..grief strikes hard;;even when you are looking..
~tonight i witnessed and felt an emanating sorrow so deep from a group of people so new to my life.. and it hurt me.. such a short time have i been getting to know them and yet, when i looked in their eyes and heard their choked breath it ached inside of me and i felt like i was going to break apart somewhere.. i felt tears threatening to pour and i fought them back knowing i needed to be strong.. this isn't really my heartache and loss, not personally, but yet, it is.. and i feel it.. it's just not as deep as theirs.. of course.. but i wanted to be something solid for nathan to lean on.. someone that he could crumble to if need be.. and i am a bit scared.. i don't know how to do this.. i don't know how to act, or what to do to be what i'm needed right now.. i've never had to go through this.. to suffer with someone, or so many people, that i care about.. the days, weeks or however long it may be, ahead are going to be hard.. and i'm going to be all that i can and do whatever it is that i need to to be nathan's strength.. he needs me and i do not want to let him down.. i love him, and while he's hurting, he needs to know that even more.. and his family as well..
~uncle frank was a beautiful person.. i barely knew him, but what i knew was wonderful.. he told me how he approved of me with nathan and that he believed it was a great thing.. i saw him last on Christmas night, just over 2 weeks ago.. now, he's gone.. i thank God that i was with nathan when it happened and he had to hear the news.. and i hope, and pray that so far i'm doing a good enough job.. i also thank God for having been able to meet uncle frank..
Dear God~~
please grant me the strength and ability to be strong and sensible and understanding.. to be what is needed of me at this time of pain and confusion.. to be there for these new people in my life that i care so much for.. i pray for You to be with them and grant them strength and wisdom and understanding when they need it the most.. i pray for uncle frank.. that he is happy and healthy again now and that You care for him and hold him and let him know that You will be there for his family as they grieve.. i pray for Your love and grace and all that You have to grant all those who need You so desperately.. i also want to thank you for giving me the oppurtunity to know uncle frank, if only for such a short time.. it was a blessing..
in Jesus name i pray this..
Ahem
R.I.P
Frank Ryder
Jan. 9, 2006..
..may God be with you and you with Him.. remember how much you're loved..
:*(
~uncle frank was a beautiful person.. i barely knew him, but what i knew was wonderful.. he told me how he approved of me with nathan and that he believed it was a great thing.. i saw him last on Christmas night, just over 2 weeks ago.. now, he's gone.. i thank God that i was with nathan when it happened and he had to hear the news.. and i hope, and pray that so far i'm doing a good enough job.. i also thank God for having been able to meet uncle frank..
Dear God~~
please grant me the strength and ability to be strong and sensible and understanding.. to be what is needed of me at this time of pain and confusion.. to be there for these new people in my life that i care so much for.. i pray for You to be with them and grant them strength and wisdom and understanding when they need it the most.. i pray for uncle frank.. that he is happy and healthy again now and that You care for him and hold him and let him know that You will be there for his family as they grieve.. i pray for Your love and grace and all that You have to grant all those who need You so desperately.. i also want to thank you for giving me the oppurtunity to know uncle frank, if only for such a short time.. it was a blessing..
in Jesus name i pray this..
Ahem
R.I.P
Frank Ryder
Jan. 9, 2006..
..may God be with you and you with Him.. remember how much you're loved..
:*(