20 REASONS WHY I HATE JANG HYUNSEUNG
TITLE: 20 Reasons Why I hate Jang Hyunseung.
PAIRING: Junhyung/Hyunseung.
RATING: PG-13 (For too many 'F' words).
GENRE: Fluff, Humor.
SUMMARY: Written by Junhyung in his iPad (Hahahahahaha).
A/N: I need to get this out of my mind before I write my chaptered fic...^^.
20 REASONS WHY I HATE JANG HYUNSEUNG
20th REASON.
I hate him because he attracts too many boys. I remembers clearly last year at Inkigayo, those fucking fan boys of him screaming their lungs out: Hyung !! Jang Hyunseung-hyung!! Hyung!! Hyung!!! Sometimes those fucking boys went to our concerts and activities just to gawk and to practically drool at the sight of him. What about us?? Goodness??!! Pleaseeee, our Hyunseungie are far way more beautiful than any goodness! Wait? What? Ahem, the thing is why Hyunseung turn around and give them a fucking sweet smile and then wave cutely, at them?? I mean, wear those overly fluffy big hat was already a sin. I read comments in YouTube how I was really cute waving and jumping like that. I rarely do aegyo, then, why he did not look at me?? Seeing that, I felt my fucking heart clench and it makes me so fucked up and I don't understand why.
19th REASON.
I hate him because he`s so damn stubborn. Remember the ShinPD show, he asks so many fucking basic questions. So many that he gains the title of ‘Stubborn King’. And why, he just smiles and laughs when the PD hit him? Why he want to know every little details of everything? Jang Hyunseung, if the lyrics said: No one will know the tingling painful feeling; can`t you just accept that the way it is? Don`t need to clinging onto my arms all day long asking why we wouldn`t know the tingling painful feeling. God know how funny my heartbeats at that moment. Damn, because of him, I started to wonder also why water is water. Damn, damn it!
18th REASON.
I hate him because he`s so fucking beautiful for a guy. I mean, can`t you see it? I bet God changed his gender at the last minute. Fuck! His glimmering eyes, his silky soft hair, his slender body and waist, his milky skin, his cute nose, his long hand, his wide shoulder, his delicious-looking collarbone, his skinny luscious skinny ass, his pinky lips. Yea, his lips, his lovely lips when it curved into a smile, I just…Not like I'm looking at how his lips moved or anything. I just noticed it. And his lips are not lovely, actually it's ugly! It so thin! Ugh, why am I explaining myself to an iPad? Ok...on to the next fucking reason.
17th REASON.
Talk about lips, I hate him because of his freaking innocent smile. Fuck! Just now, I thought that I hate more to see his crying and frowning face. Because his fucking smile makes my world loads better...You know, especially when he smile until showing up his perfect teeth and his right dimples. Fuck! Not in hell would I think that but I just did! Damn! These days I'm really NOT myself if I'm with him!
16th REASON.
I hate him because he always gets mad whenever people told him he was as beautiful as a girl. Is it really bad being called beautiful? It`s not everyone`s fault that you was fucking pretty and gorgeous. Fucking life! I actually think I want to be his fucking boyfriend. I mean, a beautiful man like him is more suitable to have a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. Alright, on with the next reason...before I smack you down, fucking iPad!!
15th REASON.
I hate him because he`s an ice cream monster. I mean it`s not normal to have this addiction on ice cream. He forgets everybody around him once he caught sight of the ice creams. And whatever fucking tactics I tried just to get his attention back, it's all fucking useless. Why the hell is he choosing ice creams over me-I mean the whole fucking band? I know I`m not the one to talk since I myself a ‘little’ addicts to Coca Cola. What I mean is, at least, I did not share my coke with others but him? Last week, he casually shoved a spoonful of chocolate ice cream into my mouth. And then, I noticed, he used the same spoon to feed himself. Jang Hyunseung, do you ever know the word of ‘indirect kiss’? Or should I teach you the direct kiss? Wait, wait. What the fuck I just wrote?
14th REASON.
