(no subject)
Allright... this post isn't going to be spell checked... so bear with me... I just don't have time.
*sigh* I have a tightness in the pit of my stomache, it's been there for a while now. I am stressed out. I have too many balls in the air. The election campaign is taking time and causing stress -- there really isn't enough time to do the job right and I'm a perfectionist. On top of that I'm not sure it's really the right place to be putting my political energy but I can't fathom what other options I have. I get to play with cool stuff like cascading style sheets for building websites (check out www.gordperks.ca), and networking SQL databases, so there is some redeeming qualities.
Work is going better -- my boss told me that my work had improved significantly and that he was happy with it -- but it requires larger amounts of attention than I was giving before and yet somethings are still sliding. My contract is up in June and yet I have zero sense of what I'm going to do after this. The work has improved but I don't think the companies' profits have gone up enough for them to consider hiring me when the person whom I'm replacing comes back from maternatity leave.
My parents have been living in Ottawa since June but I haven't visited them. I feel kinda guilty about it: my mother (who suffers from massive depression) hasn't been calling me, and I haven't responded to the one email that she sent me in the past six months. I have no idea how they are doing. I can't beleive that Christmas is almost here... just another week of work until I'm off. But also just one week until I need to have bought them Christmas gifts.
Things with cmg are going amazing. And in fact, really the only thing that is low stress right now. She is in Barrie tonight. The first night we have spent apart since October (my last post where I posted that she was staying home -- I ended up telling her to come over anyway). She went to Barrie since October but I came along and hung out with her family. :)
She got her hair cut according to my specifications the other day. Yes, she resisted it somewhat, but is really committed to the notion that her body is mine to do with as I please. She impressed me considering the horror stories I've heard when hair is pulled into the D/s dynamic. (haha! Pun fully intended.)
And that's where there is a little bit of stress in our relationship. She is ready for so much. She is willing to give her all. But I have so many presures from the outside world that I can't focus on this offer that she is giving me as much as I should. I have decided that I'm going to block off time and mental space for her to the exclusion of other things. But where is that time going to come from, and further still the stress is hard to just put away and compartmentalize -- it has a habit of creeping in.
she is very helpful though and, despite having different feelings about the NDP than I, has been helping me deal with the presures of the campaign. I'm sure her posts have been entertaining you all. Needless to say that yesturday's culmination to her week was very entertaining.
We've started talking about moving in together... and with May rapidly approching, it may become a reality. I have to wrap my head around the concept of moving out the place I've lived for the past five years -- the longest place in my life other than my boyhood home in Ottawa. But really, my place is too small for both of us especially when she starts school again next fall.
Anyway, I need to sleep. If I can... it will be hard without the soothing presence of my pet next to me.
Sleep well little one... I love you.
*sigh* I have a tightness in the pit of my stomache, it's been there for a while now. I am stressed out. I have too many balls in the air. The election campaign is taking time and causing stress -- there really isn't enough time to do the job right and I'm a perfectionist. On top of that I'm not sure it's really the right place to be putting my political energy but I can't fathom what other options I have. I get to play with cool stuff like cascading style sheets for building websites (check out www.gordperks.ca), and networking SQL databases, so there is some redeeming qualities.
Work is going better -- my boss told me that my work had improved significantly and that he was happy with it -- but it requires larger amounts of attention than I was giving before and yet somethings are still sliding. My contract is up in June and yet I have zero sense of what I'm going to do after this. The work has improved but I don't think the companies' profits have gone up enough for them to consider hiring me when the person whom I'm replacing comes back from maternatity leave.
My parents have been living in Ottawa since June but I haven't visited them. I feel kinda guilty about it: my mother (who suffers from massive depression) hasn't been calling me, and I haven't responded to the one email that she sent me in the past six months. I have no idea how they are doing. I can't beleive that Christmas is almost here... just another week of work until I'm off. But also just one week until I need to have bought them Christmas gifts.
Things with cmg are going amazing. And in fact, really the only thing that is low stress right now. She is in Barrie tonight. The first night we have spent apart since October (my last post where I posted that she was staying home -- I ended up telling her to come over anyway). She went to Barrie since October but I came along and hung out with her family. :)
She got her hair cut according to my specifications the other day. Yes, she resisted it somewhat, but is really committed to the notion that her body is mine to do with as I please. She impressed me considering the horror stories I've heard when hair is pulled into the D/s dynamic. (haha! Pun fully intended.)
And that's where there is a little bit of stress in our relationship. She is ready for so much. She is willing to give her all. But I have so many presures from the outside world that I can't focus on this offer that she is giving me as much as I should. I have decided that I'm going to block off time and mental space for her to the exclusion of other things. But where is that time going to come from, and further still the stress is hard to just put away and compartmentalize -- it has a habit of creeping in.
she is very helpful though and, despite having different feelings about the NDP than I, has been helping me deal with the presures of the campaign. I'm sure her posts have been entertaining you all. Needless to say that yesturday's culmination to her week was very entertaining.
We've started talking about moving in together... and with May rapidly approching, it may become a reality. I have to wrap my head around the concept of moving out the place I've lived for the past five years -- the longest place in my life other than my boyhood home in Ottawa. But really, my place is too small for both of us especially when she starts school again next fall.
Anyway, I need to sleep. If I can... it will be hard without the soothing presence of my pet next to me.
Sleep well little one... I love you.