an attraction when it's there. I'm still a guy at the end of the day. I want to play with breasts just as much as the next straight guy. I just hope I don't freak out if things start getting a bit more serious, or make her walk on the opposite side of the road to any McDonalds we come close to," he said with a wry snort. "God, I don't know. Maybe not. I've been posted internationally for so long now, since I lived in California when I was with Buffy. I think I prefer it. I'd be restless in America, I think. I can't say it's a country I agree with many choices on anymore, even if I still serve them. For being an artist, or for being Kindred?"

Juliette smirked faintly before hiding it behind her cup of tea as she took another sip. It wasn't as if the liquid was soothing, but at least it gave her something to do with her hands. "I don't think anyone would blame you for that last bit in the slightest. It all takes time, Riley. You just have to make sure it's clear how fast, or slow, you're willing to go. I may not have made you think as much earlier but I am grateful you're in Paris. I think we need your level head. Both," she replied with a sad smile.

"I was telling her. I just felt bad telling her, then I sort of backtracked, so she is probably as confused as hell. Then I passed out for twenty hours in her bed, so I don't even know what she was thinking about that. We talked a bit, before I got the call about what Blaise did here. Graham was his usual charming self telling me I had to get the fuck in here or he would feed my balls to a caged lion... or something along those lines. He gets more creative with the threats the longer I know him," Riley laughed and took a mouthful of his coffee. After a moment of thought, he got up and grabbed a handful of cookies from the communal stash. He watched her as he peeled one open. "You would have died if you weren't Embraced, though. I always wondered what I would do if I was faced with a choice like that."

"Perhaps you could send her some flowers, or a little token to show you're thinking of her?" Juliette suggested with a raise of her eyebrows as she watched Riley with the cookie. "Oui, I would have died, and for that I am actually grateful to have had another chance at life. I realise this wouldn't be everyone's choice, but I like being Kindred. I have enjoyed my time. You have never reached a decision?"

Riley shoved the whole cookie into his mouth, chewing on it thoughtfully. He would slow down after the first one, he would. He was just hungry all of a sudden. Flowers could work. He swallowed. "You don't think that's kinda cliche? I wasn't even sure flowers were still nice anymore. Chicks just seem to get suspicious something is wrong whenever a poor guy buys them." He shrugged. "I don't know. I see what you guys go through. I'm not sure I could cope with it, or the living forever and losing everyone you love thing. It's hard enough being mortal."

Juliette gave a shake of her head. "That's just because connards use them for the wrong reasons. Flowers from a decent guy still mean something. Just be careful what you actually send her. Every flower means something. I can assure you that flowers still bring a smile to a woman's face. It's the thought that counts. She'd only be suspicious if she has reason to be. We don't live forever, just longer than humans. It does have it's downside but still... if it's this, or death..."

Riley laughed. "From you, I take the advice as a compliment. You're stunning, and you're expensive. And trust me, I mean that as a compliment. If you're telling me flowers are special, then I'll get right onto it. Shit, knowing my luck, I'll pick something that tells her to go fuck herself. She might have reason to be. I did sleep with my ex a very short time ago, I'm keeping massive amounts of secrets from her, I can't even commit to knowing I'll have much time to spend with her. And yeah, but still. Five hundred years and going strong like Blaise? It's still forever enough. But a lot of people say death brings peace."

Juliette nodded once in acknowledgement of the compliment. "Merci, Sergeant. I have worked hard to stay 'stunning and expensive'. Even if it's still the simple things that make me happy. They just happen to be beautiful as well. Beauty unfortunately costs money these days. You will do fine, Riley. I have faith in you. All that and she is still interested? Must have been some sexual encounter, oui?" Juliette gave a slight shrug. "We will know when it finally comes. I am still not quite ready to lose him yet, so let us hope that Blaise will find what he needs very soon."

"Though, again, another plus for Embrace, huh? Get to forever keep your youthful looks. Expect when you're hungry, then you just kind of look... sick. Which is fine. I don't look much different when I wake up in the mornings, either. I used to get up and be right into the whole exercise routine when I was being drugged out of my face, but not anymore. I like bed. Yeah, it was a pretty intense encounter. We both were coming out of sex droughts, so I guess we had a lot to make up for. And she's gorgeous. Amazing body," Riley added with a smirk, before he sobered a little and looked at Juliette with a small frown. "I can't talk for Rory here or anything, but... how do you feel when Blaise takes another lover? It's been a long time since he had one. Do you miss him? Or do you guys still make with the sex and feeding thing, despite lovers?"

Juliette had been quietly laughing at the image of Riley getting up in the mornings and launching straight into exercise. It was such a cute and military thing to do. At his question she pushed her tea away from her a little and folded her hands on the table. "Oui, sometimes. It depends on the lovers. I do not miss him. What we are... were... it is beyond lovers. There is always an understanding that things with us might not be so physical when one of us has a lover. But then, there will be feeding. The sex just might not come into it. I would never begrudge him if he cut me off. Of course I wouldn't. I only want his happiness. I also know that I cannot give him what he truly needs, so in that respect I am forced to stand back."

