The unexamined life is not worth living.
It's rough planning this trip. There are so many doubts and doubters. I've managed to cut a few friends who I've realized have always been negative people in my life. It's a scary thing to leave the people you love to venture out into the unknown. I still hold to a lot of people all over the world travel all the time, everywhere. When I went to Italy with only one friend, I never felt threatened. Did people try to take advantage of the fact that I was a tourist? Yes, however I never felt that I was in danger.
They say taking the leap is the most difficult part. Finding a host family has been more difficult that expected. I'm not sure if it's me not wanting to commit or if it's them. I get so many applications and now they are wanting to skype call me to see if we would be a good match. It's a great idea and I totally want to do it, however, this weekend I skipped my first interview. I blame it on many things: Sleeping in, signs of a cold about to begin, crappy laptop, no decent areas for background... but maybe it's cold feet.
I've been planning this for over a year now. The advice given to me from multiple sources was, you can't wait or you'll loose momentum. Just do it. and I think that's what happened. It's like doubt, fear, and naysayers have slowed me down.
I need to get it together. My friend recently told me that I needed to write out who I was and what I stand for so I can be who I want to be. I think that will be my next step. This weekend coming I have another Skype interview.
My plan is to au pair, learn spanish, explore, and hopefully be able to intern at a news station so I don't loose experience. We'll see how it goes.
I wrote a letter to myself last year in my agenda for this year. It said, "I hope you are still planning your trip. Remember, if not now, when?" So I've vocalized to everyone that I want to do it and I'm planning to do it, I've cut out the downers, I've researched... it's time to start putting action my plans and not get lazy. I need to commit because this is what I want to do.
If not I need to start looking for a better job because this one is like sitting in stagnant water. I'm not going anywhere. Instead im sinking and turning into mud. I'm becoming lazy and accepting of things that I should not accept. I am a strong believer in Socrates quote,"The unexamined life is not worth living."