The Adult Life: progress report
I made a vision board.
Two actually.
Which brings me to today. This morning.
I stroll to my work station and switch the lights on.
Right there, laying on my keyboard, I behold a folded up
Map of Louisiana!
Yup that's right a map. My vision boards have
at least three map images on them.
Symbolic for traveling.
I can only assume my boss left it for me because he
correctly assumes I'm incapable of a sense of direction.
Ironic? Perhaps.
However, we all start our adventure somewhere.
I listened to a sermon about a week ago
The pastor preached about
Taking care of what we already have.
She said we have to appreciate the things God have given to us
Prove to Him we can handle what we already have before
He can trust us with more.
If we have a beat up old vehicle, we need to
wash it and keep up the maintenance on it.
If we treat it badly how can we handle something better?
Once I started applying this to my job it has become enjoyable.
Almost a pleasure.
I have tried to apply this to my friendships but it seems
like the effort that I give acts like waves in a pond pushing the
leaves away from the shore.
Back to work.
After my journey to Monroe I realize I have a new set of friends.
They all contacted me in someway to ask how it went. I felt
loved.
Monroe was a friend and adventure later.
Nothing feels more adult than driving the company car
the length of Louisiana to Monroe.
Loosing yourself in the landscape and winding roads
by yourself on an assignment. The pressure of everything
depending on you. Your education, experience, training has
led up to this first rite of passage. While I was experiencing
the beginning of my career I took a chance and went off
the beaten path. These terms, "rite of passage" and "beaten path"
mean different things to people but to me, as of now, it;s doing things
out of my nature. My goal is to constantly push my boundaries and limits.
My reporter started off working for my boss having no knowledge of the industry.
Now she is a Production Director and owns her own business.
She used to be shy and her mom was over protective, possibly
worse than mine, and look at her thriving!
She is an active christian, happily married, and owns her own business.
No kids btw, seems to be ok with that.
Every adventure I go on is a lesson I have to learn.
I would like to be able to forgive everyone who has ever hurt me, which as of now is accomplished,
Keep in touch with all my friends, and learn every lesson I am presented.
I realize the reason I cannot keep friends is maybe because I am too selfish
and busy for them and or maybe because I'm too lazy. I am so grateful
for the few who have kept in touch and held on
no matter how hard I pushed them away... probably those
who know I have a journal.
Fiction:
Intoxicated she scaled the building to the only refuge she had left.
Ashamed she gently taped on the door
A familiar face welcomed her in. He could tell something was wrong
but didn't question it. He gave her a comforting hug instead.
She plopped down on hard unforgiving floor.
His roommate looked at her, judging. She couldnt blame him,
she would have judged her too. The room spun as she lay face
down and absorbed the coolness. Her friend and his roommate continued
as if she wasn't there.
It's how she liked it. She closed her eyes and gave into the darkness.
Unfortunate things live in the darkness. Memories.
Friends who aren't there when you need them.
People you trust push boundaries, emotions,
and take advantage.
The alcohol is like a net that prevents you from
escaping the darkness. You laugh at things
that aren't funny. You allow things you shouldn't.
Your mind is slurred, thoughts and words rarely connect.
Actions are go with the flow.
So much violation
Her eyelids jerked open when something brushed against her check.
When she noticed the surroundings were vaguely familiar
she relaxed. He helped her to her feet and lead her to the door.
She gave him a hug as a tear escaped and soaked into his shirt.
Exiting using the stairs she fumbled for her keys.
He called after her. When she turned he caught up with her and gave her gum.
"be safe" were the only words exchanged.
She smiled in return and walked into the parking lot.
Through the twilight,
hang over,
texts,
rain,
she
never
made
it
home.
Two actually.
Which brings me to today. This morning.
I stroll to my work station and switch the lights on.
Right there, laying on my keyboard, I behold a folded up
Map of Louisiana!
Yup that's right a map. My vision boards have
at least three map images on them.
Symbolic for traveling.
I can only assume my boss left it for me because he
correctly assumes I'm incapable of a sense of direction.
Ironic? Perhaps.
However, we all start our adventure somewhere.
I listened to a sermon about a week ago
The pastor preached about
Taking care of what we already have.
She said we have to appreciate the things God have given to us
Prove to Him we can handle what we already have before
He can trust us with more.
If we have a beat up old vehicle, we need to
wash it and keep up the maintenance on it.
If we treat it badly how can we handle something better?
Once I started applying this to my job it has become enjoyable.
Almost a pleasure.
I have tried to apply this to my friendships but it seems
like the effort that I give acts like waves in a pond pushing the
leaves away from the shore.
Back to work.
After my journey to Monroe I realize I have a new set of friends.
They all contacted me in someway to ask how it went. I felt
loved.
Monroe was a friend and adventure later.
Nothing feels more adult than driving the company car
the length of Louisiana to Monroe.
Loosing yourself in the landscape and winding roads
by yourself on an assignment. The pressure of everything
depending on you. Your education, experience, training has
led up to this first rite of passage. While I was experiencing
the beginning of my career I took a chance and went off
the beaten path. These terms, "rite of passage" and "beaten path"
mean different things to people but to me, as of now, it;s doing things
out of my nature. My goal is to constantly push my boundaries and limits.
My reporter started off working for my boss having no knowledge of the industry.
Now she is a Production Director and owns her own business.
She used to be shy and her mom was over protective, possibly
worse than mine, and look at her thriving!
She is an active christian, happily married, and owns her own business.
No kids btw, seems to be ok with that.
Every adventure I go on is a lesson I have to learn.
I would like to be able to forgive everyone who has ever hurt me, which as of now is accomplished,
Keep in touch with all my friends, and learn every lesson I am presented.
I realize the reason I cannot keep friends is maybe because I am too selfish
and busy for them and or maybe because I'm too lazy. I am so grateful
for the few who have kept in touch and held on
no matter how hard I pushed them away... probably those
who know I have a journal.
Fiction:
Intoxicated she scaled the building to the only refuge she had left.
Ashamed she gently taped on the door
A familiar face welcomed her in. He could tell something was wrong
but didn't question it. He gave her a comforting hug instead.
She plopped down on hard unforgiving floor.
His roommate looked at her, judging. She couldnt blame him,
she would have judged her too. The room spun as she lay face
down and absorbed the coolness. Her friend and his roommate continued
as if she wasn't there.
It's how she liked it. She closed her eyes and gave into the darkness.
Unfortunate things live in the darkness. Memories.
Friends who aren't there when you need them.
People you trust push boundaries, emotions,
and take advantage.
The alcohol is like a net that prevents you from
escaping the darkness. You laugh at things
that aren't funny. You allow things you shouldn't.
Your mind is slurred, thoughts and words rarely connect.
Actions are go with the flow.
So much violation
Her eyelids jerked open when something brushed against her check.
When she noticed the surroundings were vaguely familiar
she relaxed. He helped her to her feet and lead her to the door.
She gave him a hug as a tear escaped and soaked into his shirt.
Exiting using the stairs she fumbled for her keys.
He called after her. When she turned he caught up with her and gave her gum.
"be safe" were the only words exchanged.
She smiled in return and walked into the parking lot.
Through the twilight,
hang over,
texts,
rain,
she
never
made
it
home.