"What if he takes someone you don't like? Has that ever happened?" Riley asked, and had no idea why he was suddenly with the billion questions. Kindred presence was just huge lately, and he was more and more curious about the less business side of things. What he did know what that Blaise was exactly the sort of person Buffy would thrive being with... maybe even finally know what it was like to love someone. But emotions could be funny things. "How do you think Blaise would feel if you claimed Rory? I know, I know. He's all about the no sucking, no control thing right now, but opinions and feelings change. Trust me, I'm walking proof of that."

"If it was something that Rory decided he would want, I don't think it would bother Blaise. Just like I am not bothered by the fact he has claimed Buffy. He has claimed others. It's not isolated to one person. It's not up to me to like who he loves. As long as they love him in return I have no problem with them. I only have a problem if they hurt him." Juliette spoke quietly, finding that the questions were actually helping her stay focused and calm, the anger finally ebbing. "It happened once, but lucky for her she did not hurt Blaise."

Riley frowned in confusion, filing all the information away in his mind. "See, that's what I didn't get. The multiple claiming thing, I was told about that. At the time, I didn't think anything of it. Only, he's clearly been off his game, even if I know he doesn't exhibit that to many people. I thought it was because Buffy was being difficult and not easily coming to the whole claiming party. But that doesn't make sense if there are others. So, my question would be, why is he off his game if it's not the lack of fulfilment in the claim? So... you must have been feeling a bit like you want to give Buffy a right slap lately, right? I don't know if it's hurt in your description, but he seems upset over the whole thing. See, I know. When he won't talk about it."

Juliette leaned forward as another soldier came into the hall and dropped her voice low. As far as she was concerned the conversation with Riley was private and if he didn't understand the silent agreement then she'd make sure he did the moment he breathed a word of the contents to anyone else. "He claims the ones he wants to keep close, the people that mean something to him. It's not necessarily about love. His claim over Buffy was to free her from the claim that other dirty vampire had over her. She clearly took it to mean more, and now we have the confusion. He feels as if it was a mistake, and he's starting to regret it. He really is close to cutting his losses unless she does something to change his mind. I don't want to slap her, I just want her to be what he needs. He's sick because he's been deprived of love for so long. It's his fuel."

Riley pursed his lips briefly and started tearing into another cookie. There really was no love lost for Angel. At all. "To be blatant here, I have doubted Buffy could ever be out of the clutches of that bastard. I think she wants to be, even if he's not around anymore. It's like some sort of security blanket. But trust me, Blaise is so far beyond the tosser, it's not even funny. I don't know why she can't wake up and smell the roses. It's not like we can shove her face in them, though. I tried that, and she goes off in a huff again. She doesn't like being told she's wrong. Especially not about vampires. She feels she should have that under control. She's just failing to see that Kindred aren't vampires... not in the sense she has been taught, anyway."

Juliette tilted her head as she listened to Riley. "First loves are hard to let go of, non? Just like your Graham perhaps doubted you would ever be out of her clutches. People that mean something to us will always draw us back in. It can be difficult to make a true break from them. I wouldn't like being told I was wrong about art, or music. When you have been brought up to be an 'authority' and suddenly told there is a whole chunk you are missing - why wouldn't you get a little put out? I cannot be mad at her for not getting it. I know Blaise is, clearly you are. But you have been around us longer than she has. She has known for... a month? Something like that. Do you not remember what you were like a month into being here?"

Riley looked up at Juliette. "Apparently. It's easier when they didn't love you back. I just happen to think how much she is clutching onto the past is nothing but a boot to Blaise's balls. I'm sorry, but I do. What chance does he have if she wants to keep living in that past fantasy, that really never was. The bastard was cursed. Long story. You can't be mad, but I can. It's not fair. And that's not fair. I was a month out of a divorce where my wife tried to kill me. Not the same thing."

Juliette pointed at him. "Maybe it isn't the same thing, but everyone starts on the same knowledge level. One of zero. The Masquerade is as successful as it is because no one knows unless they have to. Even Rory might have made a few judgement errors in the beginning. The Childer, Airlie, she is as lost as any Childer but we are not angered by her not suddenly waking up with instant knowledge. You and Blaise are angered by her determination to hang onto what she knows, but if you are tossed into a world you do not understand, or are not prepared for - that is what you do. It is human instinct."

"Maybe. And I'm not denying what you're saying at all. But you and I both know it's a whole different and unique story with Blaise. She'll lose him if she doesn't get her finger out. End of story. Even in the most basic things he has been trying to invite her into his world with, she gets all bent out of joint about it. Like the fact Blaise feeds on me. Well, I'm sorry, but tough shit. She made her choice about me a long, long time ago. She doesn't get to judge on him feeding on me, or the fact I let him when she has been vampire meals on a regular basis herself," Riley insisted, folding the empty cookie wrapper over neatly. "If something like that is wrong in her eyes, she's got no hope. All I think she needs to do is stop and listen to what we're all saying. I wouldn't underestimate Rory, either. My research tells me he'd never go into anything half-cocked. He knows his stuff as a Hunter, and he has been Airlie's protector when her Sire bailed."

