He's always been there
I read this on Roo's site and it reminded me so much of Jesus and I.
"Sometimes I think being married means having a perpetual playmate. Sometimes I think for the two of us, our adulthood is just an extension of our childhood. We're adult enough when we need to be, fulfilling responsibilities and such, but when we can be carefree,its the best".
I am falling in love with Jesus. Today during worship I allowed God to take my imagination and make it a playground for him and I. In my mind I was in a park today dressed in a cute yellow polo tee and an over the knee crisp white skirt. I had a bunch of colored chalk pieces and I was drawing Jesus' eyes. I was waiting for my beloved to come to the park and play with me. I was drawing his eyes and as I drew them my heart was waiting with joyful anticipation for his arrival. Finally he came and when I saw him I dropped my chalk and ran up to him to hug him. Then we played. We swang on the swings and he pushed me and as I flew in the air the wind rushed through my skirt. He held my hands and spun me around and around till I got kinda dizzy and was filled with glee and laughter. At one point I heard an ice cream truck approaching and I ran to it to get my favorite treats. When I got there Jesus was the one driving it and I was so suprised and then happy cause he let me climb inside the back of the truck with him. He stopped the truck on the street and we sat down inside and ate every type of ice cream imaginable. We sat on the floor surrounded by wrappers and he fed me choclate ecliars and popsicles and strawberry cones. And we laughed and the ice cream dripped from my face and he looked at me with total adoration because I am his little doll. Then we drove through the neighboorhood and kids gathered all around the truck and we gave them as much free ice cream as they wanted. There were little black kids and cute asian ones and we passed them fudgesicles and popsicles and they showed us their thankfulness with their gleaming smiles. Oh, it was so fun. Then we visted the park I used to go to when I was in 4th grade and lived with my Dad. And Jesus showed me that even then he knew me and enjoyed me and was with me. And I remembered how my Dad and Robert and I would walk down the street to the park and I would get dizzy as I spun around on the rides and how I felt when I played in the sand. And I remembered how I was thrown in the pool when I was taking swimming lessons and how scared I was. And then I realized that Jesus was there then and he saw me in the pool and he delighted in me cause he thought I was adorable and so very precious. And at times he saw me in the sand and knew I was sad cause I missed my mom in California or was dealing with childhood pain and he looked at me with love and compassion. And when he saw me alone in the sandbox he sat down next to me and looked at me with mercy and put his arm around me and held me. And he watched me play and he protected me and he thought about how special I was and how he would do anything for his daughter.
Yeah, we had a good journey together. For years I have used my mind in sinful ways. I have used my thoughts to imagine being with a guy I liked or daydreaming about the desires of the flesh I wanted to fufill. Now when I worship I am allowing God to use my imagination to glorify him. When I do he takes me places in my mind. Mostly he takes me through places of my life and shows me that he was there. Its different every time because there is so much he wants to show me. Once I saw him in the hospital room when I was born looking intently at me and being so proud that I was born. Gazing at me with love and talking to the father and remarking at what a beautiful baby I was. Once I imagined him in heaven talking with God as he flipped through this huge antique like book that was filled with beautiful paintings of my life. As he flipped the pages he would say " Look there she was in her 5th grade play, wasn't she cute? Oh, heres on of her wearing those big pink glasses that I loved, oh there she was in high school going through her fashionable stage". Every drawing was carefully painted with bright beautiful colors and displayed a memory that brought so much joy to his heart. He was absoulteley delighed in every one of them because I was in them and hes absoultey delighted by me. It was sweet. So Jesus and I are falling in love and it is great. And I honestly dont believe these pictures are just my imagination. I believe there is more truth in them than I can ever realize. And somehow they bring healing. Once I saw myself before my junior prom. I was on my front porch dressed in my long blue gown with my hair done and my makeup perfectly applied. Jesus was watching me and he was so very proud, he was so proud that I looked so beautiful and he was so happy for me that I was enjoying myself. He watched me the whole night and was so exicted that I was dancing and having a good time. But then at the end of the night my date left me and wanted to go hang out with another girl and Jesus was so upset. He was more than upset, he was hurt. He looked at me and his eyes where burning with jealous love. It was like his whole being was saying " No, not my daugther, not her, she does not deserve this , not my precious little girl, not the one I love". When I saw how hurt he was I began to cry. In real life I began to cry as I was imagining this. The prom was so long ago and I never think about it but at that moment I cried because I remembered the hurt and I weeped over it because I saw that it hurt him and I saw how much he loved me. He is so jealous over his little girl and he gets angry when I dont get the treatment I deserve. Cause I am his. I saw how he has protected me over the years and how guys I liked have come around and he has talked to the father and said " nope, I will not let her go to that one, nope, he is not good enough for her. That was a sweet picture. I saw how protective he is of me and how he watches over me and will not give me to just anyone. That made me feel special and loved. So yes, Jesus and I are getting closer because I am seeing that he has always been there through the good and the bad. He saw my Moms divorce and the times I felt alone and cried as a little girl. He saw me in college when my friends left me and I struggled to find truth. And in those times he didn't just see me, he was with me. When I was sitting on the floor of my college dorm room crying he was sitting right next to me and he had his arm around me and was rubbing my back and holding me as I wept. He saw me in the good times when I graduated college and he was so proud to watch me walk down the aisle. He was there amidst all the crowds and his face was beaming with pride because hes been in love with me since before I was born. He pretty much has been madly in love with me forever and knowing that makes me want to love him more. And thankfully I have all of this life and the next to develop that love.
