That's not an album, that's an EP!
Well the album/EP/whatever the fuck you want to call it is completed, and it's clocking in at about 6 songs, 4 less than what I had previously anticipated. There's a reason for this however, and grammar freaks step off because this rant is bound to drive you wild, anyway, the reason is this: this disc was supposed to basically sum up my life and the way I've been feeling and the things I've been going through over approximately the past year and a half of my life, and I feel that it's done that, and anything else that was coming from me musically was extraneous and a little forced, and I was crumbling under the weight and pressure of trying to get this done and accomplish it, and I was just churning out formulaic uninspired drivel. So I stopped. I examined it and said you know what, fucking A this is it, and I'm proud of it, and I think anyone would be, so now whats left to rant about? I've all ready discussed these tracks till I've been blue in the face but I'll do it again in context of the album, and as it stands I've decided that all things considered the best way to sequence the disc was to do so chronologically as it simply makes more sense that way, so first things first.
Alien- This track has widely been heralded as my best, while I don't necessarily agree with that, I do take pride in it and appreciate it for what it is. As far as how it relates to the album, it introduces you to me I think, you see the hopeless romantic and you see his issues with communication and just the themes of alienation in general and that maybe he clings to his hobbies and his music as not so much a reason, but maybe an excuse, for the way he is.
Down On My Knees- This track is kind of interesting for odd reasons I guess, its always kind of a gray area when discussing Sara but oh well, my album my music my life, and she was a part of it, but there was a conscious effort on my part to limit her role and influence on the disc, because while she was a part of my life, she was in fact just that, a part, and I didn't want the album to be Songs About Sara, but anyway, between this and Alien it kind of glosses over our actual relationship, that spot was filled by The World We Live, but ultimately I decided that contextually it threw the flow out the window because it made our character go from sad to happy to sad to happy and I didn't want him looking manic so I decided to have him going through strife all the way to the end and then he makes it out on the other side, but yeah, this track finds the character coming off the end of a relationship and ok I won't lie, the dude was desperate, let's be honest, he was, the strange thing is that it's not so much a song about really wanting to get back together or anything, but really just to maintain a presence in one anothers life, because the hardest part for me then and even a little now is that, its tough for me to accept that there are things in life that a person can say or do that ultimately they will never be forgiven for, and I can't change the past but I've learned from it and in life you have to take the good with the bad, so while it saddens me that things ended the way they did, life goes on.
Damaged Ones- I think there's a bit of a misconception out there that this song is about Sara as well, but I'll dispell that rumor here and say that its not, it was composed within close proximity to Down On My Knees so there was obviously still some residual influence, but as to it being overtly about her as in The World We Live or Down On My Knees, then no its not. This song initially appears personal and in a way it is but at the same time its detached, and it takes the concept of love and relationships and looks at it externally under a magnifying glass and our character and other characters in the plot line seem to be apprehensive about love and enter things such as relationships with their gaurds up as a means of self preservation, so they would be the damaged ones, and I feel sorry for them, because there's more to life than just fear...
Easy Lover- This song has been subject to a fair bit of scrutiny because on the surface its seemingly about a prostitute, but in actuality it's about the two characters, the man and the woman, but mainly about the man. If you've been following the story then the main character is a guy who initially, well, the dude's got problems, and then he goes through that relationship, and his problems get magnified x10, then he takes those problems of his and he analyzes the world and filters it through himself and tries to see where he might fit in. And for guys its the comfort of a woman and for women its the comfort of a man, and its that comfort that can ease pain and make life seem a little more bearable, so naturally he wants to ease his pain but he has his issues and he has his problems so he looks for an easy way out, and it comes through the prostitute, now before anyone goes getting the wrong idea that since this is the story of the past year and a half of my life that i've been with a prostitute then get your facts straight because I have not, its just the hypothesis that the character will someday go down a route that is not in line with his present morals and ideals, at this point in time I still believe in things like innocence and love and all other hopeless romantic such things, i'm not bitter yet...
Bleed In, Bleed Out- I guess if there was a song on the disc that was about my father then this song would be it, its kind of masqueraded behind the love of men and women, only because thats the easiest to write about and the least frowned upon, but the track itself is just about the pain that can come from loving someone, but moreso the pain that comes from being helpless when you love someone, and if you want to filter it through the context of the album then we have a character who has loved and lost and has felt as those the situations were beyond his power and control to make them better, so there you go...
