This one doesn't have a clever title either because the only ones that come to mind are unhelpful.
So, um, in the course of kicking some ideas around a muddy 2ndXI pitch before they put the goalposts back for the start of the new term, an idea that I'm not entirely sure how to express came to me...
'If I have this shiny-thing[1] then things will generally be better and I will be able to hold my head up in polite society and/or do better in my work and/or cop off with that person of appropriate gender-presentation.' (Or some other outcome along those lines.) :
Poll BOGOF(F)
[1] Where 'shiny-thing' expands to 'boots, article(s) of clothing, leather goods, elective surgical procedure, electronic device, personal conveyance, &c.' I'm not entirely sure if it encompasses 'toy frenzy', but that may (or may not) be a gendered assumption.
'If I have this shiny-thing[1] then things will generally be better and I will be able to hold my head up in polite society and/or do better in my work and/or cop off with that person of appropriate gender-presentation.' (Or some other outcome along those lines.) :
Poll BOGOF(F)
[1] Where 'shiny-thing' expands to 'boots, article(s) of clothing, leather goods, elective surgical procedure, electronic device, personal conveyance, &c.' I'm not entirely sure if it encompasses 'toy frenzy', but that may (or may not) be a gendered assumption.