I'm too old for this.
I just got back from driving my nan back to her little bungalow in Southend. Don't get me wrong, I love my nan to bits (if there was a fan club I'd be the freak printing t-shirts), but dear god my poor eardrums! It's especially bad as I'm still kind of recovering from whatever the hell illness I just had, which involved severe headaches. They've only just gone away, only to spend a couple of hours in the car listening to my mum shout things at my nan. Plus, my mum has this fucking annoying habit of repeating everything she says regardless of whether or not you've actually heard it. At first I was trying to console myself by pretending I was in some kind of sit-com, but it just got to the point where I wanted to say, "Ok, screw it you can drop me off right here and I'll walk home".
That wasn't the worst part of the trip though. My mum thought it would be a great idea to stop off at the house where my other grandma died a couple of months ago to see if my nan would want to buy it so we could all live closer. Personally, I think it's creepy as hell to think of her moving in and I'm pretty sure that when the facts have settled in her own mind, she'll think so too. But anyway, this is the first time I've visited since my nan died, the last time being when my sisters and niece were there and we all took photos and pretended like our nan wasn't completely racist and inappropriate. I wasn't particularly close to my nan but it was still really weird to walk into the house and see it all empty. So weird in fact that I had to leave and go outside. My mum thought it was just because I couldn't stand the smell of smoke (she was a chain-smoker too, I bet they love her wherever she is now), but it was really just because I was so overwhelmed. And it's not like I have a load of picture-perfect memories of us in the house together or anything, but there were a couple of decent ones I think, and that threw me a little bit.
Either way, it hasn't put me in the best of moods and I'm feeling all cranky again.
The thought of V is pretty encouraging though.
That wasn't the worst part of the trip though. My mum thought it would be a great idea to stop off at the house where my other grandma died a couple of months ago to see if my nan would want to buy it so we could all live closer. Personally, I think it's creepy as hell to think of her moving in and I'm pretty sure that when the facts have settled in her own mind, she'll think so too. But anyway, this is the first time I've visited since my nan died, the last time being when my sisters and niece were there and we all took photos and pretended like our nan wasn't completely racist and inappropriate. I wasn't particularly close to my nan but it was still really weird to walk into the house and see it all empty. So weird in fact that I had to leave and go outside. My mum thought it was just because I couldn't stand the smell of smoke (she was a chain-smoker too, I bet they love her wherever she is now), but it was really just because I was so overwhelmed. And it's not like I have a load of picture-perfect memories of us in the house together or anything, but there were a couple of decent ones I think, and that threw me a little bit.
Either way, it hasn't put me in the best of moods and I'm feeling all cranky again.
The thought of V is pretty encouraging though.