[TMS] Soldier
[Set in wayward_au. Alec is smart_alec494 and used with permission from his mun who asked for an Alec/Amy kiss.]
It was one of those things where she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Not releasing Lucifer. That she knew exactly what she was doing, and it wasn’t for the sex and it wasn’t for the loyalty. It was because she knew exactly what it was like to be trapped like that, in someone else’s body as a punishment. She knew how it had to be for him. How it was worse than being stuck behind the seals because back there he didn’t know what he was missing. He couldn’t watch. When he was trapped in Sam, he could see all the world he was missing. He could see, but he couldn’t touch. Couldn’t experience. And as much as she disliked doing it to Sam, it needed to be done.
Because either the angels would strike him down and put him back where he belonged, or Lucifer would win. And either way, it would be happening on Lucifer’s terms, not the angelic bastards who used to call themselves their brothers. Besides, this was what the angels wanted, after all. They wanted to end things. To bring paradise. To get rid of the human problem.
She was just playing her role.
She hated war. It was taxing. It drained everything she had emotionally and physically, and the war had barely even lasted a week. Apocalyptic events tended to rely on a lot happening all at once, and the angels tried to hold the line for a long time before Gabriel took the next step to landing Michael. And after that, no demon stood a snowball’s chance in Hell. No pun intended.
Her showdown with Raphael happened in Vegas of all places. She wasn’t sure how he found her-once Lucifer made it clear that that was his endgame she came up with an excuse to skip town and be elsewhere so she didn’t have to watch. She wasn’t running away. If he asked her to come back, she would, but she wouldn’t be somewhere where it wasn’t demanded of her. She wasn’t hunting, maiming, or killing, just-present. In attendance. And that was all that Raphael needed.
And in the end, it was that move that cost him more than her. Luck had been on her side, more than anything. A lucky stab upwards with the sword right through his neck and Raphael, her former brother, was down for the count. She collapsed soon after, weak with the injuries she’d sustained and just without the energy to haul herself out of there like she should have. She was a sitting duck, and honestly, at that point, she would have rather someone else come and finish the job Raphael started. It wasn’t like she had much to look forward to after the war anyway.
Those burns still hadn’t healed months after there were sustained, even though they should have by now. She wasn’t sure if it was her subconscious or the fact that angelically induced wounds were just that hard to heal. However, there was only so long she could go without being touched, and once things were okay between her and Alec again, it was a bit hard to deny that that was really what she wanted.
It had taken her a long time to figure out why exactly it was in Alec that she had connected to so much, why she felt such an urge to take care of him, but it was there. A need to hold him close and make sure he was okay, and sure-the sex was great, but that wasn’t all of it. It was the cuddling that she had really craved, even though she knew she had screwed up. And when she finally got it back, she knew exactly why.
They were both soldiers, in their own way. Strong but forced into something that they didn’t understand and where they didn’t have a choice. She was far beyond the point of not understanding why her brothers did the things they did, but when she had met him, he was right in the middle of it, and she had been there to try and help. And she knew that when she had chosen Lucifer over his family, it had hurt him far more than she had intended to. But on some level, he had been right about loyalties. Lucifer’s friendship was older than his. And therefore her duty was to him first.
She kept her distance at first. Not wanting to give away what the battles had done to her, but eventually she knew it would come up. She could have gotten another body, but she was attached to this one, and so was he. So when he finally noticed the pain, there wasn’t any way of getting around it, or the questions that came with it.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes looking over her arm and side carefully, before glancing back at her.
“I’m fine, honey,” she sighed, shifting away when his hands started to tread on painful territory. “Just still stings a bit. Kind of a reminder that I did a bad bad thing, that’s all.”
He looked at her for a minute, before nodding and settling closer to her, letting her pull the sweatshirt back down over her skin. “How’d it happen?”
“Raphael.”
“Is he still around?”
“No,” she sighed. “Self-defense, but still-no longer with us.”
He was quiet for a minute. “And when you say Raphael-”
“I mean the Raphael.”
“Wow.”
“He always was a bit of a dick,” she sighed. “Even when I was an angel.”
Alec nodded softly, before shifting to rest his hand gently on her side again, over her shirt. It hurt, but not too much. Just enough for it to be a pleasurable pain. “Are they gonna clear up?” It was a valid question-the battle had been months ago.
“Eventually,” she nodded, before shifting in his arms a bit and leaning in to kiss him softly. “Don’t worry about me, sweetie. I’m tough. I can take it.”