"Sometimes I think being married means having a perpetual playmate. Sometimes I think for the two of us, our adulthood is just an extension of our childhood. We're adult enough when we need to be, fulfilling responsibilities and such, but when we can be carefree,its the best".
I am falling in love with Jesus. Today during worship I allowed God to take my imagination and make it a playground for him and I. In my mind I was in a park today dressed in a cute yellow polo tee and an over the knee crisp white skirt. I had a bunch of colored chalk pieces and I was drawing Jesus' eyes. I was waiting for my beloved to come to the park and play with me. I was drawing his eyes and as I drew them my heart was waiting with joyful anticipation for his arrival. Finally he came and when I saw him I dropped my chalk and ran up to him to hug him. Then we played. We swang on the swings and he pushed me and as I flew in the air the wind rushed through my skirt. He held my hands and spun me around and around till I got kinda dizzy and was filled with glee and laughter. At one point I heard an ice cream truck approaching and I ran to it to get my favorite treats. When I got there Jesus was the one driving it and I was so suprised and then happy cause he let me climb inside the back of the truck with him. He stopped the truck on the street and we sat down inside and ate every type of ice cream imaginable. We sat on the floor surrounded by wrappers and he fed me choclate ecliars and popsicles and strawberry cones. And we laughed and the ice cream dripped from my face and he looked at me with total adoration because I am his little doll. Then we drove through the neighboorhood and kids gathered all around the truck and we gave them as much free ice cream as they wanted. There were little black kids and cute asian ones and we passed them fudgesicles and popsicles and they showed us their thankfulness with their gleaming smiles. Oh, it was so fun. Then we visted the park I used to go to when I was in 4th grade and lived with my Dad. And Jesus showed me that even then he knew me and enjoyed me and was with me. And I remembered how my Dad and Robert and I would walk down the street to the park and I would get dizzy as I spun around on the rides and how I felt when I played in the sand. And I remembered how I was thrown in the pool when I was taking swimming lessons and how scared I was. And then I realized that Jesus was there then and he saw me in the pool and he delighted in me cause he thought I was adorable and so very precious. And at times he saw me in the sand and knew I was sad cause I missed my mom in California or was dealing with childhood pain and he looked at me with love and compassion. And when he saw me alone in the sandbox he sat down next to me and looked at me with mercy and put his arm around me and held me. And he watched me play and he protected me and he thought about how special I was and how he would do anything for his daughter.
Yeah, we had a good journey together. For years I have used my mind in sinful ways. I have used my thoughts to imagine being with a guy I liked or daydreaming about the desires of the flesh I wanted to fufill. Now when I worship I am allowing God to use my imagination to glorify him. When I do he takes me places in my mind. Mostly he takes me through places of my life and shows me that he was there. Its different every time because there is so much he wants to show me. Once I saw him in the hospital room when I was born looking intently at me and being so proud that I was born. Gazing at me with love and talking to the father and remarking at what a beautiful baby I was. Once I imagined him in heaven talking with God as he flipped through this huge antique like book that was filled with beautiful paintings of my life. As he flipped the pages he would say " Look there she was in her 5th grade play, wasn't she cute? Oh, heres on of her wearing those big pink glasses that I loved, oh there she was in high school going through her fashionable stage". Every drawing was carefully painted with bright beautiful colors and displayed a memory that brought so much joy to his heart. He was absoulteley delighed in every one of them because I was in them and hes absoultey delighted by me. It was sweet. So Jesus and I are falling in love and it is great. And I honestly dont believe these pictures are just my imagination. I believe there is more truth in them than I can ever realize. And somehow they bring healing. Once I saw myself before my junior prom. I was on my front porch dressed in my long blue gown with my hair done and my makeup perfectly applied. Jesus was watching me and he was so very proud, he was so proud that I looked so beautiful and he was so happy for me that I was enjoying myself. He watched me the whole night and was so exicted that I was dancing and having a good time. But then at the end of the night my date left me and wanted to go hang out with another girl and Jesus was so upset. He was more than upset, he was hurt. He looked at me and his eyes where burning with jealous love. It was like his whole being was saying " No, not my daugther, not her, she does not deserve this , not my precious little girl, not the one I love". When I saw how hurt he was I began to cry. In real life I began to cry as I was imagining this. The prom was so long ago and I never think about it but at that moment I cried because I remembered the hurt and I weeped over it because I saw that it hurt him and I saw how much he loved me. He is so jealous over his little girl and he gets angry when I dont get the treatment I deserve. Cause I am his. I saw how he has protected me over the years and how guys I liked have come around and he has talked to the father and said " nope, I will not let her go to that one, nope, he is not good enough for her. That was a sweet picture. I saw how protective he is of me and how he watches over me and will not give me to just anyone. That made me feel special and loved. So yes, Jesus and I are getting closer because I am seeing that he has always been there through the good and the bad. He saw my Moms divorce and the times I felt alone and cried as a little girl. He saw me in college when my friends left me and I struggled to find truth. And in those times he didn't just see me, he was with me. When I was sitting on the floor of my college dorm room crying he was sitting right next to me and he had his arm around me and was rubbing my back and holding me as I wept. He saw me in the good times when I graduated college and he was so proud to watch me walk down the aisle. He was there amidst all the crowds and his face was beaming with pride because hes been in love with me since before I was born. He pretty much has been madly in love with me forever and knowing that makes me want to love him more. And thankfully I have all of this life and the next to develop that love.