The Adult Life: progress report
On my way home from work, sitting in traffic, I turned my radio off and listened to the ambient sounds around me. I turned the air conditioner off and rolled down my window. I looked at the scenery around me and started praying about my future. I prayed about everything I wanted my future to look like and what my desires were. I prayed about where I was in life and where I wanted to end up, how I wanted to die. Then I thought about how dying is difficult but since I was a kid I'd been a fern believer that God would just take me. I would disappear without a trace. There are mentions of such happenings in the Bible and I would be honored if God would bless me with this. However, after pondering about death I started thinking about life. Life may be more difficult than dying in some cases, I'm unsure since I haven't experienced much of life and no death besides that of loved ones. Then I earnestly told God, "I trust you to take care of my life. Whatever road I'm on I trust you to get me through it and whatever death you have for me I know you'll be there every step of the way." For the first time in a LOOOONG time I felt very close to God. It's hard to explain so I'm going to put it into whatever form makes sense.
My whole life I haven't the slightest clue who I was, who I wanted to be, and where I wanted to end up. I always felt out of place and weird. I felt like everyone was good at something but me or at least had some sort of direction. I planned on graduating college with a General Studies major because I wasn't interested in anything.
I was classified under Undecided my sophomore year at SELU. They forced me to to choose a major after that so I stumbled into General Studies, Major concentration in Mass Communication (only because they were rumored to teach video classes), Minor concentrations in English and Photography. After taking some Comm classes one of my teacher told me they were coming out with a new Communications concentration called Electronic Media. I didn't do any research, I just jumped in. Even then, I had no idea what was happening in my life.
I felt God saying, "You panicked so much but I had you the whole time. Look at all I have done in your life thus far. Yesterday you got to interview an astronaut. Did you ever dream your life would be anything like this 4 years ago? I was with you then when you were in turmoil, I'm with you now, and I will take care of you in the future."
Four years ago I didn't know this field existed. I've already done more, seen more, and met more people, than some do their entire lives and I'm introverted...
God has a plan and a reason behind everything. Sometimes my life is rough and causes me to look to the sky and squeal "Ma life!" but I keep reminding myself to look at the positives. I got this! Friends rotate in my life like seasons change. Boyfriends come and go. Family issues are ongoing. God is the same. God is good. God is worth it. He only wants the best for me and will never love me more than He does now. I've made so many mistakes and still wound up where I needed to be.
My whole life I haven't the slightest clue who I was, who I wanted to be, and where I wanted to end up. I always felt out of place and weird. I felt like everyone was good at something but me or at least had some sort of direction. I planned on graduating college with a General Studies major because I wasn't interested in anything.
I was classified under Undecided my sophomore year at SELU. They forced me to to choose a major after that so I stumbled into General Studies, Major concentration in Mass Communication (only because they were rumored to teach video classes), Minor concentrations in English and Photography. After taking some Comm classes one of my teacher told me they were coming out with a new Communications concentration called Electronic Media. I didn't do any research, I just jumped in. Even then, I had no idea what was happening in my life.
I felt God saying, "You panicked so much but I had you the whole time. Look at all I have done in your life thus far. Yesterday you got to interview an astronaut. Did you ever dream your life would be anything like this 4 years ago? I was with you then when you were in turmoil, I'm with you now, and I will take care of you in the future."
Four years ago I didn't know this field existed. I've already done more, seen more, and met more people, than some do their entire lives and I'm introverted...
God has a plan and a reason behind everything. Sometimes my life is rough and causes me to look to the sky and squeal "Ma life!" but I keep reminding myself to look at the positives. I got this! Friends rotate in my life like seasons change. Boyfriends come and go. Family issues are ongoing. God is the same. God is good. God is worth it. He only wants the best for me and will never love me more than He does now. I've made so many mistakes and still wound up where I needed to be.