Disposing of the bodies (for values of 'bodies' approaching 'spiky evergreen shrubs')
There's a Pyracantha at the end of the garden next to the low bit of wall where Scrotes, were they so inclined, could usefully hurdle into my patch and pilfer the shed at their leisure.
Pyracanthas are also known as 'burglar bush'. That and its position are not a coincidence.
Since I spent the time when I should have been hacking back last year's growth in a pit of depression, the thing's about twice the size it should be. It's also rammed with bright orange berries as a warning to energy suppliers everywhere that they should increase their prices without delay.
All of this means that after The Wind from Nowhere at the beginning of the week, the sodding thing was leaning at an angle usually reserved for blackthorn bushes in coastal areas, which was more of an embarrassment than usual.
Now it's just an embarrassing heap next to the other embarrassing heaps and I have hands that look like I've been feeding pills to a mob of angry cats.
Of course the next problem is disposal of the remains. The council are really quite useless when it comes to hazardous garden waste.
It's going to have to be FIRE, isn't it.
Pyracanthas are also known as 'burglar bush'. That and its position are not a coincidence.
Since I spent the time when I should have been hacking back last year's growth in a pit of depression, the thing's about twice the size it should be. It's also rammed with bright orange berries as a warning to energy suppliers everywhere that they should increase their prices without delay.
All of this means that after The Wind from Nowhere at the beginning of the week, the sodding thing was leaning at an angle usually reserved for blackthorn bushes in coastal areas, which was more of an embarrassment than usual.
Now it's just an embarrassing heap next to the other embarrassing heaps and I have hands that look like I've been feeding pills to a mob of angry cats.
Of course the next problem is disposal of the remains. The council are really quite useless when it comes to hazardous garden waste.
It's going to have to be FIRE, isn't it.