Hmmmmmm
Well, noone reads this but people who want me dead.. so this goes out to all of you. Fuck off..... to anyone who has ever been in love, you will understand my torment. Loving two people and not knowing what to do tears you up. Obligations to your family tear you up, knowing you are about to crush someone tears you up. Noone understands what my heart and head are feeling. Noone is inside my head noone is inside my heart. This kills me more than anyone will ever know. and i know noone will believe me. You all think im some heartless bitch who needed someome to piss nick off.. and when it stopped working or i got bored i traded him in. That isnt how this is. I thought I stopped loving nick, In reality i think i was just so mad that i made myself think that. Then i fell in love with Joe, completly and madly in love. Loving two people fucks you up. One is the father of my son, and the man i vowed to spend my entire life with. The other is a wonderful man who treated me like a queen, and made my heart smile. Both have downsides, but both won my heart. I chose the one who had it first. To me that was the only solution. I know noone will understand or accept this, and I dont really give a shit. You all think i did this on purpose and all you see is how upset he is. Noone sees me cry about it. Noone sees me mope around. So dont assume this is easy on me. I will always love Joe. And he knows that. And as long as he and I have this worked out, i dont care what anyone else thinks. The world can fuck off....