I hate him because he can dance very well. Of course, I`m a great dancer too right? It`s natural to felt jealous over someone who is better than you. What I hate is why he dances like that? Did you see the choreography of ‘Let It Snow’? Especially the second performance at Inkigayo and the one at our United Cube Concert, did you already saw it? It`s the biggest sin, I`m telling you. Why he has to sway and trust his hips like that? It`s not only made fan girls went crazy (and that Big Bang`s leader was like: I can`t take my eyes off you), but, he will gathers more and more fan boys. And you know how I hate Hyunseung`s fan boys. Furthermore, when he put too much effort in his dance, his face turns red as a tomato, his sweats everywhere across his body (especially his luscious collarbone) and his mouth will slightly open. His sweats, oh God, those soaked clothes hugging those fucking slim body, it totally made him so fucking irresistible-ugly. It makes him so fucking ugly. For Goodness`s sake, he's not irresistible! I'm telling you, you fucking iPad!
13th REASON.
I hate him because he's too dense. He didn't even know that I-fucking Kiguana like him. Then he goes smiling to the other boys without knowing that I-fucking Kiguana was hurt. Damn! Hyunseung and his fucking admirers! Plus, when we (again) shooting for ShinPD, when all of us understand how to play the bowling-like game, he…again, he`s too dense. Sigh…I don`t want to talk about it. See it for yourself. Next, next.
12th REASON.
I hate him because he makes me sick. I really don't know why but whenever I'm around him my heart accelerates, my stomach churns and my face heats up. Are these fucking allergic reactions? Tch...Damn Hyunseung! Making me all so confused! And why the hell am I saying it you fucking iPad?
11th REASON.
I hate him because he`s really thin. Although he`s a junk food`s freak, he still skinny. Look at those thighs, so thin like a girl (again). Do he know that I, no, I mean B2uties became really worried about his condition. I'm fucking telling you...it's not that I'm worried about him. It's for Beast. If we lose some fucking lead vocalist and main dancer, then what will happens to Beast? I dare you to answer that. (Not you, fucking iPad).
10th REASON.
I hate him because he's too innocent for his own good. He's oblivious on the admiring stares he gets every fucking day whether from his fucking fan boys or even from other idols (men and women, boys and girls). Almost ten guys stared at his with lust today and I ran around making their fucking life in hell with my deathly stares. And he didn't even have a single clue about it. But man, why am I all hyped up with this fucking dancer? Tch...I'm stupid, stupid, stupid...really fucking stupid.
9th REASON.
I hate him because he's fucking 4D person. There was a time when he was day dreaming IN OUR VERY OWN CONCERT!! I got mesmeri-annoyed by his stupid, cute-ahem, it's ugly...not CUTE...that dreaming face that never fails to make me go all giggly. When I giggles like that, I mean, come on, whoever saw that will say that my cheeks was fat and chubby. And I hate that…I think. So I fucking brought him back to our Earth. He turned around and shows no reaction that says he was embarrassed. What the hell?! It's not supposed to be a reaction coming from a fucking idol whose got caught daydreaming in his concert! He must have been hit his head pretty badly. I thinks he`s crazy! And then I might be crazy too, talking to a fucking iPad about this kind of things.
8th REASON.
I hate him because he's too damn caring. Rewind back, before our debut, when we filming MTV B2ST episode 8, I was A BIT a dizzy after done that spinning part. Note the word A BIT. He does not have to…you know, the way he asks me: Are you okay? He reminds me so much of my mother who I fucking love so much. Fuck! Does this mean that I fucking love him too? Not the love for friend or stuffs but a whole new kind of love...something more…And whenever I cough or sneeze, he would look at me with concern and worry face. But that side of him is the one I fucking like the most. How he fucking cares for the whole band. Not to mention, he`s so fucking hardworking too. And even now...Hey! I supposed to write hateful comments about him not fucking praises. See, that's what he does to me. Making me fucking stupid and I fucking hate it.
7th REASON.