It's A New Day- Happily, this is my album closer, and if I could ever in life nail the vocal track, it would probably be my favorite song, I just feel that its epic and anthemic, but thats musically. Contextually, we have the character finally putting his right foot forward and moving on with life, realizing that there is bad in the world but there is good, and the things he's experienced have made him a better person, and that it is a new day, and with each new day there are chances for new experiences and great things, I think your perception of life and your understanding of important things changes when you look at life through the eyes of the dead and the dying and the newly living. You realize that life is simply too short to be pent up with bitterness, to hold grudges, to have enemies, to have hate in your heart, that negativity will only bring you down and some day it catches up with you. You realize that every moment is fleeting and to appreciate it while you're in it and something as seemingly trivial as being able to say hello to a family member in the morning is something that at some point in your life you will regret for having taken it for granted, and I know that not everybody in the world thinks like I do, I know not everyone is as humble, or has their eye on the world view, I know there's a lot of selfishness in this world, but if after almost 20 years of living my beliefs haven't been destroyed, then I doubt anything will, I still believe in people, I still believe in love, I still believe that good conquers evil, and that one day the world will open its eyes and see that there is nothing to be gained from fighting, and thats where I am in my life right now, it's a new day and I'm feeling fine, it's a new day for me, a new day for you, a new day for the world. I hate to sound preachy, but its true, don't waste your lives people, don't look back and have regrets, if you're gonna go, go all out, be passionate in the things you do, be passionate in the things you believe in, change the world, make a difference, don't take things for granted and always always always let the people you love know that you love them and that you appreciate them for the things they do and the role they have in your life.
With all that said I guess it's time for the grand unveiling, yes, we're sealing the deal on this disc, and giving it an official title: A Question of Pride.
And now time for a new rant, I think the title is fitting, if you think about it, its mainly coming from the themes of Bleed In, Bleed Out and It's a new day, but I think far too often we let our pride keep us from doing things we want to do, and too often we let pride ruin things that are important to us. Pride destroys things, and I said the line before but also there was a song I was working on called Question of Pride but ultimately it felt a little extraneous, I liked the lyrics and the concept though, so with that I'll say that if there's anything you take from this rant it should be life is too short to be pent up with bitterness, to only know the feeling of regrets kiss. Swallow your pride, let yourself do the things you want to do...
Anyway, I swear this is the end, the first five people that leave me a comment saying they would like a copy of the disc with artwork and all that jazz will get one, I don't even care if you live out of state, I will mail one, just be one of the first five...ready, set, go!
Alien- This track has widely been heralded as my best, while I don't necessarily agree with that, I do take pride in it and appreciate it for what it is. As far as how it relates to the album, it introduces you to me I think, you see the hopeless romantic and you see his issues with communication and just the themes of alienation in general and that maybe he clings to his hobbies and his music as not so much a reason, but maybe an excuse, for the way he is.
Down On My Knees- This track is kind of interesting for odd reasons I guess, its always kind of a gray area when discussing Sara but oh well, my album my music my life, and she was a part of it, but there was a conscious effort on my part to limit her role and influence on the disc, because while she was a part of my life, she was in fact just that, a part, and I didn't want the album to be Songs About Sara, but anyway, between this and Alien it kind of glosses over our actual relationship, that spot was filled by The World We Live, but ultimately I decided that contextually it threw the flow out the window because it made our character go from sad to happy to sad to happy and I didn't want him looking manic so I decided to have him going through strife all the way to the end and then he makes it out on the other side, but yeah, this track finds the character coming off the end of a relationship and ok I won't lie, the dude was desperate, let's be honest, he was, the strange thing is that it's not so much a song about really wanting to get back together or anything, but really just to maintain a presence in one anothers life, because the hardest part for me then and even a little now is that, its tough for me to accept that there are things in life that a person can say or do that ultimately they will never be forgiven for, and I can't change the past but I've learned from it and in life you have to take the good with the bad, so while it saddens me that things ended the way they did, life goes on.
