(no subject)
Lost in a beautiful and broken ocean. Colorsshapespeople all one thing. There is no being. Just all these unfolding shapes. Little experience bubbles, carving "nature versus nurture" paths in little red X's across the bark on the brief interactions of self with space and time. Dimension taking one brief stroll past time. Dimension typing out one more simple line on Time.
xxx
There are sounds and maybe people competing for my attention right now. I can hardly keep track of myself and all my own beautiful intentions. Or my cigarette or Meredith or whatever.
I can hear three stages at once.
(After note: Didn't edit this one. I hope my own experience of this incidence and feeling aren't the only things that give an appreciation of this simplistic chaotic thought. When tripping balls you have extreme sensory-overload, this ends up diverting your attention in strange ways. Long focus on one thing until some emphatic moment where you realize there's still stuff going on all around you--be that nature itself or the wild, drunken wanderings, snips of conversation, and many varied appearances of festival concert attendees. Holy shit.)
xxx
Are we moving or not? So many goddamned lights wow.
xxx
Everyone is so everything. And all around me. Finding panic lost friends stuck with excited hugs, quick snap chats overloading cellphone, go get a beer real quick kinda eyes, stumbling and stare, backwards ballcap or neon glowlight necklace, the casuals down from some upstate cali spot or the dedicated who drove or flew tired and dirty in planes. Nothing matters because it all keeps moving. Everyone is a running, rushing river of humanity. Each story's chapters unfolding endlessly in sprawl across the grounds of the festival. I'm on an island state. An island star beautiful color memory music overloading. I keep thinking every single person is talking to me and I have three different laser-light shows in my field-of-vision.
xxx
I am prayer and worship in the moving lifestream of Broken Bells around me. There is no way to ever share this state of being, this endless moment.
xx
Drop a man in the desert and his first thought will be to ask of water. But shortly thereafter he'll say, know where I can get a beer?
xx
It's a safari tent hallelujah. Air-conditioned oasis, and cushy couches that you can't lounge on too long without a buzz of energy demanding you continue on. Too many things to see! To do! All of these small, shaded, cotton and dubstep stop spots are so obviously stationed so that I buy more booze and juuuuuuust relax.
I just need someone to be selling a tshirts. I don't want or need one. I just want to see someone selling anything real.
xx
"I can't tell if you're speaking metaphorically or literally right now but I do understand that you're very serious."
xx
Girls are lucky in not having to whip out a handful of genitals every time they gotta take a leak. Tripping balls, that is too damned much. #Gender differences.
xx
Half-figments are everywhere. I see people pass behind things and not come out the other side, making me wondering if I saw them to begin with. I hope I don't look, right now, like a startled doe wandering through a park full of people. Can't walk without stepping on someone.
xx
"I'm so swag that it takes three people to carry it around."
xx
Swearwolf
(After Thought: This is too beautiful and fun a word to not use. Must work into a song at some point. I already have varied ideas on the definition)
xx
Eli who shared his weed like nothing. Saint among peeps. Holy shit. And I told him at least three times. Gods bless him. Three times. For being a real nigga trying to help out another listener.
xx
Tell tale signs weaving through eyes as we pass through endless angelic crowd. Every face a thousand stories of being. Knowing just how many are on my level. That many people jammed that tightly into such a small space must have some kind of communion of existence. Lighters borrowed. Weed shared. Trips and talk and bottle to mouth dancing wild under the California mood, sweat and dust flushed, red skin and binge on good feeling. We all smile at each other and try to take care. Had so many convincingly concerned voices checking on me at various points. You want everyone to feel as beatifulwonderful as you do. We lit and set an arcade fire inside ourselves, taken to furthest banks and classic waves of music. Feast on blood orange and neutral milk. Worship, praise, and outkast faith as groups of kids band arms to dance and jump and balls or rubber boats bounce between the dark sky and the lightocean of human joy. Deedei helped me out because I was alone and worried, we traded good vibes and good highs as life stories were summarized and then sincere utter goodbyes like spears of peace piercing each other. Maybe it's the music or my buzzing mind but these moments have been ethereal and clarifying. The girl in the black dress hypnotizes skin and barely concerned tongue, heartbeat outraces pyres. Love, love, love. And now I won't settle for less than a girl on this level, loyal like an angel but dance like the devil, rage out wild festival trips and kissing heads full of ecstacy. I swear, life is made for living.
xx
After a headache three hours
of cab rides and banking bothers
the sassy push-start rental is ours.