I hate him because he makes me think that I'm stupid. Take today as an example. Talking to a fucking iPad and now running out of ideas on why I hate him. Fuck this life!
6th REASON.
I hate him because he joined Twitter. Not really, because the real thing I hate when he joined Twitter is that, he started to take self-cam of his overly cute, gorgeous face and post it in Twitter. Can`t you keep it to yourself??? Does he realize he had made me, I mean, fan girls and fan boys having a major heart attack!! The one in bed, staring intently and innocently, I can`t…it`s really dangerous for my heart. (Note: After this, try to stare at one of the self-cams, the one with school uniform for more than 3 seconds).
5th REASON.
I hate him when he cries too much. Remember back during our Shock`s era, in a radio`s interview, he was fucking cried when he told how during his rebellious age, he had made his parent sad and how he can`t spent much more time with his younger sister as a big brother would do. I told you I don't like to see his crying face. It's because it makes my heart clench and it's very painful! And fuck I don't know why I'm like that. Damn! One more thing, in one of our latest interviews, why he shows that kind of sad face when we starts to talk about Hara? I don`t know, but I thinks it`s all because of me. And after all that I fucking hate myself because I'm one of the reasons he being sad. Like I said, why am I explaining myself to a fucking iPad!
4th REASON.
I hate him because he has the everything I want a girl to be. And he is a guy for Goodness`s sake!! He is perfect. Fuck, too perfect that it`s scary. If I start which part he is perfect, I know where it will lead, so, alright, on with the next reason...before I destroy you, fucking iPad!
3rd REASON.
I hate him because he blows my plan. You know why I never tweets him? Honestly, I want to keep our conversation in private. We sleeping next to each other, so, why use Twitter to make a conversation? Plus, I want to make B2uties being suspicious toward our relationship. Lalalala…But then, damn it, I almost chocked my coke when he starts the conversation and re-tweet back. You see, at that time, we were alone in our dorm. When he saw me watching him in front of the TV, he just smiles. Those smile, can I calls them as my allergy? Damn, I tried to play cool and replied back. Next time, don`t do that Hyunseung! I`m warning you!! Gahhhhhhh!!!!! Next please!
2nd REASON.
I hate him because he makes me hate myself. I hate myself because I can`t find any more relevant reasons to hate him. Come on Yong Jaesoon, think, think…
1st REASON.
I hate him because I realize that I love him. This talking to you, iPad, makes me realize more that I fucking love him. His laughs, his smiles...our arguments make my world brighter. With him by my side makes me fucking complete. His beauty, his unique personality, I would never forget it. What would be the taste and feeling of his lips against mine, that silky hair in my hands, that soft hand in my rough hands, that slender body in my arms and his heart given to me alone...And why the heck I'm telling it to a fucking laptop and not to him-
"Junhyung?" A familiar sweet voice asked. I swiftly turned around and hide my iPad behind my back roughly. Damn! Why Apple did not invent iPad with a cover?
"H-Hyunseung! What the are you doing here?" I asked back and added, "Did you see what I type?”
Hyunseung shrugged. “Not really. Only the love part. Are you writing a love letter?”
I kind of surprised. “Who would write love letter this day? Hahaha,” I tried to laugh sarcastically.
“Well, you`re a romantic guy, Junhyung. Who know what will you do to make your KARA girlfriend happy,” he muttered.
“Huh?”
“Oh, nothing,” he smiled.
There...my allergic reactions are firing again and I quickly looked away before he could see my fucking red face.
"Why the hell are you here?" I asked.
"Let`s follow Jiyong-hyung to the airport. Dujunie and Gina-noona will arrive here soon," he replied.
"But it's already midnight. Why we must go there welcoming him?” I questioned him.
"Come on, he will be sad if none of his band member welcoming him at the airport. Yoseobie, Gikwangie and Dongwoonie, they all fell asleep already," he answered.
"You worry about that man? Fuck! That's what I fucking hate about you," I hollered and stood up.
"Junhyung?" he uttered, confused.
"Let's go, “I said.
