Write a letter to someone you've hurt, or someone who has hurt you.
ooc: Written four years ago when Audrey was nineteen and a student of Professor Crane. She was one of his last students before he was dismissed quietly from the University and went on to work at Arkham.
Dear Mom,
I've written you letters before because the shrinks suggested it. They say that writing letters can help someone gain closure. Especially in cases when someone dies suddenly without a chance to say goodbye. You got your chance though didn't you? You got to write me that letter to explain why ending your life was what was best for us. It was full of lies. So many lies, and I can't figure out if you knew it was lies or if you were delusional enough to buy into it.
You said you couldn't face a life without Dad in it. You said when he walked out that it was too hard to go on. You said that the world was too frightening, too violent and fucked up for you to face another day. So you wrote that letter and you asked me to forgive you. To understand why you were bailing on me just like Dad bailed on us. I want you to know that I understand completely.
I understand that you were a coward who couldn't face your fear. I understand that Dad was a coward who couldn't face his responsibilities. At least he had the common sense to move out of Gotham when he ran off with his flavor of the week. No letters from him begging for forgiveness, or asking me to understand. He didn't even show up to your funeral. Did you think he would? Did you think maybe your suicide would be a failed attempt rather than a success? Did you envision it as a cry for help? Did you stop and consider what it would be like for me to walk into the house and find you in the bathtub? I doubt you did. I don't think I crossed your mind at all. It was all about him. All about your fears.
I understand why you did it, and I understand why he bailed. It's fine. You said in your letter I was an adult, and you stuck it out as long as you could. He said the same thing, you know. He told me that he stayed with you as long as he could, but once I graduated high school his job was done. I can't forgive you. I can't forgive either of you for being cowards. It's okay though. You're gone now, and I have no use for Dad.
There's this doctor who is helping me now. He told me these letters were ridiculous, and he's right. That's why this is the last one. I'm not wasting my time with other doctors anymore. All they want to do is poke at the fears and insecurities that plague me. They want me to stay rooted in the past, and force me to relive the day that I found you in that tub. To relive that day when Dad took me aside and told me that he couldn't do it anymore. He needed a way out. You needed a way out. I get it.
Doctor Crane is giving me a way out too. He's teaching me how to face my fears and to turn them into strengths rather than weaknesses. He's going to do great things with his work. He's not my professor anymore, but he is still a brilliant doctor. He says I can help him, and I want too. I want to help his work become successful, and I will be his best work. Because I have so many issues that you both left me with, but I will face them. I will do everything that Doctor Crane wants me too, and one day he will see me as something more than an experiment. One day he will see me for the woman I am supposed to be.
The woman that neither you or Dad were interested in seeing.
I don't believe in God, but if he does exist I hope you are exactly where you belong. I hope you are consumed with fear and wishing every day you were stronger. I hope you never get a moment's peace. I hope you know that I will never be you, and I will never be Dad.
I will be something better; I will be Doctor Crane's best work.
-Audrey
Dear Mom,
I've written you letters before because the shrinks suggested it. They say that writing letters can help someone gain closure. Especially in cases when someone dies suddenly without a chance to say goodbye. You got your chance though didn't you? You got to write me that letter to explain why ending your life was what was best for us. It was full of lies. So many lies, and I can't figure out if you knew it was lies or if you were delusional enough to buy into it.
You said you couldn't face a life without Dad in it. You said when he walked out that it was too hard to go on. You said that the world was too frightening, too violent and fucked up for you to face another day. So you wrote that letter and you asked me to forgive you. To understand why you were bailing on me just like Dad bailed on us. I want you to know that I understand completely.
I understand that you were a coward who couldn't face your fear. I understand that Dad was a coward who couldn't face his responsibilities. At least he had the common sense to move out of Gotham when he ran off with his flavor of the week. No letters from him begging for forgiveness, or asking me to understand. He didn't even show up to your funeral. Did you think he would? Did you think maybe your suicide would be a failed attempt rather than a success? Did you envision it as a cry for help? Did you stop and consider what it would be like for me to walk into the house and find you in the bathtub? I doubt you did. I don't think I crossed your mind at all. It was all about him. All about your fears.
I understand why you did it, and I understand why he bailed. It's fine. You said in your letter I was an adult, and you stuck it out as long as you could. He said the same thing, you know. He told me that he stayed with you as long as he could, but once I graduated high school his job was done. I can't forgive you. I can't forgive either of you for being cowards. It's okay though. You're gone now, and I have no use for Dad.
There's this doctor who is helping me now. He told me these letters were ridiculous, and he's right. That's why this is the last one. I'm not wasting my time with other doctors anymore. All they want to do is poke at the fears and insecurities that plague me. They want me to stay rooted in the past, and force me to relive the day that I found you in that tub. To relive that day when Dad took me aside and told me that he couldn't do it anymore. He needed a way out. You needed a way out. I get it.
Doctor Crane is giving me a way out too. He's teaching me how to face my fears and to turn them into strengths rather than weaknesses. He's going to do great things with his work. He's not my professor anymore, but he is still a brilliant doctor. He says I can help him, and I want too. I want to help his work become successful, and I will be his best work. Because I have so many issues that you both left me with, but I will face them. I will do everything that Doctor Crane wants me too, and one day he will see me as something more than an experiment. One day he will see me for the woman I am supposed to be.
The woman that neither you or Dad were interested in seeing.
I don't believe in God, but if he does exist I hope you are exactly where you belong. I hope you are consumed with fear and wishing every day you were stronger. I hope you never get a moment's peace. I hope you know that I will never be you, and I will never be Dad.
I will be something better; I will be Doctor Crane's best work.
-Audrey