“I know,” he said softly, curling into her again as he settled in closer. “I know.”
1026 words
It was one of those things where she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Not releasing Lucifer. That she knew exactly what she was doing, and it wasn’t for the sex and it wasn’t for the loyalty. It was because she knew exactly what it was like to be trapped like that, in someone else’s body as a punishment. She knew how it had to be for him. How it was worse than being stuck behind the seals because back there he didn’t know what he was missing. He couldn’t watch. When he was trapped in Sam, he could see all the world he was missing. He could see, but he couldn’t touch. Couldn’t experience. And as much as she disliked doing it to Sam, it needed to be done.
Because either the angels would strike him down and put him back where he belonged, or Lucifer would win. And either way, it would be happening on Lucifer’s terms, not the angelic bastards who used to call themselves their brothers. Besides, this was what the angels wanted, after all. They wanted to end things. To bring paradise. To get rid of the human problem.
She was just playing her role.
She hated war. It was taxing. It drained everything she had emotionally and physically, and the war had barely even lasted a week. Apocalyptic events tended to rely on a lot happening all at once, and the angels tried to hold the line for a long time before Gabriel took the next step to landing Michael. And after that, no demon stood a snowball’s chance in Hell. No pun intended.
Her showdown with Raphael happened in Vegas of all places. She wasn’t sure how he found her-once Lucifer made it clear that that was his endgame she came up with an excuse to skip town and be elsewhere so she didn’t have to watch. She wasn’t running away. If he asked her to come back, she would, but she wouldn’t be somewhere where it wasn’t demanded of her. She wasn’t hunting, maiming, or killing, just-present. In attendance. And that was all that Raphael needed.
And in the end, it was that move that cost him more than her. Luck had been on her side, more than anything. A lucky stab upwards with the sword right through his neck and Raphael, her former brother, was down for the count. She collapsed soon after, weak with the injuries she’d sustained and just without the energy to haul herself out of there like she should have. She was a sitting duck, and honestly, at that point, she would have rather someone else come and finish the job Raphael started. It wasn’t like she had much to look forward to after the war anyway.
Those burns still hadn’t healed months after there were sustained, even though they should have by now. She wasn’t sure if it was her subconscious or the fact that angelically induced wounds were just that hard to heal. However, there was only so long she could go without being touched, and once things were okay between her and Alec again, it was a bit hard to deny that that was really what she wanted.
It had taken her a long time to figure out why exactly it was in Alec that she had connected to so much, why she felt such an urge to take care of him, but it was there. A need to hold him close and make sure he was okay, and sure-the sex was great, but that wasn’t all of it. It was the cuddling that she had really craved, even though she knew she had screwed up. And when she finally got it back, she knew exactly why.
They were both soldiers, in their own way. Strong but forced into something that they didn’t understand and where they didn’t have a choice. She was far beyond the point of not understanding why her brothers did the things they did, but when she had met him, he was right in the middle of it, and she had been there to try and help. And she knew that when she had chosen Lucifer over his family, it had hurt him far more than she had intended to. But on some level, he had been right about loyalties. Lucifer’s friendship was older than his. And therefore her duty was to him first.
She kept her distance at first. Not wanting to give away what the battles had done to her, but eventually she knew it would come up. She could have gotten another body, but she was attached to this one, and so was he. So when he finally noticed the pain, there wasn’t any way of getting around it, or the questions that came with it.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes looking over her arm and side carefully, before glancing back at her.
“I’m fine, honey,” she sighed, shifting away when his hands started to tread on painful territory. “Just still stings a bit. Kind of a reminder that I did a bad bad thing, that’s all.”
He looked at her for a minute, before nodding and settling closer to her, letting her pull the sweatshirt back down over her skin. “How’d it happen?”
“Raphael.”
“Is he still around?”
“No,” she sighed. “Self-defense, but still-no longer with us.”
He was quiet for a minute. “And when you say Raphael-”
“I mean the Raphael.”
“Wow.”
“He always was a bit of a dick,” she sighed. “Even when I was an angel.”
Alec nodded softly, before shifting to rest his hand gently on her side again, over her shirt. It hurt, but not too much. Just enough for it to be a pleasurable pain. “Are they gonna clear up?” It was a valid question-the battle had been months ago.
“Eventually,” she nodded, before shifting in his arms a bit and leaning in to kiss him softly. “Don’t worry about me, sweetie. I’m tough. I can take it.”
“I know,” he said softly, curling into her again as he settled in closer. “I know.”
1026 words