Maybe I'll tell him my feelings someday and I'm hoping for a fucking good response. From him and from this fucking world.
THE END
PAIRING: Junhyung/Hyunseung.
RATING: PG-13 (For too many 'F' words).
GENRE: Fluff, Humor.
SUMMARY: Written by Junhyung in his iPad (Hahahahahaha).
A/N: I need to get this out of my mind before I write my chaptered fic...^^.
20 REASONS WHY I HATE JANG HYUNSEUNG
20th REASON.
I hate him because he attracts too many boys. I remembers clearly last year at Inkigayo, those fucking fan boys of him screaming their lungs out: Hyung !! Jang Hyunseung-hyung!! Hyung!! Hyung!!! Sometimes those fucking boys went to our concerts and activities just to gawk and to practically drool at the sight of him. What about us?? Goodness??!! Pleaseeee, our Hyunseungie are far way more beautiful than any goodness! Wait? What? Ahem, the thing is why Hyunseung turn around and give them a fucking sweet smile and then wave cutely, at them?? I mean, wear those overly fluffy big hat was already a sin. I read comments in YouTube how I was really cute waving and jumping like that. I rarely do aegyo, then, why he did not look at me?? Seeing that, I felt my fucking heart clench and it makes me so fucked up and I don't understand why.
19th REASON.
I hate him because he`s so damn stubborn. Remember the ShinPD show, he asks so many fucking basic questions. So many that he gains the title of ‘Stubborn King’. And why, he just smiles and laughs when the PD hit him? Why he want to know every little details of everything? Jang Hyunseung, if the lyrics said: No one will know the tingling painful feeling; can`t you just accept that the way it is? Don`t need to clinging onto my arms all day long asking why we wouldn`t know the tingling painful feeling. God know how funny my heartbeats at that moment. Damn, because of him, I started to wonder also why water is water. Damn, damn it!
18th REASON.
I hate him because he`s so fucking beautiful for a guy. I mean, can`t you see it? I bet God changed his gender at the last minute. Fuck! His glimmering eyes, his silky soft hair, his slender body and waist, his milky skin, his cute nose, his long hand, his wide shoulder, his delicious-looking collarbone, his skinny luscious skinny ass, his pinky lips. Yea, his lips, his lovely lips when it curved into a smile, I just…Not like I'm looking at how his lips moved or anything. I just noticed it. And his lips are not lovely, actually it's ugly! It so thin! Ugh, why am I explaining myself to an iPad? Ok...on to the next fucking reason.
17th REASON.
Talk about lips, I hate him because of his freaking innocent smile. Fuck! Just now, I thought that I hate more to see his crying and frowning face. Because his fucking smile makes my world loads better...You know, especially when he smile until showing up his perfect teeth and his right dimples. Fuck! Not in hell would I think that but I just did! Damn! These days I'm really NOT myself if I'm with him!
16th REASON.
I hate him because he always gets mad whenever people told him he was as beautiful as a girl. Is it really bad being called beautiful? It`s not everyone`s fault that you was fucking pretty and gorgeous. Fucking life! I actually think I want to be his fucking boyfriend. I mean, a beautiful man like him is more suitable to have a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. Alright, on with the next reason...before I smack you down, fucking iPad!!
15th REASON.
I hate him because he`s an ice cream monster. I mean it`s not normal to have this addiction on ice cream. He forgets everybody around him once he caught sight of the ice creams. And whatever fucking tactics I tried just to get his attention back, it's all fucking useless. Why the hell is he choosing ice creams over me-I mean the whole fucking band? I know I`m not the one to talk since I myself a ‘little’ addicts to Coca Cola. What I mean is, at least, I did not share my coke with others but him? Last week, he casually shoved a spoonful of chocolate ice cream into my mouth. And then, I noticed, he used the same spoon to feed himself. Jang Hyunseung, do you ever know the word of ‘indirect kiss’? Or should I teach you the direct kiss? Wait, wait. What the fuck I just wrote?
14th REASON.