Damaged Ones- I think there's a bit of a misconception out there that this song is about Sara as well, but I'll dispell that rumor here and say that its not, it was composed within close proximity to Down On My Knees so there was obviously still some residual influence, but as to it being overtly about her as in The World We Live or Down On My Knees, then no its not. This song initially appears personal and in a way it is but at the same time its detached, and it takes the concept of love and relationships and looks at it externally under a magnifying glass and our character and other characters in the plot line seem to be apprehensive about love and enter things such as relationships with their gaurds up as a means of self preservation, so they would be the damaged ones, and I feel sorry for them, because there's more to life than just fear...
Easy Lover- This song has been subject to a fair bit of scrutiny because on the surface its seemingly about a prostitute, but in actuality it's about the two characters, the man and the woman, but mainly about the man. If you've been following the story then the main character is a guy who initially, well, the dude's got problems, and then he goes through that relationship, and his problems get magnified x10, then he takes those problems of his and he analyzes the world and filters it through himself and tries to see where he might fit in. And for guys its the comfort of a woman and for women its the comfort of a man, and its that comfort that can ease pain and make life seem a little more bearable, so naturally he wants to ease his pain but he has his issues and he has his problems so he looks for an easy way out, and it comes through the prostitute, now before anyone goes getting the wrong idea that since this is the story of the past year and a half of my life that i've been with a prostitute then get your facts straight because I have not, its just the hypothesis that the character will someday go down a route that is not in line with his present morals and ideals, at this point in time I still believe in things like innocence and love and all other hopeless romantic such things, i'm not bitter yet...
Bleed In, Bleed Out- I guess if there was a song on the disc that was about my father then this song would be it, its kind of masqueraded behind the love of men and women, only because thats the easiest to write about and the least frowned upon, but the track itself is just about the pain that can come from loving someone, but moreso the pain that comes from being helpless when you love someone, and if you want to filter it through the context of the album then we have a character who has loved and lost and has felt as those the situations were beyond his power and control to make them better, so there you go...
It's A New Day- Happily, this is my album closer, and if I could ever in life nail the vocal track, it would probably be my favorite song, I just feel that its epic and anthemic, but thats musically. Contextually, we have the character finally putting his right foot forward and moving on with life, realizing that there is bad in the world but there is good, and the things he's experienced have made him a better person, and that it is a new day, and with each new day there are chances for new experiences and great things, I think your perception of life and your understanding of important things changes when you look at life through the eyes of the dead and the dying and the newly living. You realize that life is simply too short to be pent up with bitterness, to hold grudges, to have enemies, to have hate in your heart, that negativity will only bring you down and some day it catches up with you. You realize that every moment is fleeting and to appreciate it while you're in it and something as seemingly trivial as being able to say hello to a family member in the morning is something that at some point in your life you will regret for having taken it for granted, and I know that not everybody in the world thinks like I do, I know not everyone is as humble, or has their eye on the world view, I know there's a lot of selfishness in this world, but if after almost 20 years of living my beliefs haven't been destroyed, then I doubt anything will, I still believe in people, I still believe in love, I still believe that good conquers evil, and that one day the world will open its eyes and see that there is nothing to be gained from fighting, and thats where I am in my life right now, it's a new day and I'm feeling fine, it's a new day for me, a new day for you, a new day for the world. I hate to sound preachy, but its true, don't waste your lives people, don't look back and have regrets, if you're gonna go, go all out, be passionate in the things you do, be passionate in the things you believe in, change the world, make a difference, don't take things for granted and always always always let the people you love know that you love them and that you appreciate them for the things they do and the role they have in your life.
With all that said I guess it's time for the grand unveiling, yes, we're sealing the deal on this disc, and giving it an official title: A Question of Pride.
And now time for a new rant, I think the title is fitting, if you think about it, its mainly coming from the themes of Bleed In, Bleed Out and It's a new day, but I think far too often we let our pride keep us from doing things we want to do, and too often we let pride ruin things that are important to us. Pride destroys things, and I said the line before but also there was a song I was working on called Question of Pride but ultimately it felt a little extraneous, I liked the lyrics and the concept though, so with that I'll say that if there's anything you take from this rant it should be life is too short to be pent up with bitterness, to only know the feeling of regrets kiss. Swallow your pride, let yourself do the things you want to do...
Anyway, I swear this is the end, the first five people that leave me a comment saying they would like a copy of the disc with artwork and all that jazz will get one, I don't even care if you live out of state, I will mail one, just be one of the first five...ready, set, go!