Missing Hiroto/Shou
Title: missing
Author: hirachan
Pair: Hiroto/shou
Rate: M (unbeta-ed)
Shou woke up that morning in his own blood on the floor while Hiroto was high in the corner 3 metres away..
I guess this fic can link into Addicted, just add me and view. ^^ Listen to the song ‘missing’-evanescence to fully feel the impact it goes with the story.
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out;
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something.......
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Shou puts on his jacket and walks back into the bedroom to say farewell to his Hiroto. Hiroto is sitting in a corner away from the morning sun, dazed and unaware of his surroundings or the events of last night. When Shou begged him ‘no’ on his knees but Hiroto continued his horror of abuse and rape on the other slapping him to stay awake every time he threatened to slip into unconscious.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Shou woke up that morning in his own blood on the floor while Hiroto was high in the corner 3 metres away. Shou cried in the shower and finally decided he couldn’t take it anymore. Even though he promised to himself he would be there for Hiroto until the end he couldn’t handle it anymore. The landlord came by demanding for the rent which they couldn’t afford anymore after Hiroto blew it all on feeding his habit. Shou ashamed begged for another week, he couldn’t work because Hiroto wouldn’t let him but he was sick of living in abuse and poverty with no proper food.
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
Kai came by last week when Hiroto was on his ‘night crack parties’ and gave Shou a number and advice. Shou pulls it out and looks at it again, it wasn’t one of his friends but Kai said the person would help Shou get away from Hiroto without ever being found.
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Shou touches Hiroto’s sunken cheeks and thin dirty hair and once beautiful pouty lips. He loved Hiroto with everything he had but now there was nothing there, only pity and emptiness. He felt guilty for leaving Hiroto behind but he can no longer stay in the past just for him. Shou pushes the tray of food towards Hiroto hoping he would eat when he wakes up. ‘Hiroto, this is my last token of love for you, I’m sorry but I’m moving on…and this time without you’.
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Shou kisses Hiroto lips, takes one last fleeting look at his lover and leaves the bedroom. Picking up his small bag Shou locks the door and leaves the building trying to hold back his tears but failing. And heads towards the person who will take him away from Hiroto and away from Japan, to America.
Shou knows the Hiroto won’t notice he’s gone from his life, he will just wake up and think ‘Isn’t something missing?’