I hate him because he can dance very well. Of course, I`m a great dancer too right? It`s natural to felt jealous over someone who is better than you. What I hate is why he dances like that? Did you see the choreography of ‘Let It Snow’? Especially the second performance at Inkigayo and the one at our United Cube Concert, did you already saw it? It`s the biggest sin, I`m telling you. Why he has to sway and trust his hips like that? It`s not only made fan girls went crazy (and that Big Bang`s leader was like: I can`t take my eyes off you), but, he will gathers more and more fan boys. And you know how I hate Hyunseung`s fan boys. Furthermore, when he put too much effort in his dance, his face turns red as a tomato, his sweats everywhere across his body (especially his luscious collarbone) and his mouth will slightly open. His sweats, oh God, those soaked clothes hugging those fucking slim body, it totally made him so fucking irresistible-ugly. It makes him so fucking ugly. For Goodness`s sake, he's not irresistible! I'm telling you, you fucking iPad!
13th REASON.
I hate him because he's too dense. He didn't even know that I-fucking Kiguana like him. Then he goes smiling to the other boys without knowing that I-fucking Kiguana was hurt. Damn! Hyunseung and his fucking admirers! Plus, when we (again) shooting for ShinPD, when all of us understand how to play the bowling-like game, he…again, he`s too dense. Sigh…I don`t want to talk about it. See it for yourself. Next, next.
12th REASON.
I hate him because he makes me sick. I really don't know why but whenever I'm around him my heart accelerates, my stomach churns and my face heats up. Are these fucking allergic reactions? Tch...Damn Hyunseung! Making me all so confused! And why the hell am I saying it you fucking iPad?
11th REASON.
I hate him because he`s really thin. Although he`s a junk food`s freak, he still skinny. Look at those thighs, so thin like a girl (again). Do he know that I, no, I mean B2uties became really worried about his condition. I'm fucking telling you...it's not that I'm worried about him. It's for Beast. If we lose some fucking lead vocalist and main dancer, then what will happens to Beast? I dare you to answer that. (Not you, fucking iPad).
10th REASON.
I hate him because he's too innocent for his own good. He's oblivious on the admiring stares he gets every fucking day whether from his fucking fan boys or even from other idols (men and women, boys and girls). Almost ten guys stared at his with lust today and I ran around making their fucking life in hell with my deathly stares. And he didn't even have a single clue about it. But man, why am I all hyped up with this fucking dancer? Tch...I'm stupid, stupid, stupid...really fucking stupid.
9th REASON.
I hate him because he's fucking 4D person. There was a time when he was day dreaming IN OUR VERY OWN CONCERT!! I got mesmeri-annoyed by his stupid, cute-ahem, it's ugly...not CUTE...that dreaming face that never fails to make me go all giggly. When I giggles like that, I mean, come on, whoever saw that will say that my cheeks was fat and chubby. And I hate that…I think. So I fucking brought him back to our Earth. He turned around and shows no reaction that says he was embarrassed. What the hell?! It's not supposed to be a reaction coming from a fucking idol whose got caught daydreaming in his concert! He must have been hit his head pretty badly. I thinks he`s crazy! And then I might be crazy too, talking to a fucking iPad about this kind of things.
8th REASON.
I hate him because he's too damn caring. Rewind back, before our debut, when we filming MTV B2ST episode 8, I was A BIT a dizzy after done that spinning part. Note the word A BIT. He does not have to…you know, the way he asks me: Are you okay? He reminds me so much of my mother who I fucking love so much. Fuck! Does this mean that I fucking love him too? Not the love for friend or stuffs but a whole new kind of love...something more…And whenever I cough or sneeze, he would look at me with concern and worry face. But that side of him is the one I fucking like the most. How he fucking cares for the whole band. Not to mention, he`s so fucking hardworking too. And even now...Hey! I supposed to write hateful comments about him not fucking praises. See, that's what he does to me. Making me fucking stupid and I fucking hate it.
7th REASON.
I hate him because he makes me think that I'm stupid. Take today as an example. Talking to a fucking iPad and now running out of ideas on why I hate him. Fuck this life!
