OCIP reflections
I dont know how many people share the same habit, but whenever im placed in a situation i look for role models. classy girls, adventurous girls, lovelife girls. its though admiration that you realize where you fall short of, and set benchmarks to improve certain areas of your life. UNFORTUNATELY, what i often forget is that no one's perfect.. and that using other lives as models can disappoint. especially when i discover that they're not all i thought they'd be.
My ocip up to Terengannu was slow moving so i had time to re-read God Chicks by Holly Wagner (its an super book btw. girls you should go buy it from Life bookstore). A few things things struck me and ill put in a cut
"Discovering your purpose is a process. Ask yourself how you want to be remembered... by your husband and your children... by your coworkers... by your world. Are the things you are doing now leading to that? If not, change what you are doing. If you want to be remembered by your children as a mother who was encouraging, loving and inspiring, are you being those things now?? If you want your community to see you as caring for those who are less fortunate, are you doing that now? What are some words that describe you? What jobs are you doing now? Then list some cues that excite you. There are all things that can help you understand your purpose in each day. Now you set goals that help you accomplish your purpose. Many people set goals and then get frustrated because they don't reach them... that's because the goals have very little to do with their purpose, so there's no excitement.
Here's the process. Perhaps you want to be remembered by your community a someone who helped the underdog, as someone who cared for people. And maybe you describe yourself as compassionate, tenderhearted, and a lover of people. Right now, you are teaching kindergarten, and the cause that stirs you is finding a way to make life easier and more fun for children with disabilities. You love to help with Special Olympics and other similar events. Your purpose on the planet will in some way be related to compassionately teaching and helping children who are developmentally disabled. So taking a basket-weaving class may be fun for a moment, but you probably won't finish it because it doesn't relate to your purpose... unless you are going to weave baskets for the kids! Set goals that relate to your passion... your purpose.",
but in summary, she asked me to describe myself and ask myself how i want to be remembered. cos my purpose will somehow be related to who i am, what i love to do and what's important to me. after reading that it suddenly struck me that i keep looking for role models because i never personally confirmed who i am or want to be. so i wasn't sure. so i lacked a direction. so i followed anyone who looked interesting. as a result, the chase of everything often led to the lack of fulfillment and disappointment simply because certain things didn't sustain the happiness.
As i was sitting on my 10 hour bus ride it became clear once again that i had to come home and figure out who i was and how i wanted to be remembered and that i needed to stop looking to man for standards and benchmarks because no one is perfect. it was the same revelation, another time- chase God, not Man. why tap onto small powers when you have direct connections to the source right?
For the record/personal accountability,
How i want to be remembered (by my family):
I want to be remembered as a daughter and sister who always loves despite my anger or frustration.
One who understands when bad days come and supports despite how i might feel
One who isn't afraid to deal with unreasonableness
One who explains her views and listens to others
One who is not afraid to say i'm sorry
One who tells about her day with genuine interest
One who shares about her problems
One who is available for daily chats and heart to hearts
One who makes quality time for my parents and siblings
One who is proud of them.
One who is fun and happy
One who goes out of the way to run an errand
One who springs surprises
One who hugs and kisses
My ocip up to Terengannu was slow moving so i had time to re-read God Chicks by Holly Wagner (its an super book btw. girls you should go buy it from Life bookstore). A few things things struck me and ill put in a cut
"Discovering your purpose is a process. Ask yourself how you want to be remembered... by your husband and your children... by your coworkers... by your world. Are the things you are doing now leading to that? If not, change what you are doing. If you want to be remembered by your children as a mother who was encouraging, loving and inspiring, are you being those things now?? If you want your community to see you as caring for those who are less fortunate, are you doing that now? What are some words that describe you? What jobs are you doing now? Then list some cues that excite you. There are all things that can help you understand your purpose in each day. Now you set goals that help you accomplish your purpose. Many people set goals and then get frustrated because they don't reach them... that's because the goals have very little to do with their purpose, so there's no excitement.
Here's the process. Perhaps you want to be remembered by your community a someone who helped the underdog, as someone who cared for people. And maybe you describe yourself as compassionate, tenderhearted, and a lover of people. Right now, you are teaching kindergarten, and the cause that stirs you is finding a way to make life easier and more fun for children with disabilities. You love to help with Special Olympics and other similar events. Your purpose on the planet will in some way be related to compassionately teaching and helping children who are developmentally disabled. So taking a basket-weaving class may be fun for a moment, but you probably won't finish it because it doesn't relate to your purpose... unless you are going to weave baskets for the kids! Set goals that relate to your passion... your purpose.",
but in summary, she asked me to describe myself and ask myself how i want to be remembered. cos my purpose will somehow be related to who i am, what i love to do and what's important to me. after reading that it suddenly struck me that i keep looking for role models because i never personally confirmed who i am or want to be. so i wasn't sure. so i lacked a direction. so i followed anyone who looked interesting. as a result, the chase of everything often led to the lack of fulfillment and disappointment simply because certain things didn't sustain the happiness.
As i was sitting on my 10 hour bus ride it became clear once again that i had to come home and figure out who i was and how i wanted to be remembered and that i needed to stop looking to man for standards and benchmarks because no one is perfect. it was the same revelation, another time- chase God, not Man. why tap onto small powers when you have direct connections to the source right?
For the record/personal accountability,
How i want to be remembered (by my family):
I want to be remembered as a daughter and sister who always loves despite my anger or frustration.
One who understands when bad days come and supports despite how i might feel
One who isn't afraid to deal with unreasonableness
One who explains her views and listens to others
One who is not afraid to say i'm sorry
One who tells about her day with genuine interest
One who shares about her problems
One who is available for daily chats and heart to hearts
One who makes quality time for my parents and siblings
One who is proud of them.
One who is fun and happy
One who goes out of the way to run an errand
One who springs surprises
One who hugs and kisses