(no subject)
"adios melancolia
le agradesco la poesia
que entre versos hoy me deja
confesarle a esta mujer
que me saque la loteria cuando la vi"
so i had....a not so good day yesterday. doubt. jealousy. anger. questions. i didnt know what to do.. i still dont. i'm so lost. so confused. i'm trying to figure it out... but it's so hard when i dont even know what's really going on.. i dont know. i keep changing my mind every 5 seconds about things.
jill and seth kinda helped calm me down. they cleared my mind for a bit. i hung out with jill all afternoon. i hadnt relaxed that much in such a long time. i'm gona miss her when she leaves. but i'm happy for her. she's living her fairytale.
as for me... hahaha. how lame, but i always hoped for a romantic life. meeting a stranger. seeing him in awkward places and knowing that i had to meet that person. soon enough falling in love. unconditionaly. i guess it goes through most girls' head...those mushy thoughts. i just wanted something i could say was close to perfect. but i keep ending up in... ruts. in thoughts i cant get out of.
i'm not happy.
i'm not happy with what i have right now. it seems like.... i dont know maybe it's because everyone tells me so, but i want better. i want more than what i have. i want to run around with a smile on my face. i want to know that no matter what's going on i can turn to that happiness that's always there...
but it never ends up like that.
im tired of trying
im tired of being patient
and waiting for that change to show
im tired of having to tell you what's wrong
or having to tell u what's going to happen if everything keeps going the way it is.
im tired.
disappointed.
lonely.
exhausted.
le agradesco la poesia
que entre versos hoy me deja
confesarle a esta mujer
que me saque la loteria cuando la vi"
so i had....a not so good day yesterday. doubt. jealousy. anger. questions. i didnt know what to do.. i still dont. i'm so lost. so confused. i'm trying to figure it out... but it's so hard when i dont even know what's really going on.. i dont know. i keep changing my mind every 5 seconds about things.
jill and seth kinda helped calm me down. they cleared my mind for a bit. i hung out with jill all afternoon. i hadnt relaxed that much in such a long time. i'm gona miss her when she leaves. but i'm happy for her. she's living her fairytale.
as for me... hahaha. how lame, but i always hoped for a romantic life. meeting a stranger. seeing him in awkward places and knowing that i had to meet that person. soon enough falling in love. unconditionaly. i guess it goes through most girls' head...those mushy thoughts. i just wanted something i could say was close to perfect. but i keep ending up in... ruts. in thoughts i cant get out of.
i'm not happy.
i'm not happy with what i have right now. it seems like.... i dont know maybe it's because everyone tells me so, but i want better. i want more than what i have. i want to run around with a smile on my face. i want to know that no matter what's going on i can turn to that happiness that's always there...
but it never ends up like that.
im tired of trying
im tired of being patient
and waiting for that change to show
im tired of having to tell you what's wrong
or having to tell u what's going to happen if everything keeps going the way it is.
im tired.
disappointed.
lonely.
exhausted.