We kick it down the coast top speed.
Just drinking in the view and our own
chimney smoke.
Me and my blonde and bold long-lost best-friend.
Everywhere you look
there's a style or a story
walking tiredly down
a streetside
or skating past crosswalk.
Kissing pretty
heads full of ecstasy.
xx
Half a world away and I can finally let it go.
I've been so tired of holding on tight in the always anyway.
Life is so much more static than that. Love what you have when you have it and leave it behind when you move past.
It's like a happy laughing memory I forgot.
I can't believe perspective twisted me up and had me worried sick, afraid, awkward.
I missed flying solo. I always have adventurers ready to ride out when I'm my normal super-sociable self.
I've missed riding life's waves and writing love's ways. I can't even weigh myself down with self-doubt or sick confidence now. Everything's a chance set in place by
infinite variables.
One step or smile
or cough or stare
could change your world,
or not, at any given second.
And the chances never decrease...for that beautiful chaos. Besides, hell, I've had enough easy luck and flirty affirmation lately that I can't keep thinking I'm a lost cause or that I dropped my game.
I light up rooms when I stop by, and hold golden breath in attention when I recite poetry.
My friends' love is enough to make me certain I'm an enjoyable and enriching person.
And those cute stares I keep getting from behind sunshine hair and glasses help too.
Nice to miss someone, have them miss you, and it not be any deeper than that.
No guilt melting in my stomach, uncertainty, or worry about moving forward or back.
Just pure enjoyment and bashful daydreams of when I'll kiss you again.
Mystic hippie smile, just wait.
xx
Eric and Rae are bubbling kindness and happy. V.I.P tents, V.I.P. golf carts taking us stage to stage. Scanning badges, beep beep beep beep and beep, over and over again. and over again. and over again. Making sure we're the real deal on every turnstile pass. Thankfully you just hold your wrist above your head in lazy fashion and they do the rest. Buying our overpriced and rare foods, most of these vendors VIP-specific. Trying as many places as I can. Lemon soaked chicken tacos, umami burgers, and vodka on the rocks. Stuffed and laying flat in the grass watching people pass overhead as I smoke cigarettes and listen to every single one of several thousand conversations.
xx
Miracle Springs Resort. What are the chances of the hotel we randomly pick for the whole area ends up being 70 for a room six people could sleep in easily. King bed, couch, living area, patio, aaaaand 24 hour hot spring mineral pools with 90-120 degree temperatures. Eeeeee. TBTS.
xxx
Climbing rocks I found glory, up uncountable stories. In a place that, in fact, doesn't even measure in them.
Unfathomable awe my heart takes breaks and my tongue burns
staring over waves and trails of land land land
shattering straight into beaming sun and sky sky sky
shoelaces brush sediment and rock that's been growing or fracturing since before man
roamed time
our heads and stomachs full
of ecstasy
pupils that don't dilate
forcing ourselves to take in
every inch
of everything
we see
At the top
we always break
find spots to sit and yawn
with the comfort
of conquering
take pose
and shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot
find new friends in angles of the rock
twisting passages
you going up there?
where you from?
by yourself?
how'd you end up here?
oh.
what's that accent?
it's beautiful up here, huh?
Agusia explains
in broken but beautifully spoken
English colored blue german hue
The phrase she roughly translates to me
"Cinema of the Mind"
When you look across the next few steps
or leaps
you must make
and go
ohgodohgodohgodohgod
can'tdothiscan'tdothis
but then you do
it's fine
your body knows just where to go
you're on the other side
that moment of visualization
has a common russian phrase
but breaks down to
"Cinema of the Mind"
I think about kissing her every moment
till we part in the absolute-dark of late morning
I don't
and when I tell her the next morning
with rides waiting
"I would be happy to see you again too"
She smiles and whispers light and shy
"So you will"
xxx
There are sounds and maybe people competing for my attention right now. I can hardly keep track of myself and all my own beautiful intentions. Or my cigarette or Meredith or whatever.
