*ahem*
"At my old job, my mortal enemies were the posters extolling Christian values, and the ladies who show up at four minutes to closing and don't know what they want to buy. Here, it's melted cheese."
"I'm not sure if that's a step up, really."
"Me neither. But I'm writing a Shakespearean drama about it. I stab at thee from the heart of darkness! Vex me not, oh melty temptress! Appeal not to my sense of appitite, for I know you are capable of adherance most foul, as a black black spot upon my soul...."
"*crickets*"
"I'm not sure if that's a step up, really."
"Me neither. But I'm writing a Shakespearean drama about it. I stab at thee from the heart of darkness! Vex me not, oh melty temptress! Appeal not to my sense of appitite, for I know you are capable of adherance most foul, as a black black spot upon my soul...."
"*crickets*"