Juliette couldn't help but smile a little in amusement. "Non, I think from what I've heard she's only been bitten twice. Hardly a regular vampire meal. She's not used to the ones that still feed on humans, I think. Not like Kindred. But then I think she's used to those connards that aren't happy until they've drained some poor soul. And so messy. Merde, all those bite marks and tearing of the skin. Very poor etiquette. Not that I do not understand what you're saying, and it is true that she has been ignoring Blaise's own invitations. Poor girl had never worn diamonds before, and thought she had to give them back... Very sad. I think that is something this world has lost... a knowledge that when something is given as a gift, it is to remain as a gift. It is not something to give back, even when things turn sour. Rory is wise beyond his years, but he has been hurt so terribly. I only hope he does have the strength to recover... to try and reclaim himself."

"The actual events aside, it's about what she wanted. The fact of what she wanted is what puts her in no place to judge." Riley just gave a small snort and shook his head. "Now you're the one with inaccurate facts. Blaise told me what happened with the diamonds. She gave them back because he took offense at something she said and she buggered off in another walk away session she does so well when things don't go her way. Seriously. What more did he have to tell her to indicate they were gifts? Did she want him to write it in blood? Don't answer that. Bad choice of words. Maybe she did. I don't know. All I know if that if I was Blaise after that, I wouldn't have given her a second chance to screw me over. Yeah, I know I'm harsh, but I can't help it. I've been proverbially slapped in the face by Buffy. I know how it feels. Rory won't give up, he's already fought for too much. It's exactly why the rage would have destroyed him."

"D'accord, I concede. And the truth is I saw Blaise after the fact. She is a very lucky woman to still be let near him, but she did have to come to him. He was never going to go to her. Not after that. Now we just have to wait and see what will happen. And you just need to focus on your Lucie. Get her the flowers, oui? And remember to write something nice on the card. Don't let the florist choose the words for you," Juliette told him with a knowing look. "Still, I think if Rory does not get a chance to have a family... He won't really be happy. Maybe he's fought, but he's still yearning for that one thing that got away from him. Another chance at it."

Riley nodded slowly. "Yeah, he seems to, from what I've heard any way. Maybe the brother can shed a bit more light on that. I guess that's a sort of yearning that would be hard to just shake, especially if you're a natural parent, and have had it before. I don't know. I've never gotten to the stage of kids being on the menu in any way. It's not like he could replace his baby daughter, but he might not ever truly be at rest with what happened before he tries again to get it right. It's just a really hard thing to think about when you've never experienced it, you know? It would probably be easy for us to say we could give up children for other things, but to have had it and had it ripped away, it would just be... different."

Juliette nodded. "Or if you're Kindred, the option is never there. We would only be a parent if a mortal we were with had a child. Even then, we would out live them. We are destined to outlive any family we have. It's a very sad prospect, and makes any decision to try and have some sort of family a complicated one. Blaise asked me about being a mother. I think even Rory did at one stage... All I know is that Rory wanting to be a father is a huge part of him, and a part of him that attracts me as much as everything else."

"This right here is why I could never be sure of your world to make the choice to be Embraced. I guess there are still parts of my world I want to experience before giving it away," Riley realised quietly, even if he was pretty sure he had missed the marriage and babies boat. He would be thirty soon, and was still pretty much married to his job. His job wasn't something he was sure he wanted to give up on either. The hard part there would be that Rory would have to conceive a kid with another person to try again, and that's a whole can of worms right there."

Juliette tapped the side of her tea cup. "Précisément. And to be honest, I think it was a factor in why I was trying to cut him off. I would never be able to give him a family, and as much as I realise there are modern ways for a baby to be created, to me it is still an intimate act between two people. I do not think I want to share him that much with another woman. Je suis egoiste. There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay in your world. If there are still experiences you wish to have, then the choice is made."

"Then maybe you just need to resolve to take each day like I am with Lucie? To be honest, I couldn't take it any other way. If you just keep it easy and fun, it's better than nothing right? Maybe that's why he doesn't want you feeding on him," Riley suggested in thought. "He doesn't know how much he can really promise you if he doesn't even know how to make himself happy."

Juliette smiled at Riley before her gaze dropped to her cup of tea. "One day at a time is probably something I could do. And accept. I gave up on planning ahead a long time ago. Forever seems far too infinite and lonely if you have to try and keep planning for it."

Riley gave her a small smile and cleared his throat. "Sometimes even next week seems far too infinite and lonely. Planning only gets you booted up the ass anyway, and I am yet to meet anyone who is actually a fan of getting their ass kicked."