I can hear three stages at once.
(After note: Didn't edit this one. I hope my own experience of this incidence and feeling aren't the only things that give an appreciation of this simplistic chaotic thought. When tripping balls you have extreme sensory-overload, this ends up diverting your attention in strange ways. Long focus on one thing until some emphatic moment where you realize there's still stuff going on all around you--be that nature itself or the wild, drunken wanderings, snips of conversation, and many varied appearances of festival concert attendees. Holy shit.)
xxx
Are we moving or not? So many goddamned lights wow.
xxx
Everyone is so everything. And all around me. Finding panic lost friends stuck with excited hugs, quick snap chats overloading cellphone, go get a beer real quick kinda eyes, stumbling and stare, backwards ballcap or neon glowlight necklace, the casuals down from some upstate cali spot or the dedicated who drove or flew tired and dirty in planes. Nothing matters because it all keeps moving. Everyone is a running, rushing river of humanity. Each story's chapters unfolding endlessly in sprawl across the grounds of the festival. I'm on an island state. An island star beautiful color memory music overloading. I keep thinking every single person is talking to me and I have three different laser-light shows in my field-of-vision.
xxx
I am prayer and worship in the moving lifestream of Broken Bells around me. There is no way to ever share this state of being, this endless moment.
xx
Drop a man in the desert and his first thought will be to ask of water. But shortly thereafter he'll say, know where I can get a beer?
xx
It's a safari tent hallelujah. Air-conditioned oasis, and cushy couches that you can't lounge on too long without a buzz of energy demanding you continue on. Too many things to see! To do! All of these small, shaded, cotton and dubstep stop spots are so obviously stationed so that I buy more booze and juuuuuuust relax.
I just need someone to be selling a tshirts. I don't want or need one. I just want to see someone selling anything real.
xx
"I can't tell if you're speaking metaphorically or literally right now but I do understand that you're very serious."
xx
Girls are lucky in not having to whip out a handful of genitals every time they gotta take a leak. Tripping balls, that is too damned much. #Gender differences.
xx
Half-figments are everywhere. I see people pass behind things and not come out the other side, making me wondering if I saw them to begin with. I hope I don't look, right now, like a startled doe wandering through a park full of people. Can't walk without stepping on someone.
xx
"I'm so swag that it takes three people to carry it around."
xx
Swearwolf
(After Thought: This is too beautiful and fun a word to not use. Must work into a song at some point. I already have varied ideas on the definition)
xx
Eli who shared his weed like nothing. Saint among peeps. Holy shit. And I told him at least three times. Gods bless him. Three times. For being a real nigga trying to help out another listener.
xx
Tell tale signs weaving through eyes as we pass through endless angelic crowd. Every face a thousand stories of being. Knowing just how many are on my level. That many people jammed that tightly into such a small space must have some kind of communion of existence. Lighters borrowed. Weed shared. Trips and talk and bottle to mouth dancing wild under the California mood, sweat and dust flushed, red skin and binge on good feeling. We all smile at each other and try to take care. Had so many convincingly concerned voices checking on me at various points. You want everyone to feel as beatifulwonderful as you do. We lit and set an arcade fire inside ourselves, taken to furthest banks and classic waves of music. Feast on blood orange and neutral milk. Worship, praise, and outkast faith as groups of kids band arms to dance and jump and balls or rubber boats bounce between the dark sky and the lightocean of human joy. Deedei helped me out because I was alone and worried, we traded good vibes and good highs as life stories were summarized and then sincere utter goodbyes like spears of peace piercing each other. Maybe it's the music or my buzzing mind but these moments have been ethereal and clarifying. The girl in the black dress hypnotizes skin and barely concerned tongue, heartbeat outraces pyres. Love, love, love. And now I won't settle for less than a girl on this level, loyal like an angel but dance like the devil, rage out wild festival trips and kissing heads full of ecstacy. I swear, life is made for living.
xx
After a headache three hours
of cab rides and banking bothers
the sassy push-start rental is ours.