6th REASON.
I hate him because he joined Twitter. Not really, because the real thing I hate when he joined Twitter is that, he started to take self-cam of his overly cute, gorgeous face and post it in Twitter. Can`t you keep it to yourself??? Does he realize he had made me, I mean, fan girls and fan boys having a major heart attack!! The one in bed, staring intently and innocently, I can`t…it`s really dangerous for my heart. (Note: After this, try to stare at one of the self-cams, the one with school uniform for more than 3 seconds).
5th REASON.
I hate him when he cries too much. Remember back during our Shock`s era, in a radio`s interview, he was fucking cried when he told how during his rebellious age, he had made his parent sad and how he can`t spent much more time with his younger sister as a big brother would do. I told you I don't like to see his crying face. It's because it makes my heart clench and it's very painful! And fuck I don't know why I'm like that. Damn! One more thing, in one of our latest interviews, why he shows that kind of sad face when we starts to talk about Hara? I don`t know, but I thinks it`s all because of me. And after all that I fucking hate myself because I'm one of the reasons he being sad. Like I said, why am I explaining myself to a fucking iPad!
4th REASON.
I hate him because he has the everything I want a girl to be. And he is a guy for Goodness`s sake!! He is perfect. Fuck, too perfect that it`s scary. If I start which part he is perfect, I know where it will lead, so, alright, on with the next reason...before I destroy you, fucking iPad!
3rd REASON.
I hate him because he blows my plan. You know why I never tweets him? Honestly, I want to keep our conversation in private. We sleeping next to each other, so, why use Twitter to make a conversation? Plus, I want to make B2uties being suspicious toward our relationship. Lalalala…But then, damn it, I almost chocked my coke when he starts the conversation and re-tweet back. You see, at that time, we were alone in our dorm. When he saw me watching him in front of the TV, he just smiles. Those smile, can I calls them as my allergy? Damn, I tried to play cool and replied back. Next time, don`t do that Hyunseung! I`m warning you!! Gahhhhhhh!!!!! Next please!
2nd REASON.
I hate him because he makes me hate myself. I hate myself because I can`t find any more relevant reasons to hate him. Come on Yong Jaesoon, think, think…
1st REASON.
I hate him because I realize that I love him. This talking to you, iPad, makes me realize more that I fucking love him. His laughs, his smiles...our arguments make my world brighter. With him by my side makes me fucking complete. His beauty, his unique personality, I would never forget it. What would be the taste and feeling of his lips against mine, that silky hair in my hands, that soft hand in my rough hands, that slender body in my arms and his heart given to me alone...And why the heck I'm telling it to a fucking laptop and not to him-
"Junhyung?" A familiar sweet voice asked. I swiftly turned around and hide my iPad behind my back roughly. Damn! Why Apple did not invent iPad with a cover?
"H-Hyunseung! What the are you doing here?" I asked back and added, "Did you see what I type?”
Hyunseung shrugged. “Not really. Only the love part. Are you writing a love letter?”
I kind of surprised. “Who would write love letter this day? Hahaha,” I tried to laugh sarcastically.
“Well, you`re a romantic guy, Junhyung. Who know what will you do to make your KARA girlfriend happy,” he muttered.
“Huh?”
“Oh, nothing,” he smiled.
There...my allergic reactions are firing again and I quickly looked away before he could see my fucking red face.
"Why the hell are you here?" I asked.
"Let`s follow Jiyong-hyung to the airport. Dujunie and Gina-noona will arrive here soon," he replied.
"But it's already midnight. Why we must go there welcoming him?” I questioned him.
"Come on, he will be sad if none of his band member welcoming him at the airport. Yoseobie, Gikwangie and Dongwoonie, they all fell asleep already," he answered.
"You worry about that man? Fuck! That's what I fucking hate about you," I hollered and stood up.
"Junhyung?" he uttered, confused.
"Let's go, “I said.
Maybe I'll tell him my feelings someday and I'm hoping for a fucking good response. From him and from this fucking world.
THE END