We kick it down the coast top speed.
Just drinking in the view and our own
chimney smoke.
Me and my blonde and bold long-lost best-friend.
Everywhere you look
there's a style or a story
walking tiredly down
a streetside
or skating past crosswalk.
Kissing pretty
heads full of ecstasy.
xx
Half a world away and I can finally let it go.
I've been so tired of holding on tight in the always anyway.
Life is so much more static than that. Love what you have when you have it and leave it behind when you move past.
It's like a happy laughing memory I forgot.
I can't believe perspective twisted me up and had me worried sick, afraid, awkward.
I missed flying solo. I always have adventurers ready to ride out when I'm my normal super-sociable self.
I've missed riding life's waves and writing love's ways. I can't even weigh myself down with self-doubt or sick confidence now. Everything's a chance set in place by
infinite variables.
One step or smile
or cough or stare
could change your world,
or not, at any given second.
And the chances never decrease...for that beautiful chaos. Besides, hell, I've had enough easy luck and flirty affirmation lately that I can't keep thinking I'm a lost cause or that I dropped my game.
I light up rooms when I stop by, and hold golden breath in attention when I recite poetry.
My friends' love is enough to make me certain I'm an enjoyable and enriching person.
And those cute stares I keep getting from behind sunshine hair and glasses help too.
Nice to miss someone, have them miss you, and it not be any deeper than that.
No guilt melting in my stomach, uncertainty, or worry about moving forward or back.
Just pure enjoyment and bashful daydreams of when I'll kiss you again.
Mystic hippie smile, just wait.
xx
Eric and Rae are bubbling kindness and happy. V.I.P tents, V.I.P. golf carts taking us stage to stage. Scanning badges, beep beep beep beep and beep, over and over again. and over again. and over again. Making sure we're the real deal on every turnstile pass. Thankfully you just hold your wrist above your head in lazy fashion and they do the rest. Buying our overpriced and rare foods, most of these vendors VIP-specific. Trying as many places as I can. Lemon soaked chicken tacos, umami burgers, and vodka on the rocks. Stuffed and laying flat in the grass watching people pass overhead as I smoke cigarettes and listen to every single one of several thousand conversations.
xx
Miracle Springs Resort. What are the chances of the hotel we randomly pick for the whole area ends up being 70 for a room six people could sleep in easily. King bed, couch, living area, patio, aaaaand 24 hour hot spring mineral pools with 90-120 degree temperatures. Eeeeee. TBTS.
xxx
Climbing rocks I found glory, up uncountable stories. In a place that, in fact, doesn't even measure in them.
Unfathomable awe my heart takes breaks and my tongue burns
staring over waves and trails of land land land
shattering straight into beaming sun and sky sky sky
shoelaces brush sediment and rock that's been growing or fracturing since before man
roamed time
our heads and stomachs full
of ecstasy
pupils that don't dilate
forcing ourselves to take in
every inch
of everything
we see
At the top
we always break
find spots to sit and yawn
with the comfort
of conquering
take pose
and shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot
find new friends in angles of the rock
twisting passages
you going up there?
where you from?
by yourself?
how'd you end up here?
oh.
what's that accent?
it's beautiful up here, huh?
Agusia explains
in broken but beautifully spoken
English colored blue german hue
The phrase she roughly translates to me
"Cinema of the Mind"
When you look across the next few steps
or leaps
you must make
and go
ohgodohgodohgodohgod
can'tdothiscan'tdothis
but then you do
it's fine
your body knows just where to go
you're on the other side
that moment of visualization
has a common russian phrase
but breaks down to
"Cinema of the Mind"
I think about kissing her every moment
till we part in the absolute-dark of late morning
I don't
and when I tell her the next morning
with rides waiting
"I would be happy to see you again too"
She smiles and whispers light and shy
"So you will"